Because Sweet Husband and I just celebrated our second anniversary this month and because I feel like I talk about our relationship quite a bit, I’ve decided that at least for the next little while, my posts on Thursdays will be about marriage – some of the issues we face, the things that work for us, articles, perspectives, posts that I find useful in helping us create a stronger bond. Feel free to share what is working for you in your relationship as we spend some time focused on marriage.
Monday was our second anniversary. We spent the weekend in New Orleans, enjoying ourselves by doing all the things that we don’t normally get a chance to do because our trips are rushed and focused on other things. We got a great rate on a room and just made ourselves comfortable for the duration.
Monday morning, I got up much earlier than Sweet Husband which isn’t anything unusual. I’m usually out of bed long before he is in the morning, and I have a few hours to slowly come to life – catch up on social media, have some coffee, get my morning pages done, read a little bit. Monday wasn’t any different in that part of the routine. I sat at the desk in our hotel room, drinking bad coffee (I could have gone to the Starbucks in the lobby but I didn’t want to actually get out of my PJs), listening to the reassuring refrain of his snore and looked out over the French Quarter, contemplating the last year and thinking about what comes next.
As I started working through my morning pages, I thought about how I often use my morning pages to plan out where I want to go next and create intentions for myself. At the beginning of a month, the beginning of a week, some times the start of a day. And I wondered to myself why I had never really thought to set intentions for my marriage. I believe in putting things on paper. Ever since going through Mondo Beyondo, I have appreciated the power of putting my hopes and dreams down in writing and then sometimes working towards achieving them and other times letting the Universe work her magic.
So Monday morning I wrote down some goals and intentions for the next year for my marriage. In those first sleepy, dreamy moments, here’s what bubbled to the top:
- Living together full-time under the same roof ON THE GULF COAST
- Routinely saving 20% of our income
- Contributing regularly to a retirement account outside of the ones provided by our jobs
- Eliminating our debt
- Preparing to welcome a child into our family – either through pregnancy or adoption
- Increasing our level of health – through a balanced approach to wellness that includes healthful eating and exercise (I don’t think it’s unreasonable for us to each lose 50 pounds in the next year)
- Becoming involved in our community through regular volunteering – possibly the MSU Extension Master Gardeners program
- Saving for 2 major trips each year (we know that September 28 to Dallas is one; our anniversary next year will probably be the other)
- Regular outings that involve just us and those that involve our friends
I notice that a lot of these tend to revolve around money. I guess that my subconscious is telling me that it would really like me to get the financial house in order. Oddly if I get the job I’ve been waiting a week to hear back about now (:( ), lots of things on this list can easily be crossed off.
These are my intentions and goals for the year. The next step, of course, is to have a conversation with Sweet Husband and see what his goals for us are. And then I suppose we begin working on how to merge our intentions and goals so that we are working towards the same things.
After I put together my list, I started searching for resources for goal setting in marriages because that’s one of the things that I do – I find resources. I liked this one, but I also really liked this one from She Knows. Sweet Husband and I will take a look at them this weekend and begin to work our way towards creating intentions for our marriage.
Do you set goals for your marriage? How do you find that it works for you and your spouse?