Because Sweet Husband and I will be celebrating our second anniversary next month and because I feel like I talk about our relationship quite a bit, I’ve decided that at least for the next little while, my posts onThursdays will be about marriage – some of the issues we face, the things that work for us, articles, perspectives, posts that I find useful in helping us create a stronger bond. Feel free to share what is working for you in your relationship as we spend some time focused on marriage.
I read a lot of articles about how to strengthen/improve/maintain your marriage, and it seems to me that many of them come down to the same things:
- Respect your spouse – you married them for a reason, and if you can’t show each other respect – what’s the point? I work really hard at this one. I am not always the nicest person, but you will never hear me disparage Sweet Husband in public. I try to remember to not do it in private as well. That means no name calling. I’m always bothered when I see and hear other couples engaged in this kind of behavior. If your spouse cannot count on you to be their biggest supporter and defender, then what’s the point?
- Continue to engage in physical affection. Physical touch, kissing each other, holding hands, having sex – it keeps you connected, promoting those happy endorphins and lovey-dovey feelings. I don’t know if you’ve ever read The Five Love Languages (to be honest, I haven’t, but Sweet Husband and I have a Five Love Languages Devotional that we like), but I think there’s something to it. Physical Touch happens to be Sweet Husband’s Love Language; it is not mine. Living apart for much of the week makes it difficult to remain connected in that way, and I know that it creates frustration for him. I need to make a better commitment to cultivating the physical side of our relationship. It’s important to him, which makes it important to me.
- Do the little things for each other. I think we are good at this – both little and big things; however, some times I need to be reminded to do some things. Last night Sweet Husband asked me if I was going to be cooking for him during my spring break since I was going to be home. I responded that I hadn’t planned on it since I had a ton of things I wanted to get done. Then I realized that it’s really not that big of a deal for me to cook for him. The things that he wants me to cook, the things he likes, don’t take a lot of time to make. Now, I don’t know that I’ll be getting up and making him breakfast, but I can certainly work on dinner each day. I can do that for him.
This week, I stumbled across this blog post, and I really like the idea of putting as much energy as we would if we were trying to save it as well as the idea that if you put your marriage on autopilot, you should be prepared to not really care where it goes.
What are your best pieces of marriage advice?