I’ve been meaning to participate in the Scintilla Project but somehow my life got away from me during the last week which means while I’ve probably had time to write, I haven’t had the mental energy to actually get that writing done.
So. Today’s prompt, which is kind of difficult for me to write. Perhaps because I’m still worn out or perhaps because it seems like my family history is pretty straight-forward & I can’t quite remember any “ah-ha!” moments. It at least not that I can write about.
Those that went before us have walked paths that we may never fully understand. Talk about a time when you learned something important about your family history.
I’m not sure that there’s much important about my family history. We’re pretty non-descript mid-western folks. For the most part.
I guess the important thing I’ve learned about us is that on both sides of the family tree, there are a few squirrels. And it’s not like I learned that all at once; it was an on-going recognition that we have some characters and that maybe those characters aren’t entirely due to chance. Maybe it’s something deep inside us.
We are alcoholics. We are bi-polar. We are schizophrenic.
& that explains a lot. It makes me pause when I’m making a cocktail after I get home from work. It’s reassuring when I get a little tied in knots about things…which I know…odd, right? How is that reassuring? Well. It means there could be an explanation for why I’m doing what I’m doing and if there’s an explanation, that means its treatable. Right? I don’t have to worry about what *could* be wrong with me; I already have a pretty good idea.
That knowledge has always been difficult when considering having children. What exactly am I passing on to my faceless progeny? What fate am I casting for them? But as I get older I think life is what we decide to make of it moreso than the cards we are dealt. Some members of my family have been able to cope and overcome. Others…not so much. But those are decisions each of us have made. Our genes and our past don’t have to be our future. We can work with and against rather than giving in. If we want something different bad enough.
& I think I do.