This post is part of The Declaration of You! Blog Lovin’ tour, which I’m participating in along with over 100 other creative bloggers. During the next several weeks, I’ll be posting on various topics that addressed in The Declaration of You!, and I’m so very excited to be a part of this larger community. This week’s theme is “Trust”.
It is somewhat ironic that at just the moment I need to trust most and I am struggling with it more than I can remember in recent times, I am tasked with writing about trust. Things happen the way they are supposed to, eh?
There was a lot that I had planned to write about trust an then my world turned upside down a bit on Monday. I found an anonymous note in my work mailbox that said to be careful who I trusted, that perhaps someone I’d considered trust-worthy wasn’t. Which was enough of a blow because really? But it was sage advice. I’d trusted someone I shouldn’t have.
Sweet Husband has been trying to tell me for quite some time that perhaps I’m trusting those that I shouldn’t. He was right.
Our approaches are different. He views everyone skeptically. He doesn’t extend trust until that trust is earned. I, on the other hand, give it freely, believing that when someone abuses my trust and my belief in them, it says much more about them than it does about me. And even now, in this moment of realization, I still believe that. I believe that those who betray my trust own that betrayal.
The problem comes, though, in the aftermath. When you trust someone who betrays you, how do you then get back on the horse and trust not only someone else but yourself as well? How do you begin again to rebuild your sense of being able to judge a person and their character and accept that you may be wrong? How do you keep from building up layers of scar tissue that punishes the rest of the world (and yourself if we’re being totally honest here) for the faults of others?
I’m not even in the middle of it-I’m at the very beginning of dealing with this grief of trusting someone and something I shouldn’t have. If past history is any indication, it’s going to take me a little while to get through this piece of it. I’m going to be hurt and deflated for awhile. Withdrawn. Protective.
And then because I can’t really be any other way, I’m going to open back up. Not to those who have proven themselves to be harmful to my self worth but to the next person who comes along. For awhile it may be more tentative but eventually it comes back.
For the most part I trust that the world is a world is a good place and the people in it are essentially good. I am thrown for a loop when confronted with evidence to the contrary. I trust that all will be out to rights when it is supposed to be. It’s not my place to worry about those things. I just keep moving forward and trust that in taking care of myself, in being myself, everything else takes care of itself.
How do you handle trust and the abuse of it? How do you remain open when it is difficult to do so?
The Declaration of You will be published by North Light Craft Books this summer, with readers getting all the permission they’ve craved to step passionately into their lives, discover how they and their gifts are unique and uncover what they are meant to do! This post is part of The Declaration of You’s BlogLovin’ Tour, which I’m thrilled to participate in alongside over 100 other creative bloggers. Learn more — and join us! — by clicking here.