My Word for the Year for 2015 is Home. My picture for 2015 is that it is all about home – getting home, finding out where my home is, taking advantage of opportunities that get me home, creating a welcoming and inviting space for not only us but our friends and family as well. I feel like this is the year that everything comes together for Sweet Husband and I to be “home,” so when I saw this prompt from Kat Bouska, I knew what I was going to write.
“The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned” ~ Maya Angelou -Now write.
I was excited when I saw this prompt Tuesday morning, and when I wrote my morning pages, I started drafting then. I knew I was going to make the trip home Wednesday night because SH and I were going to have a date night consisting of a trip to Slidell for PowerBall tickets and daiquiris. I knew what I was going to say about how my home is with SH – traveling together, on this adventure together – creating an extended metaphor. I made a list of shots I wanted to take because I planned to turn the post into an excuse to practice my iPhone photography skills. It was going to be an incredible thing of beauty.
There were going to be photos of my front door (that still has our Christmas wreath hanging on it), and photos of the front porch which is the perfect, perfect, perfect place for lounging. More photos of the Desserts, curled up and relaxed. A picture of this house my Sweet Husband spent the day cleaning. Feet on the dashboard as we made our way to Slidell; our tickets splayed out on the center console; a shot of our daiquiri cups. Maybe a shot of us holding hands.
But none of that happened because on my way home Wednesday afternoon, I was in a car accident.
I’ve said that it wasn’t scary when it was happening. I knew I’d been hit; I knew we were going off the edge of the road. I did not think the Jeep was going to flip. I thought she was going to roll forward before I was able to get her to stop – perhaps being stopped by one of the trees in that ditch. I don’t even remember Josie flipping.
Everything was scary when I realized I was upside down. My seatbelt held (not bad for being 23 years old), and it wouldn’t release. That was a little scary at that moment. I wasn’t sure where I was, and I couldn’t get out. But within a few minutes, I was free and trying to piece together what had happened. I called my father-in-law, crying and shaking because I knew I couldn’t call my husband and be coherent, and because my father-in-law handles these things for a living. Dad and Mom sprung into action, and everyone was so kind. SH’s mom called him to let him know what had happened, and he and the puppies made their way north.
And while I was waiting for the police and family to arrive, waiting at the hospital, wondering what was going on, dealing with the pain, I realized that whether I was home on the Coast or home with the Parents, I’d found my home. I had been looking for a home and a family for a really long time, and when I met SH’s mom all those years ago, I found my home. Long before we got married, or even started dating, SH’s family was my family and my home.
As much as I want to be home on the Coast with my SH on a full-time basis, I know that home isn’t a physical space. It’s a whole lot more than that. I searched for it for a long time, and I would have never in a million years thought that this place is where my home would be, but it is. And I couldn’t be more grateful.