It’s been an odd week of transition. Of doors closed and windows opened and disruptions to routine and normalcy. I’m really hoping that in the next week my life begins to return to some rhythms that I recognize as familiar.
On Saturday I went to get a pedicure with my sweet mother-in-law. She asked me what I wanted to do, what I planned to do, where I was going to go. the truth of the matter is that I don’t really know. I’ve found that the avenues that I’ve traditionally traveled aren’t necessarily open to me anymore, which means that I am free to create whatever life it is that I want. Deep in my soul, I feel I’m being called to write. Write what I don’t know. But write. So I suppose that is the direction I want to point my arrow. That is where I want to go. I just have to figure out how exactly to get there.
In the meantime, though, I need to get back to my routines and rhythms. That is my overarching goal for this next week. To get back into my routine.
- Getting up and going for a walk
- Writing every day
- Caring for my plants
- Keeping the house clean
Somewhere in there is the applying for jobs and trying to figure out how exactly to support myself and this family while I’m doing that as well as sewing and taking pictures and creating all sorts of lord knows what.
Caring for myself. That’s what I want to prioritize in the coming weeks. Taking care of me and learning how to be good to myself again.
Somewhere in there is the need to let go of some judgement. Earlier in the week I felt like drama was coming at me from all angles. I hate drama. I dislike the emotional upset that it causes, but I also know that it is incredibly easy to get caught up in it. And while I’m not directly involved in the drama, it is difficult to see people making bad choices. But I have to remember that those are their bad choices to make. *sigh*
There are things that people have to learn on their own. You’d think public humiliation and a lack of trust would be enough, but some people are addicted to the drama and the pain of dysfunction. Been there, done that, have the scars.
At any rate. My goals for this week are:
- Mind my business. Lord knows I have enough on my own plate to worry about. I don’t need to get involved in the drama of others.
- Take care of myself – exercise, take my medicine the way I’m supposed to, write.
- Finish The Desire Map. Hopefully it will give me some clarity about where I want to go and where I need to focus my energies.
- Explore options.
- Take a bunch of photos.
- Clean the house and get rid of some things.
What are you hoping the coming week brings you? Where would you like to point yourself and be at the end of the week?