This has been a Monday. Mondays are always difficult, and when you are a teacher, they are particularly difficult after you come back from a break. Students are surly and unhappy (usually) to be back. Teachers are tired because they’ve gotten out of their routine. You’re out of practice, even after just a few days, and getting back into the swing of things makes you feel rusty and inadequate.
Today was one of those Mondays.
It didn’t help that I left things like my medication at home on the Coast, and thus instead of staying in Hattiesburg this evening, I had to make the hour drive back home. That means that tomorrow will be another very long day for me, although getting to be home another night with Sweet Husband makes the drive worth it. Tonight. I’m not sure about the drive tomorrow morning, though.
With the struggle today, it’s not surprising to me that I was struggling to come up with something to write about this evening. I’m participating in Monday Blogs, which put more pressure on finding something to write about. While browsing some of the other Monday Blogs, I came across this prompt from Poetry Heals.
I do not at all consider myself to be a poet, so I won’t be giving you a poem this evening. But I can think about beginning again.
I have at various points in my life needed a milestone date for a reset, a time to begin again. New Year’s. The first of a month. Monday. My birthday. A new school year. But the truth of the matter is that I can push the reset button and start all over again. When my students are terrible, and I know that there are things I can do differently, I can work on that the very next class. When I don’t take my medication, or I forget to meditate, or don’t practice self-care in the most enlightened way, I can start over. I don’t have to let it be a huge slide into nothingness that derails me for a week or longer at a time.
The most important part of it is that I just make that decision. I can get out of my own way by simply deciding that I can be better, I can do it differently. In spite of the difficulties of today, there were good things. I got up and wrote. I meditated this morning. I made it to work on time. Those are all things on which I can build tomorrow. And tomorrow, I’ll remember to pack my medication so I can take it when I’m supposed to. I won’t be spending 2 hours on the road, which will leave me time to go for a walk and to perhaps carry my camera with me.
There is a trite quote about it’s not how many times you fall, it’s how many times you get up that counts, and that’s true. Today is done. I can’t change it. I can, though, take a look at what worked today and what didn’t and make a better plan for tomorrow. I can begin again.
You can too. In what ways are you beginning again?