I am participating in Kat McNally’s April Moon, a two week reflective writing challenge. Each day, Kat sends an email with a single word prompt to spark some time during the powerful time between the total lunar eclipse and the full moon. Participate with us!
The third prompt in the challenge is
What feelings does this word evoke? What sorts of memories does it recall? Which of your senses start to tingle? How would you represent what this word means to you?
Wonderful that this prompt comes up today, when I’m working so very hard to get home. On that note, I completed the first step of a process that I hope will have me working from home full time starting in June. I’ve put a job like this on my Mondo Beyond list for years. I’ve been hoping for an opportunity like this. I’ve written about it in my journal. It’s been my nightly meditation and my morning prayer. And now. It’s here. I hope that in the next few weeks things go from the first steps to finalized steps.
Because I am ready to be home.
Since I lost my job at the end of August and was hired at this new place at the end of September, Sweet Husband and I have had a commuter marriage. Granted the distance isn’t terrible, and I know that people endure greater distances and hardships all the time. Particularly in this part of the world where many people work in the oil fields and are gone for two or three weeks at a time. But Sweet Husband and I were a long distance relationship for 3 years, and I really thought that when I came home to Mississippi, we would be together. As it is, I go home on the weekends, and I try to make it home one night during the week.
That night during the week is killer though. I get to sleep in my own bed, surrounded by my things, the puppies, and Sweet Husband. The trade-off, though, is that I have to drag my sorry self out of bed at 3:00 in the morning so I can make the drive and be at work on time the next day. Some weeks I just don’t have it in me to make that effort. Teaching is exhausting work, and sometimes I need to sleep.
I am so looking forward to being able to be home – to only making the drive when I want to come north to visit and not because I’m going to be separated from my family.
It’s a big deal for me because for the longest time I really had no conception of home. I’ve moved around a lot, and my family of origin is a bit on the…fractured…side. I have called a lot of places “home” but not in the sense of the place where my heart resides. Rather they were places to rest my head. There were people in those place that I loved (and still love) dearly, but any of them I could (and have) leave easily. There was nothing truly holding me in any of those places.
Now, though, I’m home. I was home before I left here in 2008. It’s comfortable and welcoming and inviting. I don’t really know how to describe it, except to say that my heart knew it when I found it. I would have never in a million years thought Mississippi would be the place, but wonder of wonders…it is. Funny enough, I think, that wherever I went, as long as I was with Sweet Husband, I’d be home.
It’s very strange and a little odd to be in such an incredibly different place after having wandered for so very long. I’m not complaining mind you; I’m perfectly happy right where I am. I’m just ready to truly be home again.