I am participating in Kat McNally’s April Moon, a two week reflective writing challenge. Each day, Kat sends an email with a single word prompt to spark some time during the powerful time between the total lunar eclipse and the full moon. Participate with us!
The first prompt is
What feelings does this word evoke? What sorts of memories does it recall? Which of your senses start to tingle? How would you represent what this word means to you?
It is perhaps paradoxical, but the first thing that the word “courage” evokes is fear. I’m not sure what’s going on right this minute, but it’s like heart-pounding, gut-churning fear.
I’ve talked quite a bit about how I believe myself to essentially be a fearful person. In fact, I think I’ve typed these exact words before: Sometimes I’m amazed that I manage to get out of bed in the morning instead of dissolving into a quivering puddle of fear.
I think I know exactly where the fear comes for, but there are things that are scarred over enough to not need to slice them open again. This whole life of mine, though, feels like I’m learning to put that behind me, to overcome, to move forward. Putting it all behind me.
I suppose that courage is really about actually getting up and hauling yourself out of bed rather than hiding under the cover. Courage is about much more than the big, grand showy gestures that people say are courageous – moving across the country by yourself, traveling alone.
Maybe it all boils down to trust – courage is a matter of trust. That if you do get out of bed, if you do put yourself out there, it’s generally going to be OK. There might be a bump here or one there, but in the end, it’s all going to be OK.