It’s been another quiet weekend here on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. I feel like things should be a bit more exciting, but they aren’t. I almost typed “sorry” and then realized that I’m not sorry. It feels a lot like I need to a weekend unwind but a life unwind.
I can feel it in my shoulders and neck. One of the great benefits of working at BCC was the access to free massages. I haven’t had one since I left there, and I can totally feel it. Sweet Husband and I were talking about getting the Sner a massage for a Christmas present right around the same time I asked him to put some polar frost on my neck because I was so knotted up I couldn’t stand it. He told me then I needed to get a massage, which is a sweet idea, but when looking at the realities of life – until yesterday I hadn’t had a manicure or pedicure since February because spending the $50 on that seemed extravagant and wasteful. So $60 for a massage? Not in my monthly budget…although to be honest, I’ve been thinking about how I can fit something like a Massage Envy membership into my expenses.
Friday morning during my morning pages, I wrote out a huge long list of things that I wanted to get accomplished on Saturday while I had the house to myself. And then Friday at work, during the 5 hour leadership team meeting that produced 6 pages of typed minutes (I do minutes in an outline form. So 6 pages of an outline. Let that sink in 6 pages), I realized that the long hours I’m currently working are about to get much, much longer. And that as soon as we get into a rhythm – possibly as soon as this Monday – I will be essentially be losing my Sunday to lesson plan review. So 10-12 hour days and a lost day on the weekend. But no raise in pay.
All of that led to the realization yesterday morning during my morning pages that seemed to take forever to get through, that there were really only two things I needed to accomplish during this week that I have off: clean my house and rest. That’s it. Nothing more than that. There are plenty of things that I would like to get done – like sewing the lining into the drapes for the bedroom since I spent $70 on said lining yesterday and I’ve had the drapes for months – but in the meantime, I’m thinking about just resting and gearing up for all the work that is about to land on my plate.
Which is not to say that there aren’t still things happening.
I spent Saturday running around town like a chicken with my head cut off. I’m not looking forward to this holiday shopping season if Saturday’s experience is any indication of how it’s likely to go. At the fabric store, the lady behind the register saw I had a discount code but noted it was for online shopping. Instead of taking the code off one of the paper coupons that were sitting on top of her cash drawer, which is what she eventually did, she made me look up the correct code on my phone. Which took 5 minutes because of all the traffic on the the network and the location of the fabric store. Once I pulled up the correct code, she picked up one of the coupons on her cash drawer and entered the code from it.
At the grocery store, a man literally shoved me and my cart out of the way as I was entering the check-out lane.
At the salvage store, the checker insisted that the sheets I was buying were almost twice as expensive as what the signs said. They were still a bargain at that price, so I bought them. It galls though that there is no thought to honoring what is advertised. (FYI, I’ll be making a trip back there this week to talk to the manager about it. If I get a credit – which would be almost enough to buy another sheet – that’s cool. if not, then I’ve been heard)
At the other salvage store, the other people in the check out line were so incredibly rude to the cashier that I was embarrassed for them.
People have a job to do. I get that. Yelling at them about how they do that job isn’t going to help matters at all. It’s only going to get worse as the holiday season goes on.
I used to enjoy getting out on Black Friday and watching the show – not necessarily shopping but observing people – but as I get older and more sensitive perhaps, I find that I have no patience for such ridiculousness.
This weekend, I spent some time rediscovering my music collection, and I listened to The Dixie Chicks’ “More Love” multiple times. It feels like we really all could use a little more love these days.
This weekend also happened to be the New Moon for November. I didn’t get to go through my new moon ritual because I ran out of hours in the day, but I did create my wishes. They are essentially the same wishes as I make every new moon, but I had an epiphany as I was looking back over my previous wishes: while it is taking longer than I thought it would, I am moving closer to what I desire. I suppose the trick is to keep believing and trusting in the process. (I have a post coming next month about my New Moon process)
Today with the storms rolling across the Coast, I’ve been at home, just kind of hanging out. I did head out to the store for a minute and experienced a terrible anxiety attack. It’s been a long time since I’ve had an anxiety attack. When I posted about it on twitter, I said it was unexplained, but as I was thinking about it and trying to make it go away, I realized that it wasn’t unexplained. I knew exactly where it came from. I have a rather fucked up relationship with money; going to the bank makes me sweat even though I know there’s money in my account and I swing from obsessively checking the bank app on my phone to being terrified to log-in to it. And today’s anxiety attack was all about money. *sigh* There’s a lot more there that needs to be explored there, but knowing what it was all about gives me the ability to move forward and look for ways to fix the problem.
As we wind the weekend down, it’s time to again set intentions for the coming week.
At the beginning of each week, I like to set intentions to guide my work during the coming week. I break my intentions up into categories to provide myself with focus.
- Finish reading book on teacher evaluation
- Update resume
- Prepare materials and things to take to my office
- Order tablet
- Create a visual categories page
- Figure out how to create a product collage (I’m looking at polyvore, although I don’t want it for clothing)
- Create December editorial calendar
- Schedule posts for the rest of this week and next
- Continue to practice self-care
- Get the Christmas cards ready to mail out
- Clean the house
- Sew lining for bedroom drapes
In a nutshell that was my weekend. Quieter and more introspective than I had anticipated. How about you? How was your weekend? What do you have on tap for this American Thanksgiving week?