Because Sweet Husband and I will be celebrating our second anniversary this month and because I feel like I talk about our relationship quite a bit, I’ve decided that at least for the next little while, my posts on Thursdays will be about marriage – some of the issues we face, the things that work for us, articles, perspectives, posts that I find useful in helping us create a stronger bond. Feel free to share what is working for you in your relationship as we spend some time focused on marriage.
Our anniversary is very, very close now. In fact, as this post goes live, we’re going to be getting ready to head out for our second anniversary trip. We’ve got a fun-filled weekend ready for ourselves – just time for Sweet Husband and I to reconnect without worrying about our jobs or our furbabies or the house or anything. Just the two of us. It’s been awhile since we’ve been able to do that, and I think it’s one of those important things in a relationship – time for the two of you.
That is nicely reinforced by this article about how to strengthen your relationship. There are some great tips here, and I think that Sweet Husband and I – when we have more time together, which will hopefully happen very, very soon – can work on implementing them.
I personally particularly need to pay attention to this one:
Do the chores before they’re crucial
If you notice the plates stacking up in the sink, wash them before it becomes an issue. Don’t fuss about who’s doing more chores or place blame on the other person; instead, work on fostering a healthy, cooperative environment.
Yeah. I’ve ben a bit of a bear about this lately. Last week, I referenced the Pope and his belief that the six most important words in a marriage are “I’m Sorry, May I, and Thank You.” I have difficulty with “I’m Sorry” (and “may I”, if I’m being honest) because they are tied to ego. I have difficulty with doing things like cleaning up messes I didn’t make because of ego as well.
The internal monologue goes something like, “I don’t even live here during the week, and I bet these tacquito crumbs have been on the stove for 3 days so why should I have to clean them up when it would take him 2 seconds to do it when it’s fresh and it’s going to take me much longer than that now.” Well. It’s bothering me. So if it’s bothering me, then perhaps I just need to take care of it. Although this post from Yes and Yes isn’t about marriage, it applies: do I want to be happy or do I want to be right? Yes, Sweet Husband should clean up after himself, but sometimes it’s easier to just take care of it and have the discussion later. Point taken.
The other one that I’ve been neglecting a bit lately is a doozy (in my mind):
Take pride in yourself
No one wants to be with someone who’s insecure and unsure of herself. Do the things that make you feel good, whether that’s a pedicure or a trip to the gym.
It’s easy to let some things go because let’s face it: I see my husband a couple of days a week. I didn’t have my hair colored for almost 6 months. Not really because we couldn’t afford it (only partially true – at the beginning we needed to save the money but after say December, we could have easily done it) but because I was in a place where I didn’t care. I’d kind of gotten to the same point with wearing make-up (although I remain a minimalist girl at heart there). Now I just need to get back into a routine with the rest of the personal grooming and step it up on the health and fitness piece. I think I have the confidence down. But I could use to take a little more care with my personal appearance. Not just for Sweet Husband – he thinks I’m the hottest thing around even when I’m 2 days without a shower – but especially for me.
What are some of the ways in which you are strengthening your marriage? What little (and big!) things are you doing to keep your bond tight and your love growing? Let me know in the comments!