I’m participating in Write ALM’s Prompt-a-Day for the month of February. Feel free to join us!
Today’s prompt is
It *is* Valentine’s Day, so It is no shock that today’s prompt has something to do with love. Valentine’s Day has never held a lot of interest for me – I don’t tend to be overly sentimental or put a lot of stock into how I’m supposed to feel about someone on a particular day.
Which is not to say that when Sweet Husband brings home flowers or makes some grand romantic gesture on Valentine’s Day, I won’t appreciate it. I will and I do. But I told him that I’d be happy with roses from the grocery store. His response was that I don’t get to tell him where he’s going to buy flowers (he likes the florist around the corner from the house). When he told folks that we were planning to hit up our favorite all-you-can-eat dungeness crab and royal red shrimp buffet tomorrow night, he was told that it’s evident we haven’t been married very long because we’re not going somewhere fancy for dinner. To my mind, it would be the opposite – the longer you’re married, the less you feel the need for the big show.
But. What do I know? We’re not even to year two yet, and I like to consider us practical people.
Interestingly, I consider love to very much be an intersection of the head and heart. It isn’t all about the emotion, and it’s certainly not all about the thoughts. Loving Sweet Husband was certainly a decision that I made to let myself love him. He’s not typically my type, and I was not convinced that we could make a relationship work. I was afraid that we were too far apart in terms of our goals and our interests. At some point I had to make the choice – in my head – to let go of all of that and let it happen.
It was both terrifying and liberating.
Loving my husband – with both my head and heart – has been one of the best decisions that I could have ever made. Every day the rightness of that choice is reinforced in both small and fantastic ways. Even when there are storms in our relationship, we are so very good for and with each other.
When I think back to those days of doubt – of wondering what I was doing, if this was the relationship for me, if we could overcome our differences and make the relationship work – it’s hard to go back through all of the hurt that I caused us, how much time I wasted trying to come to a decision, figuring out what was real and what I could trust. I suppose that in the end, as long as we are at a place where we are strong and happy and good, it is all worth it.
Today as with every day, I’m grateful to have such an amazing partner in my life. I’m lucky to have someone who is patient with me and loves me for both my heart and my head, even with both of them cause us frustration.