Today’s prompt from Kat is as follows:
What sorts of lists do you have on the go at the moment?
What do they suggest you are praying for?
I am a list maker. I have several list apps on my phone to help keep me on track and ready to at the very least pretend that I am with it and together. Without my lists, I don’t know what I would do with myself. The joke between Sweet Husband and I is that when it is time to tackle a chore at the house…like cleaning the house, which will need to happen before my Sner arrives in 17 days…I make detailed lists.
I’m not sure when I stumbled upon the idea of lists to keep myself organized, but I can’t remember when I didn’t use them.
Right now I’ve got the following lists happening:
- Christmas presents
- Photos to take
- Photos to print
- Writing prompts to think about
- Photo prompts to contemplate
- Things that need to happen at work
- Piece of furniture we still need for the house
- Things that need to be done for the new house
- Christmas cards to send
- Assignments to complete (including Andrea’s course that I have yet to log in to. WTF was I thinking signing up for that on top of a photo course on top of a blogging course on top of Reverb on top of Quest 2016 on top of trying to get ready for the holidays?)
- Christmas decorations to find and/or purchase
- Local activities that we might want to participate in
- The things that need to happen in order to rebrand my blog for a hopeful early January launch (I wanted to do it on Jan 1 but I don’t think that’s going to happen)
- Planning for 2016
Just to name a few.
I’ve never quite thought of lists as prayers, but I suppose that makes sense. At base, I think that my lists are prayers that I’m going to amount to something – that at the end of the day, I’ll have something to show for the hours that I’ve spent awake. I think that I’m always slightly afraid that I really am my father’s daughter – he of grand plans but no follow-through. If I’m making all these lists, then surely I’m doing something? Surely I’m making some progress towards all the things that I say I’m going to do?My lists are hope that I'm going to amount to something. Click To Tweet
The scary truth is that often I don’t feel like I’m making any progress because when I get to the end of a day, there’s still so many things left unchecked, so many things that have not been crossed off the lists. That makes me wonder if the lists really mean anything at the end of the day. If I’m just going to sit on the couch when I get home anyway, why go through the bother of making a list? Just today I was supposed to clean the bathroom, finish the laundry, and paint the brass accents on the daybed I bought over the weekend. None of those crossed of my list.
My lists are prayers of aspiration - who I think I want to be. Click To Tweet
Then again perhaps part of the problem is that there are so many things on my list that there is no way for me to possibly accomplish all of them. I did do things today – took some pictures, went to Lowes for the wood filler that I need for the other daybed in the garage, got my lesson plans done, had a conversation with my boss about what I need to do the next three weeks, helped SH figure out how to make the graphs that he needs for his school project, snuggled with SH when I was experiencing some overwhelming anxiety, paid some bills, printed off the materials for this week’s modules in the blogging course I’m taking.
I think my lists are prayers of aspiration – who I want to be…or at least who I think I want to be. I want to be together and productive and creative and dependable (hmmmm…hadn’t that about that word until just now), but I’m just not there yet. I don’t know if I ever will be. What’s that bit about church? That it’s a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints? Perhaps that is what my lists are – my triage station.
Are you a list maker? What lists are you in the middle of making right now? And won’t you join us for Reverb15?