November 2011

November 28, 2011

Linked Wonders

Wonderful Images

Wonderous Writing

Teaching Wonders

Wonderful Cooking

Daily Wonderings

November 2011

November 28, 2011

Very Late Night Update

It's been a week. In more ways than one. It's been a week. I don't rightly know what to say about it all because there are people who read who don't really need to know the depths of it. To even kind of gloss over it would be hurtful in ways that I wouldn't want, so I suppose that I just say nothing. That's the best strategy, yes?

I've completed almost all of my Christmas shopping in one fell swoop. OK, perhaps not one fell swoop, but perhaps two or three. I really hadn't done any shopping before today, but now I'm almost done. I have to get birthday and Christmas pressies for Granny, something else for Matt's daddy, something for Cari's girls, and books for the babies that I know. Probably a little something else for Eric. Magazine subscription renewals. But everything else? Almost done.

I wish I could say as much for the wedding plans, but they are coming along too. We have all of the beads for bridesmaids' bouquets wired. I suppose that perhaps tomorrow afternoon I'll put them all together. I've finally found a picture that I like for centerpiece inspiration. I've got part of what I need to get it done. I just have to find the rest of it. Things I need to do now:

I need guitar picks so I can make boutonnieres.

I've got to start thinking about the design of the ceremony space. And the overall look of the reception.

I need to begin working with my fabulous TaTa for the actual ceremony.

Putting together playlists of music.

Getting the invitations ready to go.

Making hair accessories.

Putting together the activity bags for the little kids who will be attending the wedding.

Thinking about the menu.

Updating the wedding website.

Ordering my mini cheesecake pans (let me go do that right now to take advantage of cyber Monday sales).

Find awesome brooches for the moms, the grandmas, the officiant, and whoever else is going to need one that day.

Spray paint the records.

Remember to exercise and watch what it is that I'm putting in my mouth because I have a wedding to get ready for and I haven't been very pleased at all with the engagement photos that have been taken. Not because they aren't good pictures. They are. But because I've made unfortunate choices with regard to clothing and that's not good. Not good at all. Someone should have told me. *sigh*

I'm sure there's a bunch there that I'm leaving off the list.

Speaking of lists...I've got to get better at doing my to-do list. I put things on it, and then they rarely come off of it. That has to change. I've got to make it a priority. I know what happens. It's the same thing that always happens in my life. I don't do things because I'm afraid. It's one thing to get into a car and travel by yourself or move to a new city by yourself. It's another to do those things that lead up to those moments. Like the applications for jobs that have been on my list. Or all of those little things that make a huge difference in what it is that you get done with your life.

I need to go to bed. *sigh* Like now. Ugh.

November 20, 2011

Very Late Night Update

I've been meaning to write for quite some time, but there are always excuses for why I can't or why I haven't. The truth is that I have chosen not to. Like I've chosen not to participate in National Novel Writing Month when I was so gungho about doing it. It's all just too much. When the Penn State thing broke, there were a lot of things that came up for me, and there's still a bunch of writing that I want to do connected to it. I just can't right now. There is too much.

Lately I am paralyzed by anxiety. I've been having a massive anxiety attack for the last three days. I suppose I could be having a heart attack, but I really don't think that's it considering that the attack intensifies when I start thinking about money. So I'm going to do my best to not think about that. I keep telling myself that something will come up. There will be a job for me. I will land where I am supposed to. However that doesn't much help when my heart is pounding, and I feel like I can't breathe. That wouldn't be so bad if the medication that I have helped me. However, it doesn't. At the height of the worst attack, In the space of an hour and a half, I'd taken 2 xanax. Later that night, I took two Ativan. And nothing helped. It is an incredibly frustrating thing to know that you cannot help yourself.

It makes me wonder how I'm going to possibly handle the stress in the days that lead up to the wedding. We all know that I'm not good with stress period, and if I'm freaking out now, what am I going to do then? It's a good thing that Matt is so good with nutcases. I definitely have moments of lunacy. *sigh*

In other wedding related news, I think things are progressing nicely. We've created one registry. This coming week, we'll do the other two. I guess maybe we'll handle that Tuesday? We finally have someone to marry us! That was causing me a lot of stress as well. I've collected almost all of the records that I need. I need to now get a paint sprayer. The save-the-date cards have mostly gone out, although we still are missing a bunch of people. According to my guest list on The Knot, we have invited 142 people, although that doesn't include children. I think there are a bunch of people on Matt's side who we don't have addresses for. I suppose that's OK. They'll just show up. I think that between now and then, though, we'll some how manage to get ahold of all of the rest of them. Even if I have to get really bitchy about it.

I need to look at the checklist and figure out what else needs to happen next.

The first round of our engagement pictures happened today. The wife of one of Matt's friends took them at USM. I hope they turn out OK. I sorta saw one, and it looked alright. Matt said that he saw a couple of them and he said that they looked good. I hope so. We're supposed to have another round of pictures taken tomorrow, but I haven't heard from the photographer. I'd think that she'd send me a message or call today to make sure that we were good to go for tomorrow, but nothing. I guess I'm going to send her a message because I'm anal like that.

I suppose that other than wedding stuff, there are other questions about what's been going on lately. I spent a week in California with Amber and Nate. Got to visit with the Sner. Spent a few days with Shannon. It was good to be with my people for a little while, to focus on something and someone other than myself. This whole not working business gives me plenty of time to be narcissistic, and that's not good for me or anyone around me.

This coming week is Thanksgiving. I have much for which to be thankful. It will be outlined in full Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Something like that. Maybe.

Last Updated December 20, 2011

This page is the copyright property of Jen. Please direct any comments or questions to her by clicking on this email link.

Very Late Night Update

It's been a week. In more ways than one. It's been a week. I don't rightly know what to say about it all because there are people who read who don't really need to know the depths of it. To even kind of gloss over it would be hurtful in ways that I wouldn't want, so I suppose that I just say nothing. That's the best strategy, yes?

I've completed almost all of my Christmas shopping in one fell swoop. OK, perhaps not one fell swoop, but perhaps two or three. I really hadn't done any shopping before today, but now I'm almost done. I have to get birthday and Christmas pressies for Granny, something else for Matt's daddy, something for Cari's girls, and books for the babies that I know. Probably a little something else for Eric. Magazine subscription renewals. But everything else? Almost done.

I wish I could say as much for the wedding plans, but they are coming along too. We have all of the beads for bridesmaids' bouquets wired. I suppose that perhaps tomorrow afternoon I'll put them all together. I've finally found a picture that I like for centerpiece inspiration. I've got part of what I need to get it done. I just have to find the rest of it. Things I need to do now:

I need guitar picks so I can make boutonnieres.
I've got to start thinking about the design of the ceremony space. And the overall look of the reception.
I need to begin working with my fabulous TaTa for the actual ceremony.
Putting together playlists of music.
Getting the invitations ready to go.
Making hair accessories.
Putting together the activity bags for the little kids who will be attending the wedding.
Thinking about the menu.
Updating the wedding website.
Ordering my mini cheesecake pans (let me go do that right now to take advantage of cyber Monday sales).
Find awesome brooches for the moms, the grandmas, the officiant, and whoever else is going to need one that day.
Spray paint the records.
Remember to exercise and watch what it is that I'm putting in my mouth because I have a wedding to get ready for and I haven't been very pleased at all with the engagement photos that have been taken. Not because they aren't good pictures. They are. But because I've made unfortunate choices with regard to clothing and that's not good. Not good at all. Someone should have told me. *sigh*

I'm sure there's a bunch there that I'm leaving off the list.

Speaking of lists...I've got to get better at doing my to-do list. I put things on it, and then they rarely come off of it. That has to change. I've got to make it a priority. I know what happens. It's the same thing that always happens in my life. I don't do things because I'm afraid. It's one thing to get into a car and travel by yourself or move to a new city by yourself. It's another to do those things that lead up to those moments. Like the applications for jobs that have been on my list. Or all of those little things that make a huge difference in what it is that you get done with your life.

I need to go to bed. *sigh* Like now. Ugh.

November 20, 2011

Very Late Night Update

I've been meaning to write for quite some time, but there are always excuses for why I can't or why I haven't. The truth is that I have chosen not to. Like I've chosen not to participate in National Novel Writing Month when I was so gungho about doing it. It's all just too much. When the Penn State thing broke, there were a lot of things that came up for me, and there's still a bunch of writing that I want to do connected to it. I just can't right now. There is too much.

Lately I am paralyzed by anxiety. I've been having a massive anxiety attack for the last three days. I suppose I could be having a heart attack, but I really don't think that's it considering that the attack intensifies when I start thinking about money. So I'm going to do my best to not think about that. I keep telling myself that something will come up. There will be a job for me. I will land where I am supposed to. However that doesn't much help when my heart is pounding, and I feel like I can't breathe. That wouldn't be so bad if the medication that I have helped me. However, it doesn't. At the height of the worst attack, In the space of an hour and a half, I'd taken 2 xanax. Later that night, I took two Ativan. And nothing helped. It is an incredibly frustrating thing to know that you cannot help yourself.

It makes me wonder how I'm going to possibly handle the stress in the days that lead up to the wedding. We all know that I'm not good with stress period, and if I'm freaking out now, what am I going to do then? It's a good thing that Matt is so good with nutcases. I definitely have moments of lunacy. *sigh*

In other wedding related news, I think things are progressing nicely. We've created one registry. This coming week, we'll do the other two. I guess maybe we'll handle that Tuesday? We finally have someone to marry us! That was causing me a lot of stress as well. I've collected almost all of the records that I need. I need to now get a paint sprayer. The save-the-date cards have mostly gone out, although we still are missing a bunch of people. According to my guest list on The Knot, we have invited 142 people, although that doesn't include children. I think there are a bunch of people on Matt's side who we don't have addresses for. I suppose that's OK. They'll just show up. I think that between now and then, though, we'll some how manage to get ahold of all of the rest of them. Even if I have to get really bitchy about it.

I need to look at the checklist and figure out what else needs to happen next.

The first round of our engagement pictures happened today. The wife of one of Matt's friends took them at USM. I hope they turn out OK. I sorta saw one, and it looked alright. Matt said that he saw a couple of them and he said that they looked good. I hope so. We're supposed to have another round of pictures taken tomorrow, but I haven't heard from the photographer. I'd think that she'd send me a message or call today to make sure that we were good to go for tomorrow, but nothing. I guess I'm going to send her a message because I'm anal like that.

I suppose that other than wedding stuff, there are other questions about what's been going on lately. I spent a week in California with Amber and Nate. Got to visit with the Sner. Spent a few days with Shannon. It was good to be with my people for a little while, to focus on something and someone other than myself. This whole not working business gives me plenty of time to be narcissistic, and that's not good for me or anyone around me.

This coming week is Thanksgiving. I have much for which to be thankful. It will be outlined in full Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Something like that. Maybe.