My birthday is this week. The 38th year of my life is beginning. I’m OK with that. Today at work we were talking about “hard birthdays”. I don’t know that I’ve had one of those. Or maybe I have. I can’t remember. Life is moved too quickly for me to be sure. When I was thinking about it this weekend, I kind of felt like this year might be a hard birthday. While there is certainly so very much good in my life and I am incredibly grateful for all of it, there are things that are not quite the way I would like them to be. I don’t know how those things are going to play out, and that causes me quite a bit of angst. I’m trying to be OK with just going with the flow and trusting that things will work out the way that they are supposed to.
I haven’t gotten the chance to dive into The Desire Map the way that I want to (perhaps I’ll do some reading as soon as I finish this post), but as I think about the way I want to feel in the coming year, this is what I’ve got:
- Connected (there’s that word again)
I am not exactly sure how I make those feelings happen. There are a few things that help…the habits that I’ve been establishing in the last two months can help with a lot of those feelings. But getting the bigger things…I’m not quite sure how I get there. I suppose if I read, I might know a little more how that happens.
In the meantime, I know that there are a few things that I need to do in order to begin this year peacefully.
I need to declutter. There are so many things that I’ve been hanging on to for so long for unknown reasons. The easiest places to start are in the linen closets. There are a ton of mismatched and worn-out sheets and pillow cases (not to mention old, stained pillows) that need to be gotten rid of. Donated where possible, thrown out where not. Old towels. Rags. And from there, there are boxes of books that will never be read again. I culled a ton of them five years ago when I moved to Kentucky. It’s time to get rid of more. Movies that will never be watched. Clothes that won’t ever be worn again. So many things that do not serve me, so many things that need to find new homes.
And that is the first step.
How do you want to want to feel? And how do you plan to get there?