It’s Wednesday, and for the last time, I’ll be Wishing with Jamie Ridler of Jamie Ridler Studios. Since the spring, I’ve been wished with Jamie and the community around the Wishcasting practice, making connections and exploring what I want and why I want it – what it truly is and what it looks like.
Everything changes, and I know that. It is difficult, though, when change happens. Every week I look forward to the email from Jamie with the day’s prompt and taking the time to think through what it means to me. I will miss that. I wish Jamie well in her future endeavors with Wishcasting, although I selfishly wish that she were continuing it in its current form.
For this week, though…for me. Jamie’s prompt this week is
What do you wish for?
The Sky is wide open. No judgment. No limitations. What do you wish for? Anything at all.
It’s been a difficult week for me, and after such an emotionally fraught week, what I wish for desperately is peace. I want to make the past be less painful. I want to accept it for what it was and move on from it. I want to be able to be there and not be upset or bombarded by memories that hurt.
And after today, I wish again for health. I had an appointment with my doctor today – ostensibly to be getting refills on a few prescriptions. One of the things that I know is I don’t typically respond typically to medications. They have opposite effects on me. And I’ve been taking medications for about six months that have had no effects. I’ll be trying another starting tomorrow. And it’s costing me more than it did under my previous insurance. In fact my current insurance sucks ass, which makes me extremely nervous about the appointments that will have to be made after the beginning of the year. No co-pays kick in until I meet my $1000/deductible, and my prescriptions are more expensive. Today’s visit to the doctor and my prescriptions cost me $170. I get to do it all over again in two weeks. It would be much easier to be healthy, and I really wish for that.
Today as always, I’m wishing for fertility. It’s another month. The clock continues to tick for me. It’s OK for now, but each month that slips away makes the task that much more difficult and expensive.
With regards to my work and the way I provide for my family, I want to work more closely in the areas where my passion resides. Namely – helping teachers do better work and helping adults tap into their own creativity – primarily through their writing.
I also wish to have time – to create my own things. My writing. My photography. I want to practice and re-do and learn.
I also wish to be free from worry. It travels with me. Part of my nature, part of who I am, but I’d like to not have it consume me.
What about you? What do you wish for yourself this week?