Today’s prompt is courtesy of a twitter search for reverb12 because I needed some inspiration for the two posts that I need to write in order to be up-to-date. Thanks to that’s mrs. mediocrity to you for today’s thinking.
Reverb 12/Cultivate 2012:
How can you nurture a healthy, loving relationship with your partner?
One of the ways we nurture our relationship is by going to concerts. It’s not often that it’s a show that both of us want to see (to be honest it’s usually me who wants to go), but it’s live music. How do you pass that up? We have a friend who gets us free tickets to shows at the Hard Rock, and it’s a cheap date for us. We have a few drinks, we spend a couple of hours listening to music, sharing memories about songs or performances, marveling at how we didn’t expect it to be this good, and then heading off to Whataburger for a late dinner. Those are good times, and I’m looking forward to a few more of those (The Guess Who, Jamey Johnson, and Foghat with Blue Oyster Cult in January. Hopefully. Possibly!) because they are such a good time for us.
But, with that said, the easiest way for me to nurture a healthier and more loving relationship with my partner is to find time to spend with him. I keep coming back to this idea of needing balance in my life, and that is happening for a reason. Like he told my boss when he picked me up the other evening, “‘Y’all are working my wife too hard.” I spend a ton of time at work. I spend a ton of time being stressed out about work. It is hard to cultivate a relationship when you aren’t there to do so.
In the new year, I’d like to get back to doing our daily devotional. I don’t believe in God so the Bible verses and the pieces of it that relate directly to Christianity have no applicability to me. However, the devotional itself, the conversation that results from it is important. It forces us to think about our relationship, how we behave within it, what we need from it, and how we treat our partner, which is critically important.
They say that if you want to know what a person values, then see where they spend their time. I think that if someone were to examine where I spend my time, you wouldn’t know that my marriage is a priority to me. I’ve spent so much time at work. It is difficult to know how to find balance when you are worried about paying your bills or having a roof over your head. Drawing boundaries is difficult when there is so much to do, things that are critically important. It is also hard to stop and say, “I’m going home to spend time with my husband” when you know that the people you work with are still going to be at your work, picking up your slack.
But my relationship is important, and that means that I have to start setting those boundaries. I have to start carving out time for my husband.
My husband would say that part of nurturing our relationship has to include making more time for physical intimacy. That is difficult when you are literally exhausted when you get home from work. I know that physical intimacy is important in a relationship. I miss it. So that means we will have to figure out how to make it a priority for us, and for me, it really comes back to the devotional – knowing that his love language is physical touch. If I know that, then I have to express love to him in a way that how he prefers.
Part of our problem is that we have different schedules. I’m up before he is; he’s in bed before I am. I think part of the problem is our lack of physical activity. Moving our bodies around can be difficult. A walk together in the evenings (if I get home in time) would serve a dual purpose. We could spend time together – discussing our days, making plans, seeing where we might be heading – and we could be working on our health, improving our lives and relationships in more ways than one. That’s important to me.
But really. Just time. We need more time.