It is perhaps perfect…again…that today’s prompt from Write Alm is what it is. I don’t participate every day because I don’t remember to every day and because the prompts often don’t speak to me but it seems when I’m in need of some direction, right there they are for me.
Today’s prompt is “Seeking Solace”.
I have spent most of the day home, in bed. When I’ve been awake, I’ve been trying to convince myself that I feel better than I do, trying to pretend that there isn’t something really wrong with me. I do this every time I have one of these episodes; have been doing it for years. I can hear you asking, “If you’ve been doing this for years, why don’t you go to the doctor??”
Well. The long and short of it is that I have been to the doctor, and I haven’t had the best of relationships with doctors. It’s been a huge struggle to find one compassionate and understanding and willing to help. And then the other side of that is that I’m pretty sure that I know what’s wrong with me, and I’m kinda feel like I really don’t want to know…the not knowing is better than the knowing.
Which is not to say that I won’t feel that way forever. With the new insurance, I haven’t met my deductible yet so I’m waiting for the new year. I’ll be making those appointments.
In the meantime, though, today I’ve been seeking solace in naps and pajamas. Hot coffee. Fried rice. Reading when I’m awake. More naps. Emails with friends. Reading some blog posts. Doing some investigation online about what’s wrong with me. More naps. Some texts from Sweet Husband and a phone call. And remembering that in just a little while – tomorrow maybe, the next day certainly – I’ll feel better.
When you need solace, what works for you?