July 2009

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July 2009

July 30, 2009

Late Evening Update

It really is true that high school never ends, I guess. I tend to be pretty honest with myself about who I really am. What is really happening with me and my life. I'm not going to lie to myself or to any one else. So. Yeah. People that do feel that need, people who are less than honest about who they are, people who are less than honest with me...I have no use or patience for. Those folks...don't matter in my life, except when they hurt someone I care about with their deceit. Those who stand back and allow it to happen, remaining silent, lose my respect, and if I don't respect a person, I have no use for them.

The last thing I'm going to say is that if a situation is how it's recently been presented to me (and I don't believe it is), then there are a lot of folks who are less in my eyes. Not that it matters to them, but it does to me because that means I have once again misjudged and trusted someone that I shouldn't.

Enough of that. Had to get it out first because it was on my mind.

The other news is that the GrandSner is doing much better. They are, however, keeping her until Saturday. Uncle Steve will be arriving in MO on Saturday, although not in time for her discharge. Mom flies in Sunday? and will be there until Thursday. I'll get in Friday night and head back to KY on Sunday.

Lots of miles on Esteban this summer.

I've been in Nashville for a little over a day now. Have a litle over a day to go. It's been OK. The opening reception last night was fabulous. Great food and an open bar. The sessions today weren't so hot. The first one was fantastic, and I have a great idea about how to use that particular set of strategies in my work with the entire faculty. The rest of them? Awful. On top of that, the rooms were freezing, so much so I had to go and buy a sweater this evening after dinner.

There were some interesting conversations last night under the influence of alcohol. Lost some more respect for a couple of people, gained a little for a few more. One of my colleagues is approaching 80, and she's done a little of everything in her life. We were talking about relationships, and she told me that if my soulmate comes along, I've got to grab with both hands and not let go...and that it only comes along rarely. She makes a lot of sense. I just have to be brave. I'm not that brave.

July 27, 2009

Late Evening Update

There was a lot I was going to talk about tonight. This weekend, a few things in the news, some stuff. But the big thing is that the Grand Sner is in surgery. She is hopefully having some stents put in but she may very well be having bypass of some sort. When I talked to her yesterday, she said that she felt like she'd been going downhill for the last two years, and that's true. She's older and has begun the decline. It's a natural thing. But as we were discussing this weekend, it's always hard. No matter how and when or why.

I'm not the best grand-daughter. I don't call or write as often as I should. I don't keep in touch. She is alone there. The life she has created is probably vastly different than she would have wanted or imagined...and she is alone.

There really were other things that I wanted to talk to about, but I'm tired. I need to go to bed.

July 23, 2009

Late Evening Update

I've spent quite a bit of time over the last two days creating web photo albums. I was going to say that it sucks, but it's not that it sucks. It's just that it's time consuming. It was easier when I had Dreamweaver 2004, which was on the old computer. I have MX on this machine, and while it's OK...it takes a few more steps to get everything sort of the way I want it to be and then I haven't figured out how to do a few other things. I guess I'm not smart enough. Or I'm just too lazy.

At any rate, the following photo albums are up: Spring Break 2009, Spring Break 2009 Flowers, and Summer 2009, Part I. Before you click on those links, a couple of things: if you're on dail-up, you may want to wait until you're somewhere with faster speeds. There are over 150 pics in the first album, 70+ in the second, and about 40 in the last one. The photos in the last album are small, but that's because I thought the photos in the other two were a little large. I have obviously forgotten what the right ratio is. I suppose if I did this more than twice a year, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. *sigh* Anyway. Feel free to browse, but don't say I didn't warn you.

I went to work today. We had a very long meeting this morning, and I guess I feel OK about the coming changes. My new colleague and I will be meeting Monday afternoon to discuss where we're going and what we'd like to see happen. I'm not working tomorrow, but vacation is really over Sunday night. The next two weeks will be long hauls, beginning the race to the end of the year. I hate that I'm already thinking that way, but this morning on my way in, I was already feeling sick. I've also been noticing that I'm grinding or clenching my teeth again. I guess maybe I'll go to the doctor some time in the next two weeks and see if he's willing to give me a prescription for something other than Ativan. Maybe if I take him the bottle with most of the pills still in it, he'll relent. I don't need something all the time. Just now and again.

I'm heading to Amish country tomorrow. that means I should probably unload the Grand Canyon pictures from my camera and charge the battery, eh? I'm a little sick of pictures right now, though. Although...I do need to go through and print a few off. I have a pressie to put together for Shan. Her birthday is coming up.

Speaking of birthdays, y'all think I need some green eyeliner, don't you? I think I need some green eyeliner. Shan wouldn't let me buy it when I was visiting, but then she bought green for herself and it looked good. I think that means I need green eyeliner for myself.

Went out with a colleague last night. Didn't make it home until a little after 1. And then went to work. Ugh.

I can't believe how this thing with Gates has blown up. It is ridiculous. Demanding an apology? When the cop was doing his job? Give me a break. I guess at this point he's at a point where he has to maintain or his going to lose face, but it is pitiful to watch someone that I have respected go through this. And to listen to his minions is pathetic. One of them was excoriating the police officer on The Situation Room but at the end of his screed, he tacked on, "if it happened the way Professor Gates said." OK. The police officer gets drug through the mud...if it happened the way Gates said it did.

In other news, one of those things I've talked about before, but...it is always sort of amusing, and perhaps a little pathetic, that when some men disagree with women, the only way they think they can make their point is to attack the woman's sexuality when the woman's sexuality isn't even a part of the discussion. I've recently, in the course of the same discussion, been told that I couldn't get any if I wanted it, that I'm a skank, and that I'm a whore. It's kinda related to attacking a woman's appearance. People are uncomfortable attacking the substance, but have no problem going for the superficial...or actually because we are all apparently so invested in our looks (because it is in the most basic sense ourselves) that an attack hits hard. The problem is that with me, it doesn't matter. Me, and who I am...I'm OK with it. So all of that stuff is so much noise.

To stay on the subject of men, there's a guy here who is trying so hard. He's sent me text messages all summer and while I think he would be fun to hang out with, I know that he wants more than that. Besides the fact that he has a child and lives with his child's mother, I'm just not interested. We're going to have to have that conversation. I blew him off this evening, but that can't keep working. *sigh*

My doggie has decided that she loves me again. When I was in Reno, she was my Sner's shadow. When I was in Hattiesburg, she was Beth's shadow. Now that we're home, and it's just me, she's my shadow. Not sure how I feel about that. Like I'm the consolation prize? Like she'll love me if I'm the only thing available? I'm sure this weekend she'll latch herself on to TaTa. *sigh*

Doggie will probably be kenneled this evening. With the kitties out and in the bed with me at night, it drives Cob nuts. She is up and if she's not barking, she's causing the kitties to growl. That's only cute for about five minutes.

Need to go to bed. It's late. Got things to do tomorrow. More on Sunday when I get home.

July 22, 2009

Late Evening Update

I guess traveling for five weeks, even if you do a lot of lazing along the way, makes you tired. I spent most of the day asleep. I got up around 7:30 to take the doggie out and feed her, but went back to bed. It was after 11 before I finally rolled out of the bed for good. I took a nap around 5:00. All the time I was out running my errands, I was exhausted, and I was wishing I was back at the apartment in the bed. My doggie has been much the same way...worthless. Poor baby.

Speaking of poor babies, when I was out, I bought a shedding rake for Blackberry. I couldn't help myself and started the process of dematting her. Poor baby. Her entire right side is almost completely matted. I can't believe that she is shedding this much after all the brushing that I'd done before I left. I quit when I had a full trash can (I brushed her in the bathroom so I could just sweep up with the broom rather than running the vacuum). I still need to get most of it out of that side. Poor baby. *sigh* We'll try again tomorrow.

I've seen and loved on my Peach. Last night she was in the spare room and literally wouldn't let me leave. She was screeching. Let me pick her up and didn't shut up until she felt she'd gotten enough attention. Same thing this morning. Both cats were in the bed with me (apparently one slept on the pillow...grrrrr). The doggie was going nuts, but she would have never known they were there if Peach hadn't been yowling. *sigh* Same thing this evening when I was using the bathroom. Peach came in and stepped right up with her paws on the edge of the toilet, meowing at the top of her lungs. It's nice that she's coming out to see me. Maybe she's learned her lesson. *grin*

The house is smelling better. I have the plug-ins going, and when I was out today, I bought some carpet deodorizer that is for pets. Tomorrow I'm going to get the litter box cleaned out so that it's not a source of stench. I just can't stand the thought of the house stinking like animals live here...even if animals do live here.

When I was in the bathroom cleaning up after the brushing, I realized that I really do need to do a serious cleaning. There's dog/cat hair along the baseboards. That means I have to pull things out and use the crevice attachment. Ugh. Maybe next week? I am serious about asking Kelly (the lady who checked on the cats) how much she would charge me to come mop and dust (which I hate) once a month. There's not a lot to mop, and I don't think the dusting is too much. If it's like $50, I may just do it. That reminds me...I need to pull down the drapes covering my storage area and wash them. The bottoms of them are covered in TSLO hair.

Ummmm...I just watched a commercial for Chef Michael's dog food. Say what? Who is Chef Michael and why is he making dog food? That strikes me much like Rachel Ray's dog food struck me. Why would I buy dog food from you?

A couple of interesting articles to take about today. The first one being that pulling out is as effective as using a condom. That is interesting news. The article stresses that while it offers the same protection against pregnancy it offers no protection against disease. But. Pulling out has an 18% failure rate while condoms have a 17% failure rate with typical use. With perfect use, condoms have a 2% failure rate and pulling out? Four percent. Now...I don't remember hearing that in my younger years. If I had, then perhaps I wouldn't have been as uneasy about some choices I've made in my life. Yes, those choices could have lead ot disease, but always chief in my mind has been pregnancy. While being pregnant right now wouldn't be the end of the world, it would still be a shock and a huge adjustment.

Another thing of interest: the Henry Lewis Gates arrest. Did y'all hear about this? I have a hard time believing that it was racial profiling. A really, really hard time. If someone calls the cops and says that it appears a break-in is in progress, the police arrive and find people in the house who refuse to identify themselves, then something is fishy. It could be racial profiling, but I don't know. I really don't. I tend to side with the boys in blue in most instances, and in this one, I think that everything could have been avoided if Gates had provided his license instead of going on an ego/power trip. But I'm not a black man in America. So I don't know.

While I was browsing and trying to avoid cleaning, I came across this article with all sorts of different salads. Think I'm going to try #7 first. Then maybe move on to a couple of the ones that use seared tuna.

Picked up my mail today. My shredder got a work-out. Strangely, there were a couple of new magazines in there. Midwest Living (thank you Jane!) was one that I was expecting. But there's also Field & Stream. Did someone get me that magazine? Because, not to be ungrateful, I'm not really a hunting type. I like to be outdoors and go camping. A better choice might have been Backpacker. I also apparently now have a subscription to Prevention. I'm not going to deny that there seems to be some pretty good articles in there, but it seems like Prevention is targeted to an older audience. Perhaps Self would have been better?

Tomorrow is kinda my last day of freedom. Going to use it to edit photos and create web photo albums. Yay me! Which means I need to get on that. Toodles.

July 21, 2009

Very Early Morning Update

The doggie and I are back in Louisville, and neither one of us is happy to be here. *sigh* Need to clean house. It's not at all bad (so thankful I cleaned before I left), but when a house has been closed up for five weeks, it needs a little freshening up. I'm a little worried about the faint smell of cat urine, but I've got quite a bit of Nature's Miracle. The spray room has already been hosed down.

Speaking of cats, I've seen both of them. Gave both of them some love. They've come out fearlessly because the doggie is passed outat my feet. At one point, doggie had her tongue hanging out her mouth as she slept. She was also "making biscuits" (like the cats do) there for a little bit. It was kinda scary at first, but when I realized she wasn't having a seizure or something, it was pretty sweet to watch.

I very much didn't want to come back. Cried when I left. *sigh* Doggie mises Georgie and his aunt Beth...who gives her all the snacks and table scraps she wants. Work starts for me on Thursday. Ugh. Don't want to be here, don't want to do this. Must find something else eventually.

More tomorrow.

July 17, 2009

Morning Update

I know I said that I was going to be better about keeping things updated, but well...that just didn't happen. It's hard when you're relying on someone else's computer in order to do the updating. *sigh* Seems like I have a lot to catch you up on. I don't have a lot of time this morning, but I'll do what I can.

When we last chatted, I was waiting for my debit card. Impatiently, I might add. It didn't come in on the 5th. I was pretty upset about that because I could have been doing something worthwhile. Like hanging out with friends. Or going to Tahoe. Or Lassen. Instead I sat at the house and edited the pictures I had. I suppose that was an OK use of time since I was going to need to do that anyway. But still.

On the 6th, I said screw it and went to Lassen. Left my doggie at home so I was actually able to do some hiking. I'd thought about hiking Lassen Peak, but I'm glad I nixed that idea. Lots of trails still had snow and ice on them so I wouldn't have had the right gear for that hike. Plus there's the fact that it looked like it went straight up for the first 400-500 feet. I would have died. I did hike the Bumpass Hell Trail, though. It was about 3 miles round trip? You hike all the way back to get to the hydrothermic features. It was an easy trail, so it was worth it. Very pretty country up there. Hard for me to believe that it's been almost a century since Lassen erupted and the landscape still shows the scars. Some of it is very desolate still. Recovery is a long, long process. I was struck by that idea when I was in Yellowstone and surveying fire damage. Mother Nature may renew herself, but she does so at her own pace.

On Wednesday the 8th, I was supposed to head up to Tahoe with Desiree, but she got the same puking sickness her children had. I went by myself. I was surprised at the crowds. I guess I have forgotten what a tourist destination it is. That's OK. I couldn't get in to park at Emerald Bay and many other places. Didn't spend any time on the beaches because of the doggie. She's not allowed to go a lot of places, and while that makes me sad, we obey the rules.

Thursday started the trip back to Mississippi via Zion and Grand Canyon National Parks. On the way south, I stopped in to have coffee with Linda. It was so good to see her! She looks so happy and content out in Ferntucky. We talked for about an hour and then I headed out.

There are some pretty desolate stretches of road in Nevada. I cut across at Tonopah, and there was a stretch of the Extraterrestrial Highway where I didn't see another vehicle for 76 minutes. Kinda freaked me out a bit because there wasn't any cell service out there. I kept thinking...what if something happens to the car? What am I going to do then? *sigh* Paranoid, yes, I know. Nothing happened, though, and we made it safely to Zion.

I actually camped outside the east gate of Zion. There weren't any spots available in the campgrounds inside the park, so we took what we could get. I suppose it wasn't bad. Cobbler got herself nice and dirty. The ground was that silty, sandy soil and she had a ball just rolling around in it. I took a picture of her at one point and she was a tan dog rather than a black one. *sigh* I'm glad I didn't give her a bath before I left the Sner's because I would have been pissed.

We didn't get to see much of Zion because most of the park is only accessible by shuttle bus. Since the doggie can't go on the shuttle bus, we were limited to a 13 mile stretch of highway from the west gate to the east. That sucks, but those are the breaks. I was up and on the road by 7 Friday morning so we were able to see what we could and be headed towards the Grand Canyon by about 9:00.

It took us awhile to get to the Grand Canyon (south rim), but once we did...I don't have words to describe it and the pictures don't do it justice. It truly is amazing. You look at it and it's so difficult to fathom how far down it is and how far across it is. You see that little strip of water at the bottom of it, and it is just incredible to think that it was responsible for all that you see in front of you. Just amazing. I can't wait to get the pictures up for you.

After that, it was on to Hattiesburg. I decided to take the southern route, partly because I'd never been that way before. Came down through Phoenix and Tuscon then through El Paso (where I stopped for the night). Shortly after El Paso, I had to go through a Border Patrol checkpoint, which was essentially a waste of my time. They asked me where I was coming from, where I was going, if the dog was vaccinated and if I was a US citizen. The one peered into the backseat, but that was it. There were four agents, but all of them looked like they were about 12. I could have had a trunk full of Mexicans or drugs and they would have never known. Like I said, waste of my time. Way to keep the borders secure, Federal Government.

Texas was a long, long drive. I was prepared for that, but really there's no way to prepare yourself for the torture that is a drive across Texas. It took me all day (from about 5:30 in the morning until about 8 at night) to get to Louisiana. I made it into Gumbo Acres at about 11:45. Passed right on out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Haven't done a lot since I've been back. Been lazy in the pool. Went to Ropers with Matt. Saw a movie. Have had lunch with some friends. Drank some with the girls. Not a bad way to spend the time. Not looking forward to getting back to Kentucky. At all. Especially since I got the news that the other LA master teacher has been hired and she will be given the charge of handling writing in the building. Yet another shitty way to treat someone. Glad that I'm only looking at another year there and then moving on. I'm also glad that I haven't made a whole lot of plans for professional development because most of what I would have done would have focused on writing. Since that is to be her domain, it would have been a waste on my part.

In other news, the former roommate apparently thinks she can pull off a Star Jones and disguise her gastric bypass surgery as a health emergency/mystery. She's been telling people she's sick and needs their prayers, but at the same time, she's told other people that she's having the surgery. She needs prayers alright but for the mental illness that she apparently has. It's one thing to have the surgery. It's another all together to lie to people about it and try to get sympathy because you're "ill". Ummmm...yeah, you're ill.

I have to wonder how long she thought she could keep up the lie? When you're going to tell a lie like that, you don't tell anyone the truth because eventually it's going to come out. You'd think by now she would have learned (as I have) that lots of those people she thought were trustworthy aren't. Because they talk when you ask them not too. I guessed that's what she was up to awhile back (because she's not smart enough to keep something like that to herself...she is always working at getting herself noticed, whether it's talking about stories she's written or what-have-you...she needs the attention), but her "friends" confirmed it. Very, very few people in that circle we both ran with are trustworthy. Liars, backstabbers, bitches (both male and female).

There's more but right now I have to get in the shower or I'm going to be late for lunch. I probably won't get another chance to update until I get home Monday night. Then I might be too tired to do anything. We'll see. I'll try to get pictures posted soon. If you're on facebook, some of them are already up.

July 5, 2009

Evening Update

Did y'all have a good Fourth of July? Mine was good. Kinda lazed around the house all day and then got ready to meet Amber and Nate and the family. Ron White was good. I laughed so hard I cried for much of the show. Very funny. His opening act was pretty good too.

I didn't get to see any fireworks, and that's a very sad thing. I love the fireworks, and I missed all of them. *sigh* Matt has saved a fountain for me, so I'll get to see a little something when I get back to Hattiesburg. One of the things that Ron White said last night was that the timing of the show was messed up, and that's true. He said if the'd started at 10 rather than 8, we all could ahve seen fireworks. Which is true. Damn the Peppermill.

Speaking of the Peppermill, I of course, haven't been there in forever. They've done some extensive remodeling in the last several years. Not that it wasn't nice before but it's incredibly nice now. Wow. I'm not sure that I agree with the Tuscan theme, given the way the place looks from the outside and the way the casino floor still looks (some of that art work is ridiculously out of place), but whatever works for them. Dinner wasn't the greatest, but not everything can be perfect.

I think that perhaps I've been around people too much recently. I'm beginning to get snaggley. The little things are bothering me, and they totally shouldn't be. But they are. I'm going to Lassen Tuesday, and I think it'll be good for me to get up there. Wednesday I'm going to Tahoe with Desiree and the kids, and I think that will be good for me too. Then on Thursday, I'm heading off to Zion and starting the trip home to Mississippi.

I'm not sure what I'm doing tomorrow other than waiting for my debit card and Steve's meds to show up. I guess maybe I'll take myself to lunch. Sushi? Probably since it's so cheap here.

I've been on the computer most of the day (except when I was napping), so I should probably get off of here. I'm sure there's something else I could be doing. Or should be doing.

July 4, 2009

Morning Update

For some reason I can't figure out how to update the site on my new blackberry. It lets me into the area that I need to be in, but then it won't let me click on the folders that I need to. And when I'm not home, that means that updating is a hit or miss proposition. Sorry. I'll try to do better, but I can't make you any promises.

It's the Fourth of July! Do y'all have any plans? I kinda wish I was in Mississippi. The last couple of years I've been at Cook-Out for Cops with the Jaycees and then out to Gumbo Acres for the pool. Matt is having a big to-do out there tonight, and I'm sad to be missing it. Besides the people (my friend TaTa is in town and I'm not getting to see her *pout*), I think I really miss the fireworks.

I might love fireworks almost as much as I love Christmas lights. There's just something about it. I get transfixed. I'm slightly embarrassed that I'm so easily entertained, literally mouth-hanging open, but there it is. I sent Matt a text and told him to save a fountain for me in case I don't get to see any pretty combinations of explosives.

My plans for the fourth include updating this thing. Maybe taking my puppy for a walk, and then heading to the Peppermill. Amber's in-laws are up for the holiday and apparently it's hanging poolside, having dinner, and then going to see Ron White. Sounds like a good time to me, plus I'll get to see Nate. I love Nate! Not that I don't love Amber; I've just gotten to see her in the last couple of days. Not sure about Ron White, but it's a small price to pay to spend time with folks that I love.

I think the bank stuff is finally figured out. Such a headache. I will definitely be switching when I get home, and I cannot ever recommend PNC Bank (or National City, whom PNC acquired) to anyone. My debit card was supposed to be deactivated last week. When I called on Thursday (was told I could do it on Wednesday and when I called on Wednesday, they said nope, call back on Thursday), it hadn't been deactivated. What? Are you kidding me? My paycheck and a supplemental (which was more than my paycheck) went into my account on Friday. I'm just lucky that none of that money was touched by the damn thieves. Then they tried to tell me that they wouldn't send my card expedieted --for free-- because there hadn't been any bank error. Ummmm...excuse me? After being on hold for 15 minutes, the bimbo that originally told me she couldn't waive the fee somehow was able to waive the fee. Imagine that? So. Card should be here on Monday or Tuesday, and I'm watching my account like a hawk. Bitches.

Because the card will be here, the plan for heading to Mississippi and then on to Louisville are as follows: leave Reno on Thursday the 9th. Head south on 95 and then east at Tonopah. Make my way to St. George and then Zion National Park. I will camp somewhere around there Thursday night. The next morning I'll be up to see the Grand Canyon. After that, it'll be cooking on home to Hattiesburg on I-10, cutting north at New Orleans. I've never gone the southern southern route, so that might be interesting. The Sner said the mileage is about the same (might be a little further to go south) and since I've not been that way before...that's the decision. I'm hoping to be in Hattiesburg on Saturday the 11th. Gonna be a long drive. Ughh.

Reminds me that I need to run by Trader Joes and stock up on snacks and food for the trip...and get some beer to take home with me. Good beer that can't be had in Mississippi or Kentucky. If I'm sweet maybe I'll share it. Maybe.

Spent a couple of nights out at Ambers. Had a lovely day on Thursday. We went by her school to get recycling then headed to the Atlantis sushi bar for lunch. Wandered through the new shopping center in Sparks and caught Public Enemies (it was OK but I felt ike I'd seen the movie a few times before...the story is familiar and the movie didn't bring anything new to it). We had dinner with the Sner and her boy. We watched another movie at home. It doesn't sound like much, but it was a great day. It doesn't take much to make me happy.

Cob stayed with me out at Amber's. She has three dogs: a yellow lab, a weimaraner, and an airedale. Sweet doggies, but three big dog like that are a bit overwhelming for my low-rider. Poor thing spent most of her time hiding in the bedroom or in the corner. I think towards the end, on Friday, all of them including Cobbler, were ready to play, but Cobbler just didn't know how to play with all three of those big dogs at once. Becaues it was the three of them against her. They're a bit much. It was OK, though. Thursday night, when Cobbler had enough of Max (the yellow lab) pawing at her, she was snapping at him. Not quite sure he was prepared for that from her.

We had some great conversations too. Big things are happening for Amber and Nate, and I'm so happy for them! We also talked quite a bit about me and where I'm headed with this life...

...which brings me to another thing. I apparently am an awful judge of character. I guess it's not wise to put your trust in addicts and alcoholics. Who knew? I typically want to believe that it's not wrong to trust someone and that if they choose to betray your trust, then that is about them...not you. But when you keep trusting them...that's about you. Gotta say that while the boy hurt me, I don't think it was malicious on his part. I think he just can't help himself. Doesn't mean to be a prick bastard but it happens. Nothing personal about it and really it's about him and his issues. Others, though...not quite so much.

But that leads me to question what I'm doing or where I'm going. Who can I really trust? Who's going to be lying in wait to betray me or threaten me or just be a pathetic little bitch? How do you know that someone is going to be who they present themselves as? And how do you keep yourself safe from the bastards who aren't who you think they are? There is much about me that no one knows...for all I put it out here and in other places. There's still that will never see the light of day because I have no real idea who I can trust with it, who's going to use it at a later date.

That was one of the conversations that Amber and I had. Sometimes you just have to leap. I don't know if I'm ready to leap. It's a scary thing. I'm pretty sure it's a soft landing this time, but I've thought that before only to be proven wrong. I really want to trust and believe. I do. But. I see people all the time who aren't what they seem. Who talk about loving their wives and are sending dirty text messages or making propositions to women who aren't their wives. I see women who are supposedly upstanding and moral slithering on their bellies like snakes. And I wonder when they're being the perfidious bitches they are...if they remember that more people know about them than they think and whether they worry about who they've mistakenly confided in, or wonder what they've let slip when they're at the bottom of their bottle? Or do they count on other's honor and discretion while forgetting that they themselves possess any?

And trust me...I know I can be a snarky bitch. I get it. I understand I'm struggling with some of the issues that I'm talking about. There has to be something about me that attracts those kinds of people to me.

I suppose the end result of all that rambling is that a decision has to be made, though. The time is coming because it's not fair for me to let my cyncism and distrust hurt someone else. So give in or get out. One or the other. It's time. I think I know what the decision is but it's still a scary thing.

In other news, the Sner and I went to San Francisco last weekend. It was a fast trip. Left on Sunday afternoon and were back on Monday. We did Fisherman's Wharf (including Ghiradelli Square's soda fountain...yummy ice cream; Cioppino's for dinner where I had an excellent basil gimlet; and the cable cars) and Golden Gate Park with the San Francisco Botanic Gardens and the Japanese Tea Gardens. It was Gay Pride weekend in San Francisco, and I have to tell you that there were some interesting sights. As we were looking for the hotel (which really was like country come to town for us), we turned down an alley to make a block. Sitting on a stoop, pants around ankles, there was a guy furiously masturbating. I'm not a prude, but I was like, whaaaaaaat? LOL! I'd say that was the most interesting of all the sights. Other things were just like, eh.

I made the Sner walk quite a bit. Up hills and then down them. Kinda felt bad about it because of her bad knee. It's been a long time since I was in San Francisco, and it's easy to get turned around. It's nice to have the GPS on the phone. It helped us find Good Vibrations. *grin*

Y'all see the news about Sarah Palin? Good lord there are still people out there who think that she has a shot as President of the United States. I seriously don't understand it. Charisma. OK. Whatever. But she just quit a job that she was elected to because she couldn't be effective at it. If she can't handle that kind of pressure, how do people think that she can handle being the President? She's always been out of her depth. Sure she might spend the next year or so brushing up, but the truth is that she didn't have the ability to think on her feet or to know that she was in over her head. She can't learn that in a year. The campaign is going to start again soon...and she's still not going to be ready.

Perhaps the saddest thing is she might be the best that the Republican party has to offer. I'm a liberal at heart (duh) but at the same time...I think it takes all of us to make this country work. We need a balance and we need the best that's available on both sides of the aisle. When we're challenged by our equals, we have to become better ourselves. We need tempering by our opposites and people who realize that we cannot go it alone.

I'm watching The Revolution on the History Channel. It's a nice way to spend Independence Day. Lots of stuff that I had forgotten.

Anyway. I've got to get out of here and get on my way. I need a shower and need to run an errand or two.

Last Updated July 31, 2009

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July 30, 2009

Late Evening Update

It really is true that high school never ends, I guess. I tend to be pretty honest with myself about who I really am. What is really happening with me and my life. I'm not going to lie to myself or to any one else. So. Yeah. People that do feel that need, people who are less than honest about who they are, people who are less than honest with me...I have no use or patience for. Those folks...don't matter in my life, except when they hurt someone I care about with their deceit. Those who stand back and allow it to happen, remaining silent, lose my respect, and if I don't respect a person, I have no use for them.

The last thing I'm going to say is that if a situation is how it's recently been presented to me (and I don't believe it is), then there are a lot of folks who are less in my eyes. Not that it matters to them, but it does to me because that means I have once again misjudged and trusted someone that I shouldn't.

Enough of that. Had to get it out first because it was on my mind.

The other news is that the GrandSner is doing much better. They are, however, keeping her until Saturday. Uncle Steve will be arriving in MO on Saturday, although not in time for her discharge. Mom flies in Sunday? and will be there until Thursday. I'll get in Friday night and head back to KY on Sunday.

Lots of miles on Esteban this summer.

I've been in Nashville for a little over a day now. Have a litle over a day to go. It's been OK. The opening reception last night was fabulous. Great food and an open bar. The sessions today weren't so hot. The first one was fantastic, and I have a great idea about how to use that particular set of strategies in my work with the entire faculty. The rest of them? Awful. On top of that, the rooms were freezing, so much so I had to go and buy a sweater this evening after dinner.

There were some interesting conversations last night under the influence of alcohol. Lost some more respect for a couple of people, gained a little for a few more. One of my colleagues is approaching 80, and she's done a little of everything in her life. We were talking about relationships, and she told me that if my soulmate comes along, I've got to grab with both hands and not let go...and that it only comes along rarely. She makes a lot of sense. I just have to be brave. I'm not that brave.

July 27, 2009

Late Evening Update

There was a lot I was going to talk about tonight. This weekend, a few things in the news, some stuff. But the big thing is that the Grand Sner is in surgery. She is hopefully having some stents put in but she may very well be having bypass of some sort. When I talked to her yesterday, she said that she felt like she'd been going downhill for the last two years, and that's true. She's older and has begun the decline. It's a natural thing. But as we were discussing this weekend, it's always hard. No matter how and when or why.

I'm not the best grand-daughter. I don't call or write as often as I should. I don't keep in touch. She is alone there. The life she has created is probably vastly different than she would have wanted or imagined...and she is alone.

There really were other things that I wanted to talk to about, but I'm tired. I need to go to bed.

July 23, 2009

Late Evening Update

I've spent quite a bit of time over the last two days creating web photo albums. I was going to say that it sucks, but it's not that it sucks. It's just that it's time consuming. It was easier when I had Dreamweaver 2004, which was on the old computer. I have MX on this machine, and while it's OK...it takes a few more steps to get everything sort of the way I want it to be and then I haven't figured out how to do a few other things. I guess I'm not smart enough. Or I'm just too lazy.

At any rate, the following photo albums are up: Spring Break 2009, Spring Break 2009 Flowers, and Summer 2009, Part I. Before you click on those links, a couple of things: if you're on dail-up, you may want to wait until you're somewhere with faster speeds. There are over 150 pics in the first album, 70+ in the second, and about 40 in the last one. The photos in the last album are small, but that's because I thought the photos in the other two were a little large. I have obviously forgotten what the right ratio is. I suppose if I did this more than twice a year, it wouldn't be that big of a deal. *sigh* Anyway. Feel free to browse, but don't say I didn't warn you.

I went to work today. We had a very long meeting this morning, and I guess I feel OK about the coming changes. My new colleague and I will be meeting Monday afternoon to discuss where we're going and what we'd like to see happen. I'm not working tomorrow, but vacation is really over Sunday night. The next two weeks will be long hauls, beginning the race to the end of the year. I hate that I'm already thinking that way, but this morning on my way in, I was already feeling sick. I've also been noticing that I'm grinding or clenching my teeth again. I guess maybe I'll go to the doctor some time in the next two weeks and see if he's willing to give me a prescription for something other than Ativan. Maybe if I take him the bottle with most of the pills still in it, he'll relent. I don't need something all the time. Just now and again.

I'm heading to Amish country tomorrow. that means I should probably unload the Grand Canyon pictures from my camera and charge the battery, eh? I'm a little sick of pictures right now, though. Although...I do need to go through and print a few off. I have a pressie to put together for Shan. Her birthday is coming up.

Speaking of birthdays, y'all think I need some green eyeliner, don't you? I think I need some green eyeliner. Shan wouldn't let me buy it when I was visiting, but then she bought green for herself and it looked good. I think that means I need green eyeliner for myself.

Went out with a colleague last night. Didn't make it home until a little after 1. And then went to work. Ugh.

I can't believe how this thing with Gates has blown up. It is ridiculous. Demanding an apology? When the cop was doing his job? Give me a break. I guess at this point he's at a point where he has to maintain or his going to lose face, but it is pitiful to watch someone that I have respected go through this. And to listen to his minions is pathetic. One of them was excoriating the police officer on The Situation Room but at the end of his screed, he tacked on, "if it happened the way Professor Gates said." OK. The police officer gets drug through the mud...if it happened the way Gates said it did.

In other news, one of those things I've talked about before, but...it is always sort of amusing, and perhaps a little pathetic, that when some men disagree with women, the only way they think they can make their point is to attack the woman's sexuality when the woman's sexuality isn't even a part of the discussion. I've recently, in the course of the same discussion, been told that I couldn't get any if I wanted it, that I'm a skank, and that I'm a whore. It's kinda related to attacking a woman's appearance. People are uncomfortable attacking the substance, but have no problem going for the superficial...or actually because we are all apparently so invested in our looks (because it is in the most basic sense ourselves) that an attack hits hard. The problem is that with me, it doesn't matter. Me, and who I am...I'm OK with it. So all of that stuff is so much noise.

To stay on the subject of men, there's a guy here who is trying so hard. He's sent me text messages all summer and while I think he would be fun to hang out with, I know that he wants more than that. Besides the fact that he has a child and lives with his child's mother, I'm just not interested. We're going to have to have that conversation. I blew him off this evening, but that can't keep working. *sigh*

My doggie has decided that she loves me again. When I was in Reno, she was my Sner's shadow. When I was in Hattiesburg, she was Beth's shadow. Now that we're home, and it's just me, she's my shadow. Not sure how I feel about that. Like I'm the consolation prize? Like she'll love me if I'm the only thing available? I'm sure this weekend she'll latch herself on to TaTa. *sigh*

Doggie will probably be kenneled this evening. With the kitties out and in the bed with me at night, it drives Cob nuts. She is up and if she's not barking, she's causing the kitties to growl. That's only cute for about five minutes.

Need to go to bed. It's late. Got things to do tomorrow. More on Sunday when I get home.

July 22, 2009

Late Evening Update

I guess traveling for five weeks, even if you do a lot of lazing along the way, makes you tired. I spent most of the day asleep. I got up around 7:30 to take the doggie out and feed her, but went back to bed. It was after 11 before I finally rolled out of the bed for good. I took a nap around 5:00. All the time I was out running my errands, I was exhausted, and I was wishing I was back at the apartment in the bed. My doggie has been much the same way...worthless. Poor baby.

Speaking of poor babies, when I was out, I bought a shedding rake for Blackberry. I couldn't help myself and started the process of dematting her. Poor baby. Her entire right side is almost completely matted. I can't believe that she is shedding this much after all the brushing that I'd done before I left. I quit when I had a full trash can (I brushed her in the bathroom so I could just sweep up with the broom rather than running the vacuum). I still need to get most of it out of that side. Poor baby. *sigh* We'll try again tomorrow.

I've seen and loved on my Peach. Last night she was in the spare room and literally wouldn't let me leave. She was screeching. Let me pick her up and didn't shut up until she felt she'd gotten enough attention. Same thing this morning. Both cats were in the bed with me (apparently one slept on the pillow...grrrrr). The doggie was going nuts, but she would have never known they were there if Peach hadn't been yowling. *sigh* Same thing this evening when I was using the bathroom. Peach came in and stepped right up with her paws on the edge of the toilet, meowing at the top of her lungs. It's nice that she's coming out to see me. Maybe she's learned her lesson. *grin*

The house is smelling better. I have the plug-ins going, and when I was out today, I bought some carpet deodorizer that is for pets. Tomorrow I'm going to get the litter box cleaned out so that it's not a source of stench. I just can't stand the thought of the house stinking like animals live here...even if animals do live here.

When I was in the bathroom cleaning up after the brushing, I realized that I really do need to do a serious cleaning. There's dog/cat hair along the baseboards. That means I have to pull things out and use the crevice attachment. Ugh. Maybe next week? I am serious about asking Kelly (the lady who checked on the cats) how much she would charge me to come mop and dust (which I hate) once a month. There's not a lot to mop, and I don't think the dusting is too much. If it's like $50, I may just do it. That reminds me...I need to pull down the drapes covering my storage area and wash them. The bottoms of them are covered in TSLO hair.

Ummmm...I just watched a commercial for Chef Michael's dog food. Say what? Who is Chef Michael and why is he making dog food? That strikes me much like Rachel Ray's dog food struck me. Why would I buy dog food from you?

A couple of interesting articles to take about today. The first one being that pulling out is as effective as using a condom. That is interesting news. The article stresses that while it offers the same protection against pregnancy it offers no protection against disease. But. Pulling out has an 18% failure rate while condoms have a 17% failure rate with typical use. With perfect use, condoms have a 2% failure rate and pulling out? Four percent. Now...I don't remember hearing that in my younger years. If I had, then perhaps I wouldn't have been as uneasy about some choices I've made in my life. Yes, those choices could have lead ot disease, but always chief in my mind has been pregnancy. While being pregnant right now wouldn't be the end of the world, it would still be a shock and a huge adjustment.

Another thing of interest: the Henry Lewis Gates arrest. Did y'all hear about this? I have a hard time believing that it was racial profiling. A really, really hard time. If someone calls the cops and says that it appears a break-in is in progress, the police arrive and find people in the house who refuse to identify themselves, then something is fishy. It could be racial profiling, but I don't know. I really don't. I tend to side with the boys in blue in most instances, and in this one, I think that everything could have been avoided if Gates had provided his license instead of going on an ego/power trip. But I'm not a black man in America. So I don't know.

While I was browsing and trying to avoid cleaning, I came across this article with all sorts of different salads. Think I'm going to try #7 first. Then maybe move on to a couple of the ones that use seared tuna.

Picked up my mail today. My shredder got a work-out. Strangely, there were a couple of new magazines in there. Midwest Living (thank you Jane!) was one that I was expecting. But there's also Field & Stream. Did someone get me that magazine? Because, not to be ungrateful, I'm not really a hunting type. I like to be outdoors and go camping. A better choice might have been Backpacker. I also apparently now have a subscription to Prevention. I'm not going to deny that there seems to be some pretty good articles in there, but it seems like Prevention is targeted to an older audience. Perhaps Self would have been better?

Tomorrow is kinda my last day of freedom. Going to use it to edit photos and create web photo albums. Yay me! Which means I need to get on that. Toodles.

July 21, 2009

Very Early Morning Update

The doggie and I are back in Louisville, and neither one of us is happy to be here. *sigh* Need to clean house. It's not at all bad (so thankful I cleaned before I left), but when a house has been closed up for five weeks, it needs a little freshening up. I'm a little worried about the faint smell of cat urine, but I've got quite a bit of Nature's Miracle. The spray room has already been hosed down.

Speaking of cats, I've seen both of them. Gave both of them some love. They've come out fearlessly because the doggie is passed outat my feet. At one point, doggie had her tongue hanging out her mouth as she slept. She was also "making biscuits" (like the cats do) there for a little bit. It was kinda scary at first, but when I realized she wasn't having a seizure or something, it was pretty sweet to watch.

I very much didn't want to come back. Cried when I left. *sigh* Doggie mises Georgie and his aunt Beth...who gives her all the snacks and table scraps she wants. Work starts for me on Thursday. Ugh. Don't want to be here, don't want to do this. Must find something else eventually.

More tomorrow.

July 17, 2009

Morning Update

I know I said that I was going to be better about keeping things updated, but well...that just didn't happen. It's hard when you're relying on someone else's computer in order to do the updating. *sigh* Seems like I have a lot to catch you up on. I don't have a lot of time this morning, but I'll do what I can.

When we last chatted, I was waiting for my debit card. Impatiently, I might add. It didn't come in on the 5th. I was pretty upset about that because I could have been doing something worthwhile. Like hanging out with friends. Or going to Tahoe. Or Lassen. Instead I sat at the house and edited the pictures I had. I suppose that was an OK use of time since I was going to need to do that anyway. But still.

On the 6th, I said screw it and went to Lassen. Left my doggie at home so I was actually able to do some hiking. I'd thought about hiking Lassen Peak, but I'm glad I nixed that idea. Lots of trails still had snow and ice on them so I wouldn't have had the right gear for that hike. Plus there's the fact that it looked like it went straight up for the first 400-500 feet. I would have died. I did hike the Bumpass Hell Trail, though. It was about 3 miles round trip? You hike all the way back to get to the hydrothermic features. It was an easy trail, so it was worth it. Very pretty country up there. Hard for me to believe that it's been almost a century since Lassen erupted and the landscape still shows the scars. Some of it is very desolate still. Recovery is a long, long process. I was struck by that idea when I was in Yellowstone and surveying fire damage. Mother Nature may renew herself, but she does so at her own pace.

On Wednesday the 8th, I was supposed to head up to Tahoe with Desiree, but she got the same puking sickness her children had. I went by myself. I was surprised at the crowds. I guess I have forgotten what a tourist destination it is. That's OK. I couldn't get in to park at Emerald Bay and many other places. Didn't spend any time on the beaches because of the doggie. She's not allowed to go a lot of places, and while that makes me sad, we obey the rules.

Thursday started the trip back to Mississippi via Zion and Grand Canyon National Parks. On the way south, I stopped in to have coffee with Linda. It was so good to see her! She looks so happy and content out in Ferntucky. We talked for about an hour and then I headed out.

There are some pretty desolate stretches of road in Nevada. I cut across at Tonopah, and there was a stretch of the Extraterrestrial Highway where I didn't see another vehicle for 76 minutes. Kinda freaked me out a bit because there wasn't any cell service out there. I kept thinking...what if something happens to the car? What am I going to do then? *sigh* Paranoid, yes, I know. Nothing happened, though, and we made it safely to Zion.

I actually camped outside the east gate of Zion. There weren't any spots available in the campgrounds inside the park, so we took what we could get. I suppose it wasn't bad. Cobbler got herself nice and dirty. The ground was that silty, sandy soil and she had a ball just rolling around in it. I took a picture of her at one point and she was a tan dog rather than a black one. *sigh* I'm glad I didn't give her a bath before I left the Sner's because I would have been pissed.

We didn't get to see much of Zion because most of the park is only accessible by shuttle bus. Since the doggie can't go on the shuttle bus, we were limited to a 13 mile stretch of highway from the west gate to the east. That sucks, but those are the breaks. I was up and on the road by 7 Friday morning so we were able to see what we could and be headed towards the Grand Canyon by about 9:00.

It took us awhile to get to the Grand Canyon (south rim), but once we did...I don't have words to describe it and the pictures don't do it justice. It truly is amazing. You look at it and it's so difficult to fathom how far down it is and how far across it is. You see that little strip of water at the bottom of it, and it is just incredible to think that it was responsible for all that you see in front of you. Just amazing. I can't wait to get the pictures up for you.

After that, it was on to Hattiesburg. I decided to take the southern route, partly because I'd never been that way before. Came down through Phoenix and Tuscon then through El Paso (where I stopped for the night). Shortly after El Paso, I had to go through a Border Patrol checkpoint, which was essentially a waste of my time. They asked me where I was coming from, where I was going, if the dog was vaccinated and if I was a US citizen. The one peered into the backseat, but that was it. There were four agents, but all of them looked like they were about 12. I could have had a trunk full of Mexicans or drugs and they would have never known. Like I said, waste of my time. Way to keep the borders secure, Federal Government.

Texas was a long, long drive. I was prepared for that, but really there's no way to prepare yourself for the torture that is a drive across Texas. It took me all day (from about 5:30 in the morning until about 8 at night) to get to Louisiana. I made it into Gumbo Acres at about 11:45. Passed right on out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Haven't done a lot since I've been back. Been lazy in the pool. Went to Ropers with Matt. Saw a movie. Have had lunch with some friends. Drank some with the girls. Not a bad way to spend the time. Not looking forward to getting back to Kentucky. At all. Especially since I got the news that the other LA master teacher has been hired and she will be given the charge of handling writing in the building. Yet another shitty way to treat someone. Glad that I'm only looking at another year there and then moving on. I'm also glad that I haven't made a whole lot of plans for professional development because most of what I would have done would have focused on writing. Since that is to be her domain, it would have been a waste on my part.

In other news, the former roommate apparently thinks she can pull off a Star Jones and disguise her gastric bypass surgery as a health emergency/mystery. She's been telling people she's sick and needs their prayers, but at the same time, she's told other people that she's having the surgery. She needs prayers alright but for the mental illness that she apparently has. It's one thing to have the surgery. It's another all together to lie to people about it and try to get sympathy because you're "ill". Ummmm...yeah, you're ill.

I have to wonder how long she thought she could keep up the lie? When you're going to tell a lie like that, you don't tell anyone the truth because eventually it's going to come out. You'd think by now she would have learned (as I have) that lots of those people she thought were trustworthy aren't. Because they talk when you ask them not too. I guessed that's what she was up to awhile back (because she's not smart enough to keep something like that to herself...she is always working at getting herself noticed, whether it's talking about stories she's written or what-have-you...she needs the attention), but her "friends" confirmed it. Very, very few people in that circle we both ran with are trustworthy. Liars, backstabbers, bitches (both male and female).

There's more but right now I have to get in the shower or I'm going to be late for lunch. I probably won't get another chance to update until I get home Monday night. Then I might be too tired to do anything. We'll see. I'll try to get pictures posted soon. If you're on facebook, some of them are already up.

July 5, 2009

Evening Update

Did y'all have a good Fourth of July? Mine was good. Kinda lazed around the house all day and then got ready to meet Amber and Nate and the family. Ron White was good. I laughed so hard I cried for much of the show. Very funny. His opening act was pretty good too.

I didn't get to see any fireworks, and that's a very sad thing. I love the fireworks, and I missed all of them. *sigh* Matt has saved a fountain for me, so I'll get to see a little something when I get back to Hattiesburg. One of the things that Ron White said last night was that the timing of the show was messed up, and that's true. He said if the'd started at 10 rather than 8, we all could ahve seen fireworks. Which is true. Damn the Peppermill.

Speaking of the Peppermill, I of course, haven't been there in forever. They've done some extensive remodeling in the last several years. Not that it wasn't nice before but it's incredibly nice now. Wow. I'm not sure that I agree with the Tuscan theme, given the way the place looks from the outside and the way the casino floor still looks (some of that art work is ridiculously out of place), but whatever works for them. Dinner wasn't the greatest, but not everything can be perfect.

I think that perhaps I've been around people too much recently. I'm beginning to get snaggley. The little things are bothering me, and they totally shouldn't be. But they are. I'm going to Lassen Tuesday, and I think it'll be good for me to get up there. Wednesday I'm going to Tahoe with Desiree and the kids, and I think that will be good for me too. Then on Thursday, I'm heading off to Zion and starting the trip home to Mississippi.

I'm not sure what I'm doing tomorrow other than waiting for my debit card and Steve's meds to show up. I guess maybe I'll take myself to lunch. Sushi? Probably since it's so cheap here.

I've been on the computer most of the day (except when I was napping), so I should probably get off of here. I'm sure there's something else I could be doing. Or should be doing.

July 4, 2009

Morning Update

For some reason I can't figure out how to update the site on my new blackberry. It lets me into the area that I need to be in, but then it won't let me click on the folders that I need to. And when I'm not home, that means that updating is a hit or miss proposition. Sorry. I'll try to do better, but I can't make you any promises.

It's the Fourth of July! Do y'all have any plans? I kinda wish I was in Mississippi. The last couple of years I've been at Cook-Out for Cops with the Jaycees and then out to Gumbo Acres for the pool. Matt is having a big to-do out there tonight, and I'm sad to be missing it. Besides the people (my friend TaTa is in town and I'm not getting to see her *pout*), I think I really miss the fireworks.

I might love fireworks almost as much as I love Christmas lights. There's just something about it. I get transfixed. I'm slightly embarrassed that I'm so easily entertained, literally mouth-hanging open, but there it is. I sent Matt a text and told him to save a fountain for me in case I don't get to see any pretty combinations of explosives.

My plans for the fourth include updating this thing. Maybe taking my puppy for a walk, and then heading to the Peppermill. Amber's in-laws are up for the holiday and apparently it's hanging poolside, having dinner, and then going to see Ron White. Sounds like a good time to me, plus I'll get to see Nate. I love Nate! Not that I don't love Amber; I've just gotten to see her in the last couple of days. Not sure about Ron White, but it's a small price to pay to spend time with folks that I love.

I think the bank stuff is finally figured out. Such a headache. I will definitely be switching when I get home, and I cannot ever recommend PNC Bank (or National City, whom PNC acquired) to anyone. My debit card was supposed to be deactivated last week. When I called on Thursday (was told I could do it on Wednesday and when I called on Wednesday, they said nope, call back on Thursday), it hadn't been deactivated. What? Are you kidding me? My paycheck and a supplemental (which was more than my paycheck) went into my account on Friday. I'm just lucky that none of that money was touched by the damn thieves. Then they tried to tell me that they wouldn't send my card expedieted --for free-- because there hadn't been any bank error. Ummmm...excuse me? After being on hold for 15 minutes, the bimbo that originally told me she couldn't waive the fee somehow was able to waive the fee. Imagine that? So. Card should be here on Monday or Tuesday, and I'm watching my account like a hawk. Bitches.

Because the card will be here, the plan for heading to Mississippi and then on to Louisville are as follows: leave Reno on Thursday the 9th. Head south on 95 and then east at Tonopah. Make my way to St. George and then Zion National Park. I will camp somewhere around there Thursday night. The next morning I'll be up to see the Grand Canyon. After that, it'll be cooking on home to Hattiesburg on I-10, cutting north at New Orleans. I've never gone the southern southern route, so that might be interesting. The Sner said the mileage is about the same (might be a little further to go south) and since I've not been that way before...that's the decision. I'm hoping to be in Hattiesburg on Saturday the 11th. Gonna be a long drive. Ughh.

Reminds me that I need to run by Trader Joes and stock up on snacks and food for the trip...and get some beer to take home with me. Good beer that can't be had in Mississippi or Kentucky. If I'm sweet maybe I'll share it. Maybe.

Spent a couple of nights out at Ambers. Had a lovely day on Thursday. We went by her school to get recycling then headed to the Atlantis sushi bar for lunch. Wandered through the new shopping center in Sparks and caught Public Enemies (it was OK but I felt ike I'd seen the movie a few times before...the story is familiar and the movie didn't bring anything new to it). We had dinner with the Sner and her boy. We watched another movie at home. It doesn't sound like much, but it was a great day. It doesn't take much to make me happy.

Cob stayed with me out at Amber's. She has three dogs: a yellow lab, a weimaraner, and an airedale. Sweet doggies, but three big dog like that are a bit overwhelming for my low-rider. Poor thing spent most of her time hiding in the bedroom or in the corner. I think towards the end, on Friday, all of them including Cobbler, were ready to play, but Cobbler just didn't know how to play with all three of those big dogs at once. Becaues it was the three of them against her. They're a bit much. It was OK, though. Thursday night, when Cobbler had enough of Max (the yellow lab) pawing at her, she was snapping at him. Not quite sure he was prepared for that from her.

We had some great conversations too. Big things are happening for Amber and Nate, and I'm so happy for them! We also talked quite a bit about me and where I'm headed with this life...

...which brings me to another thing. I apparently am an awful judge of character. I guess it's not wise to put your trust in addicts and alcoholics. Who knew? I typically want to believe that it's not wrong to trust someone and that if they choose to betray your trust, then that is about them...not you. But when you keep trusting them...that's about you. Gotta say that while the boy hurt me, I don't think it was malicious on his part. I think he just can't help himself. Doesn't mean to be a prick bastard but it happens. Nothing personal about it and really it's about him and his issues. Others, though...not quite so much.

But that leads me to question what I'm doing or where I'm going. Who can I really trust? Who's going to be lying in wait to betray me or threaten me or just be a pathetic little bitch? How do you know that someone is going to be who they present themselves as? And how do you keep yourself safe from the bastards who aren't who you think they are? There is much about me that no one knows...for all I put it out here and in other places. There's still that will never see the light of day because I have no real idea who I can trust with it, who's going to use it at a later date.

That was one of the conversations that Amber and I had. Sometimes you just have to leap. I don't know if I'm ready to leap. It's a scary thing. I'm pretty sure it's a soft landing this time, but I've thought that before only to be proven wrong. I really want to trust and believe. I do. But. I see people all the time who aren't what they seem. Who talk about loving their wives and are sending dirty text messages or making propositions to women who aren't their wives. I see women who are supposedly upstanding and moral slithering on their bellies like snakes. And I wonder when they're being the perfidious bitches they are...if they remember that more people know about them than they think and whether they worry about who they've mistakenly confided in, or wonder what they've let slip when they're at the bottom of their bottle? Or do they count on other's honor and discretion while forgetting that they themselves possess any?

And trust me...I know I can be a snarky bitch. I get it. I understand I'm struggling with some of the issues that I'm talking about. There has to be something about me that attracts those kinds of people to me.

I suppose the end result of all that rambling is that a decision has to be made, though. The time is coming because it's not fair for me to let my cyncism and distrust hurt someone else. So give in or get out. One or the other. It's time. I think I know what the decision is but it's still a scary thing.

In other news, the Sner and I went to San Francisco last weekend. It was a fast trip. Left on Sunday afternoon and were back on Monday. We did Fisherman's Wharf (including Ghiradelli Square's soda fountain...yummy ice cream; Cioppino's for dinner where I had an excellent basil gimlet; and the cable cars) and Golden Gate Park with the San Francisco Botanic Gardens and the Japanese Tea Gardens. It was Gay Pride weekend in San Francisco, and I have to tell you that there were some interesting sights. As we were looking for the hotel (which really was like country come to town for us), we turned down an alley to make a block. Sitting on a stoop, pants around ankles, there was a guy furiously masturbating. I'm not a prude, but I was like, whaaaaaaat? LOL! I'd say that was the most interesting of all the sights. Other things were just like, eh.

I made the Sner walk quite a bit. Up hills and then down them. Kinda felt bad about it because of her bad knee. It's been a long time since I was in San Francisco, and it's easy to get turned around. It's nice to have the GPS on the phone. It helped us find Good Vibrations. *grin*

Y'all see the news about Sarah Palin? Good lord there are still people out there who think that she has a shot as President of the United States. I seriously don't understand it. Charisma. OK. Whatever. But she just quit a job that she was elected to because she couldn't be effective at it. If she can't handle that kind of pressure, how do people think that she can handle being the President? She's always been out of her depth. Sure she might spend the next year or so brushing up, but the truth is that she didn't have the ability to think on her feet or to know that she was in over her head. She can't learn that in a year. The campaign is going to start again soon...and she's still not going to be ready.

Perhaps the saddest thing is she might be the best that the Republican party has to offer. I'm a liberal at heart (duh) but at the same time...I think it takes all of us to make this country work. We need a balance and we need the best that's available on both sides of the aisle. When we're challenged by our equals, we have to become better ourselves. We need tempering by our opposites and people who realize that we cannot go it alone.

I'm watching The Revolution on the History Channel. It's a nice way to spend Independence Day. Lots of stuff that I had forgotten.

Anyway. I've got to get out of here and get on my way. I need a shower and need to run an errand or two.