I am participating in Kat McNally’s April Moon, a two week reflective writing challenge. Each day, Kat sends an email with a single word prompt to spark some time during the powerful time between the total lunar eclipse and the full moon. Participate with us!
The prompt for day 5 is
What feelings does this word evoke? What sorts of memories does it recall? Which of your senses start to tingle? How would you represent what this word means to you?
I almost feel like the word focus is a bludgeon – we (I) use it when people are off task, when we want them to be doing the right thing, when we want ourselves to be doing the right things or at least the things that we think we ought to be doing rather than the things that we are in fact doing. “I just need to focus.” True enough most of the time I probably do just need to focus but there is generally some terribly negative self-talk that is going on when I’m beating up on myself for following whatever flight of fancy strikes my interest (hello bloglovin’ and all those wonderful blogs out there to read).
It seems that the more time I spend out of focus the harder it is to get back into focus and there is this awful exchange of momentary enjoyment – whatever bright, shiny object has caught my attention (my god am I really just a magpie? My mother knew it!) – for my long-term goals and enjoyment.
I suppose the parallel exists in my attempts to get better at my photography. I’m learning to shoot in manual and while I think I might have my settings down pat, the part that is deviling me right now is focusing. I want to choose my focus point and I’m having a hell of a time doing that. I thought I had it figured out but no. I don’t. Or maybe I do now. I don’t know.
I do know that yesterday I spent an inordinate amount of time on my knees or on my belly at Chalmette Battlefield and National Cemetery trying to get it right, frustrated because it wasn’t working, angry that I was in the mud and the muck (it rained yesterday morning in our part of the world), getting my clothes and my self dirty on the first stops of our trip before we even made it to New Orleans proper for pictures that probably wouldn’t turn out anyway.
Gah, photography IS a metaphor for life, isn’t it? *sigh* I suppose the real trick is to figure out how to stay in focus, get back in focus, and not be too hard on yourself when you’re off the rails. I’m working on it. You?
*I apologize for a lack of links. WordPress is not cooperating on my phone and it is making me inordinately cranky this morning. Perhaps a Bloody Mary will help.