October 2006
October 31, 2006
Then it took an hour and a half to get through the strep test and consultation. Good grief. I sat in the examine room by myself for an hour. They gave me a shot. Total at the doctor's office? $171. Then it was off to the doc for my prescriptions. Three scripts. $110. The antibiotic was $85. Are you kidding me? How do people afford to be well? How do people afford to be sick? It's mind-boggling to me. I had insurance and until I spend $450 on my healthcare, I don't get a break on the cost. Good grief.
I'm tired. I need to go back to bed. I think my fever is trying to come back. Ughhh.
October 28, 2006, pt 2
I think I am getting sick, which is probably fitting. My throat is killing me and I know that it's all about my sinuses draining. If I were smart, I probably wouldn't be sleeping under a fan with the heat off tonight, but I don't think I'm that smart.
I've been watching Grey's Anatomy this evening. I am through Season One and am working through Season Two. I have an extra hour of sleep but I may just watch tv. Be wild and crazy.
I've been drinking peach vodka this evening. I mixed it with lemonade first and that tasted a whole lot like grapefruit juice. Then I mixed it with white cranberry/peach juice and tonic mixer. That was better.
Came across this article about how polarized we are as a nation and that we are not talking about politics anymore. It's a strange thing. Out at Beth's on Thursday the HB and his dad were having a debate about something (I can't even remember what about now), and I didn't get involved. I'm not sure whether that was because I couldn't get a word in edgewise anyway or if it was because I didn't want to offend people I care about it. On a personal scale that might be OK, but on a national scale, I wonder how many conversations aren't happening because we just don't want to go there.
I bought a new, rather sickly plant at Wal-Mart this afternoon. It's like one that I have in the bedroom, except it's not as healthy. It's bigger than the one I have, and hopefully I won't kill it. I should probably bring most of the plants in off of the porch. Put them in the spare room so that my babies don't dig them up.
I think I'm going to have a brownie with Fudge Tracks ice cream topped with magic shell. Thank you PMS.
Somehow it got to be midnight and I don't know how that happened.
I was supposed to have a date with twins tonight, but it's been an awful afternoon. I went to bed instead. Perhaps should have gone with the twins.
I'm not sure how things go so wrong and where they go so awfully off the rails, but the ox is in the ditch and something has to be done. I can no longer put off the inevitable.
I have to wonder how people can be so mean and ugly. What lessons do we pass on to our children when we do such things? And do we even care as long as we accomplish our goals?
It is difficult to not be extraordinarily bleak about what's going on right now, and I know that I need to not internalize this. It's difficult to let go of, though. That's actually one of the things that my horrible reading said that was of value, but really had nothing to do with my cards. She said something along the lines of don't take things personally...it's not always about me and it's frequently about them.
Nelly Furtado needs to ditch the heavy bangs. Not a good look for her. I find her whole new direction in music to be interesting. I suppose that if that's what it takes to sell records, then that's what it takes to sell records. I'm not sure that I like it.
I really should proof-read I think, but since I don't, you have to figure out what it was that I meant.
I think I'm getting ready to go to bed. I so didn't want to get out of bed this morning.
I feel like I've been eating all day. That's the way I know that I've hit PMS. I am always starving for about a week.
I think it's time to make some cioppino. Maybe next weeekend. I found a recipe online that would be excellent I think.
Yesterday morning while waiting for the car, the Today Show had a piece about Iguanas in Florida and how they’re praying for an extended cold snap. It was the spark of a story idea. I’m not a fiction writer. It has never appealed to me. Non-fiction work, expository writing, etc are all much more my bag. (Poetry not really my thing either) I did write down the idea, though…not that I’ll ever do anything with it.
Imagine that you live in a south Florida town, and one misty morning you step out of the front door, shortly to grab the paper out of the shell-lined driveway, when you notice an iguana sitting on the rail of your porch. He’s twitching and occasionally his (is it a he? How do you know) tongue pokes out of his mouth and slithers up over his nose to his eyeball, quickly sliding back into his mouth. You might think it’s kind of endearing…if you think anything about it at all. As the screen door bangs shut, the lizard is startled and skitters away.
You go about your life and don’t worry about the iguana, particularly as you don’t see him again. The following week, though, you notice that he’s back and the screen door doesn’t bother him. The day after he returns, he brings a couple of friends with him, and you think to yourself that it’s a little odd.
As time goes on, there are more and more iguanas not just on the porch but in the yard, on the back patio, lounging around the pool, eating your shrubbery and the leaves off the trees. It’s the same all over the neighborhood. When you go outside, you have to be careful because the lizards are bold and they like to flick you with their tongues. You’ve given up wearing sandals, shorts, and capris because a time or two, the lizards have actually bitten you just above the knot of bone at your ankle. You can’t send the kids out to play because the iguanas are everywhere.
They’re like an infestation of roaches, except you cannot just call the exterminator, and killing them isn’t as easy as stepping on them. Their skeletal system is a little more complex than that.
Finally the community has had it and a meeting gets called, to be held at the clubhouse near the pool and playground that have become unusuable. There are shrill and sharp voices, screeching that something must be done while mothers clutch their children in front of them. Men occasionally pound the tables with their clenched fists to demand some kind of action. Children stand with tears streaming down their faces.
Suddenly, out of the chaos, a calm, confident voice cuts through the confusion. He has a plan and offers salvation. The only problem becomes…are you willing to take it?
It's been a good day. Got the car taken care of early. Will have to put about $1200 into in the next 3-4 months (timing belt and tires), but I suppose that's the price I pay for as much as I drive.
The dentist appointment was very good. I was terrified that I was going to need a ton of work before I lose my dental insurance. The x-rays were good and showed no problems. The cleaning was good too. It was over in about 15 minutes. The doctor said that myteeth looked really good for someone who hadn't been to the dentist in two years and that it was nice to work on someone with good teeth. Whew. That was a relief.
To celebrate, I took myself to Hudson's to poke around the Macy's stock. Founded a Cal King heated mattress pad...for $20. Woo-hoo! I snatched it up and picked up a cheap sheet ($2.00) to cover that with. The chair in my living room is now super cozy. I need to keep my eye out for a chenille throw...or actually two. I think I'd have to rip a couple of seams in order to stitch the two together. The heated chair cover is perhaps the best idea I have ever stolen. Love, love, love it.
While waiting for the car this morning, I saw perhaps the finest male ass I've seen in quite some time. He was wearing some slightly loose jeans, and when he put his hands in his pockets, holy hell. Bee-you-tea-ful. It was just perfectly rounded and firm. A slight bubble to it. I couldn't help staring at it. *sigh* Wanted to reach out and touch it but it was so far away, and besides...I didn't think that would be well-received. It might have been, but I don't know about that.
I'm experiencing some awful PMS. I hate it when that happens. I think ice cream will make it better.
I haven't done my sub plans yet. Will have to do them tomorrow morning. I wasn't going to get to sleep in tomorrow morning anyway. I'm taking the car in to get the oil changed, tires rotated, etc. That has to be done nice and early.
Long day. The children would not be quiet. Good god. Just one minute of peace. I don't know what their problem was today.
It's cooler here. I may need to get the electric blanket out. What I actually think I need is a heated mattress pad. I could put it over the feather bed to keep the feathers from poking me. Or I could put it under the feather bed and get a cover for the feather bed so the feathers don't poke me. I need to get a heated mattress pad for the chair so I can make my heated cover for it.
I should have probably brought the plants in tonight. It's supposed to get down to like 39 tonight. It might be time to turn the heat on in the house, too, but it's not November, and I don't turn the heat on before November. Why bother living in the south if you have to turn the heat on before November?
I need to make some dinner, and then I think I'm going to bed. My head hurts, and I'm tired. When am I not tired?
I didn't go for a walk this afternoon, but I did rake the yard. I hate seeing the leaves on the ground. It's like leaving your socks on the floor. I leave my shoes by the front door, but my socks (if I wore them) always go in the hamper, and having the leaves on the ground is somehow untidy. So, I raked my side and I raked Jessica's side as well. It's kinda hard to just rake one half of the front yard, and since it wasn't really all that much more work to rake the other, no skin off my nose. I should probably go take a look at the back yard tomorrow.
Just applied for a job in Atlanta. We'll see.
So, I dinna think it's New Orleans for me. I drove over today, and if I were one to believe in signs and such, I'd say I had a boatload of them telling me that New Orleans is not the place I need to be right now.
I was OK driving over, but a bit on the anxious side. The anxiety kicked up about 200 notches when I hit the turn off for the French Quarter. I don't know what it was. Everything just felt wrong. Parked the car and wandered around as I am wont to do. Wasn't quite sure what I was doing or where I was going. Moved down towards the Tower Records which was going out of business. Looked around but the prices weren't good enough to actually buy something (20% off). Saw that I could get a furnished one bedroom condo at Jax Brewery for $650/month. Anxiety went away a bit.
Decided I was hungry and went to one of my more favorite places to eat. Decided to have a glass of wine with lunch instead of something fruity and slushy. Being a responsible grown up. Heart racing and anxiety back up. Ordered some gumbo and some red beans and rice. Contentedly eating my gumbo with crusty bread and writing. Feeling less anxious. There was an absent-minded professor type sitting across from me, as well as several other women by themselves.
The red beans and rice came out and I noticed something on the lip of the bowl that I just thought was some dried beans. Contentedly eating away...had a few bites, but the thing on the lip of the bowl bothered me. Pulled the bowl closer, wheeled it around, and discovered that no, it wasn't dried beans. It was a dried, dead baby roach. *sigh* I didn't make a scene, just called the waiter over. He apologized profusely and took the bowl away, asking me if I wanted anything else. I told him I wasn't really hungry anymore. The manager then came out and apologized profusely, telling me that anything else on the menu I wanted, I could have and that my meal was on the house. She also tried to explain. I told her that I understood...living in MS and all. I understand it's hard to keep roaches away from foodstuffs (god do I understand). I just would rather not be reminded of it in such a tangible manner. You know?
Anxiety level back up.
Wandered around some more. Had a really shitty reading that I'll write about tomorrow.
Didn't start feeling better until I hit the MS state line, and then I was just sad. I think I'm still going to submit my application, but I don't think that I'm going to hang my hopes on it.
It was good, though, to see that New Orleans is slowly coming back, and not just the area in the French Quarter. Coming into town from Slidell, there are more businesses open and there are more people around the neighborhoods. It's still very, very ghost-like, though, and I wonder how long it's going to take before there's some semblance of normalcy.
Speaking of New Orleans...did y'all hear about the murder-suicide there this week? Maybe that's what I was feeling when I was there. I don't know. Just icky
Or maybe it's the thought of what tomorrow will bring. I have a what may be a nasty parent conference in the morning, and I'm still waiting on a reply to my written response. I haven't done any school work this weekend because it's just too much to contemplate. I'll get up in the morning and take care of it.
It was a draining day. I came back to the house and took a nap. Was going to do some lesson planning and grade some papers (check off really), but decided that I didn't need to do that. I'll do it tomorrow.
Peach just about ripped my nipple off when she decided to vault over me and onto the back of the chair. Her claws caught me just right. Good grief. *Sigh*
It's actually the 22, but I haven't gone to bed yet so we'll consider it the 21. I was supposed to go to New Orleans today, but I decided not to. The weather was supposed to be horrid. It's been raining here since about 7:30 this evening.
I've been watching season one of Grey's Anatomy. I find the fades in and out for what should be commercials to be a bit on the annoying side, but I suppose that's the price you pay.
Went out to Beth's this evening. I made carnitas on Friday and took them out. We drank margaritas and talked. And she gave me Will's Ipod Shuffle. It was finally discovered in a desk drawer. I've been installing it forever this evening. Actually the installing part was easy. The getting my files from Windows Media into Itunes is taking absolutely forever. The Shuffle holds about 120 songs. I have about twice that many in Media player and that's not even the beginning of my collection of music.
I should go to bed. But then again I need to finish the laundry. If I want to go to New Orleans tomorrow then I need to have most of my stuff done.
It has been a shitty day. I don't know that I necessarily want to go into detail about how shitty it was, but rest assured, it was a shitty, shitty day.
It's after 9:00 at night, and I still haven't eaten. I went and picked up a sandwich from McAlister's, but I haven't even thought about eating it yet. This whole job thing is very, very stressful.
I need to go to bed. That's it. Just go to bed. Tomorrow will be better. I almost said that it can't be any worse, but then I realized that it most certainly could be.
I feel really good about this decision to apply in New Orleans. I was thinking about it this morning and just felt peaceful. Talked with Allison (neighbor's girlfriend) just now and was kinda excited about it.
I spent an hour or so filling out my civil service application. It says to list every job you've ever had, so I did. It was hard to remember so of that stuff. I don't know how accurate it is, but that's what they're getting from me. I'll do my cover letter tomorrow afternoon/night.
I don't remember if I already said this or not, but I think I'm going to go over to New Orleans on Saturday just to wander around and get a feel for the place, see what I see. So to speak.
Today was an awful day at work, and I figure that tomorrow will be worse. Tomorrow the report cards go home, and I'm sure there will be some upset folks. At this point, I don't really care much, and that's a sad, sad situation. I have very few F's, but lots of Ds and lots of folks with Cs who probably have never had a C. The grading scale here is different than what I'm used to. F starts at 70. I went through and did a whole bunch of fudging last night and this morning, basically giving everyone credit for their homework. The grade is determined almost solely by the test scores. (I know...I shouldn't have changed things, but at the same time...grades are pretty arbitrary to begin with so eh)
I know that I'm going to get an earful from one parent who has already given me an earful. Her daughter failed reading. She made up all of the homework, but it was her test scores that put her at a 68.82. I did everything I could to get that grade to a 70, but I can only do so much. The girl has a 2.4 reading level. No freakin' wonder she failed reading. We're in sixth grade. She has a 2.4 reading level. What am I supposed to do with that? And I think that's what I'm going to tell her mother. How do I help her when she's four years behind?
I'm supposed to be doing my remediation folders. I'll do those when I get up in the morning. Too much to think/worry about right now.
Exhausted. Going to bed.
OK...I have decided that I'm going to apply in New Orleans. I can't put my stuff together until tomorrow night/Thursday.
Have finally started grading papers. Good thing because grades need to be in by tomorrow morning. Am not done yet, but will finish in the morning. Math tests suck. Will need to do a bit of mathematical magic, and that's fine with me.
So tired. Got up way too early because of that freakin' storm. Possibility of more tomorrow. Yuck.
More tomorrow. Must go to bed now.
Once again, I am not grading papers. Talk about sabotage. Good grief.
So tired.
Made an appointment to get my teeth looked at. Will have to take an afternoon off. Need to call and see about a doctor's appointment for that morning. If I'm going to be taking time off for such things, may as well do the whole shebang, eh?
Trying to think of what I did today. Not a whole lot, I don't think.
Is it possible to love a thing, do you think? Not a person...or a fur-face...but a thing? I can say that I love a cd (and I particularly dig the new Blue October cd), but is it really love? Do we cheapen what the word love means when we apply it to things that aren't really about love?
Or do we even really know what it means to love? I begin to think that I'm pretty clueless when it comes to love. I suppose that might be due to the fact that I haven't been in love for so darn long. (My horoscope said this was going to be a stellar month for love. Hasn't happened yet. I've gone out. I've put myself out there. Nothing)
Anyone switched over to the compact flourescent bulbs yet? I bought a box of 6 of them for $10 last night. I'll be taking those puppies with me when I move out of this place. I figure I'll replace bulbs as they old ones burn out. So far, I've used three of my bulbs. Maybe there will be a savings on my power bill.
Anyway. I need to grade papers. Have a class of wine. Something. Anything.
October 17,2006 4:31 am
So...I woke up at 3:00 because of the thunder and lightning. I swear lightning hit right outside of the window and lit up the entire neighborhood. Thunder shook the house. Not that it takes much to shake the house. Tornado warnings and watches. I would really like for school to be canceled. I don't want to deal with children and a tornado warning.
I don't want to go to work tomorrow. :( I was supposed to grade papers today, but I slept instead. Had intended to just take a little nap, but the Peach and I curled up in my wonderfully luxurious bed with the new featherbed on top, and slept for about four hours. *sigh* We didn't mean to sleep that long, but that's how it worked out. And now...I don't want to go to work. My head and stomach hurt.
I got a Hudson's steal yesterday when coming home from Birmingham. Y'all know that I have been wanting a featherbed for awhile now but I haven't found a price I'm willing to pay. Well...I found the price yesterday. Got a Charter Club featherbed for $20. Originally $180. Sweet! And my bed is super comfy. All I need now is a cashmere blanket and a man and the bed is complete.
I almost forgot to pay my car insurance. *sigh* It's down to $499 for a 6-month period. I suppose that's not bad. $80/month for full coverage?
I so totally should be in bed. But I'm not. I don't, don't want to go to work tomorrow.
(can you see me trying to talk myself into calling in to work? I think I might do that Tuesday)
I have to call New Orleans tomorrow. And there's a position at Pine Belt for a data analyst. Not what I think I want to, but it's there, and I need a job.
I did my grocery shopping this morning bright and early at Wal-Mart. They didn't have the tiolet paper that I'm used to, so I didn't buy that. I take that back...they had it in the 12 pack, but I didn't want to buy a 12 pack. I could have bought some Charmin, but I refuse to buy Charmin because of the bears in the woods commerical. Then the stupid woman who was checking me out mispriced my oranges. They range up as Tangelos, which were about $0.25 more each than the navel organges. When I brought it to her attention, she said that she had to charge me what rang up. I didn't say anything then, but when I got out to the car, I checked again and decided I had to go in and say something. The idiot had typed in the wrong code. She was too busy talking to the cashier next to her about the state of her nails to take a minute to check.
That could be a rant of mine...poor customer service. I wanted to scream while I was waiting in line, "Shut up and do your job. None of us here care when you get off or what you did last night. What we care about is that you do your job quickly and accurately." Jesus Christ.
I bought a new answer tone for my phone. There were all sorts of possible choices (I almost went with Billie Jean just for Shan), but in the end, I went with makes me happy. Strange because I don't listen to my answer tones. You do. Hmmmmmm...
I have to call the landlord tomorrow to talk to them about sending someone out to check for leaks. My water bill was higher this last month, as was the neighbor's. That means there's a leak somewhere. I think. I should probably check my gas bill to make sure it's not there.
The weather here is supposed to be awful the next couple of days. That's not good. Maybe it will storm bad enough to cancel school. I doubt that, but I suppose that hope springs eternal, eh?
OK...it's after midnight. I have to go to bed. *sigh*
So, I've decided that I'll stay if they hire me to be their psychometrician. Which I don't think there's a hope in hell of happening. But that's what I've decided. They seriously need help in that department. Good freakin' lord.
I'm tired. So tired.
Went to register the car today. Told them that I live at Beth's and they knocked $120 off the price. It only cost me $170 to register my six year old car. Can you believe that crap?
I can't believe that McDreamy is walking away. Like he's going to actually stay away, though. He's feeling guilty right now. He'll change his mind. I like Finn, but it's Meredith and McDreamy that should be together. I can't believe that Callie is going off with McSteamy. Ohmigod. I love this show.
Anyway, I'm going to bed. There was something else I was going to say tonight, but I'm too tired to remember.
Clarity is a beautiful thing. It's amazing what happens when you make a choice. I am finished. I'm tired of hating my job, so I've made a decision. It's made all the difference. I don't want to say a whole lot about it because who knows who is reading, but suffice to say, I'm comfortable with my decision. Now I just need to find another job.
I don't think that there's a whole lot else to say right now. Very tired. Of course have not been sleeping. Sucks all the way around. Trying to decide if I want to have something for dinner since I haven't really had dinner tonight. Think I might make some chicken salad and a sandwich. I know it's late, but...
Haven't seen any little roaches in the last week or so. I'm hoping that since the little traps are out and since I sprayed, I won't have any more problems. Gross. Just gross.
That Stupid little one is standing at attention by the doorway to the kitchen. She's peering into the kitchen, and now I guess she's getting ready to pounce on her big sister. They were kicking each other's asses last night. It's always funny to watch them get after each other.
I'm tired. Going to bed now.
I'm back safe at home. Had a great time. I didn't get as much work done that I should have. It was about all I could do look at the leaves, gaze across the water, and avoid the skunks. I stayed at skunk hollow. I didn't know that when I registered. Certainly saw them a little later in the evenings, though. I jumped in the car when I was afraid they were getting a little too close. Wouldn't that have just been great if I'd gotten myself sprayed way out in the middle of nowhere? *sigh*
Surrounded by lots of men with guns as it was the beginning of the gun hunting season in the LBL. The trees weren't quite at their peak...that will happen in a few more weeks, but it was lovely. I did some writing and some thinking.
I need to go to bed so I can get up and do some work. *sigh*
OK, so I didn't get my grades done tonight. I did get my sub plans written and I have a ton of stuff done and ready to go for when I'm gone on Friday.
Also went to the store and picked up some of the stuff I'm going to need this weekend when I'm gone. It's gonna be cold this weekend. At least at night. Friday night in the Land Between the Lakes, it looks like it's going to be in the 40s. Brrrrr. (as a point of reference...it's been in the 90s here this week. ROASTING) I'm going to have to stop and buy a bundle of firewood on my way up. I bought several little fire starter things. I think I know how to start a fire, but I don't want to get there and be stuck. I also bought stuff to make Smores. *grin*
Speaking of which...just as I'm getting ready to head into the wilderness, my period is going to start. Good deal. *sigh*
My babies are hanging close. I've cleaned up the house, but that's the only indication that I'm going anywhere. One is at my shoulder and the other is at my feet. Sweet girls.
At 10:30 at night, it's 81 degrees. Good grief.
Beth wants me to come out tomorrow night so she can see me before I leave. Both she and Mark do not want me to head out by myself. She said that I could camp in the woods behind her house and no one would even know I was there. *grin* She also offered to let me take George with me. When I told her that while being in the woods at her place would certainly be away from everything it wouldn't have the beautiful fall colors. She said we could spray paint the trees if I really wanted color. I'm gonna be OK. I have no fears or worries.
Good freakin' lord, is it October already? How did this happen?? I suppose the good news is that I'm almost a quarter of the teaching year is done. Only 3/4s of it to go. *sigh*
Sorry I haven't updated lately. Had a great time in Birmingham. Drank a ton and stayed up way too late. Did some shopping. The Bonnie Raitt/Keb' Mo' show as awesome. I'd like to go back to that venue on November 1 to see Def Leppard and Journey, but I'm going on a little trip later that week, so that's not going to happen. Plus it might be a little chilly for an amphitheater show in November. It was down in the low 60s-upper 50s.
Work still sucks. Today we got notice that we're supposed to alphabetize "our" cum files in the office. WTF? Is there not a secretary or parent volunteer or someone for that? I'm a freakin' teacher. You want me to be remediating students on my prep and sometime in there I'm supposed to be planning to teach. When do I have freakin' time to alphabetize files?
There's more to that, but I don't know how to put it together. I'm a little frustrated about my trip this weekend. *sigh* Long story short.
Got to talk to Linda for a little while tonight! Surprise phone calls are always so nice. Just when you're thinking about folks and feeling a little lonely, there's a bright spot in the evening.
Anyway. I need to be grading papers. The end of the quarter is next week. *sigh*
This morning when I walked out to the car, a kitten was sitting right in front of my door. She looks exactly like my Peachy. She's one of the neighbor's strays. Poor little thing cried so pitifully when I was leaving. Think she must have been hungry. Remind me again that I am only allowed to have one cat at a time. *sigh*
Last Updated January 26, 2008
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