January 31, 2011

Evening Update

I think it's going to be another early night. I need to be working on the reading program stuff but for some reason I'm not. Self-sabotage. *sigh* It's an ugly thing. I'll get up early tomorrow morning and get it all put together. I've done the hardest part, which is find the article. You have no idea who hard it was to find something that would be of interest to boys and something that had enough "heft" to it to work for the timed reading test that students have to take. Ugh. I spent probably three hours today searching for something. I kept thinking I wanted to do something with the Super Bowl, but it wasn't happening.

I suppose while I'm waiting for my soup to cook down, I could be working on numbering the paragraphs and the word counts. Reading the article and putting together the questions. Maybe I'll do that in the next 30 minutes.

Cob and I ran again tonight. It was a decent run, although I screwed up the time, which was annoying. I have to refresh my memory on how to "lock" the screen. I was wandering around for the warm-up and the time wasn't going by. *sigh* I don't know if Cob gets to go for a run with me anymore. Bless her heart, even if she does her business before we start running, the process of trotting shakes everything down, which means that some point along the way, she's going to have to do her business again. That is frustrating to me because that means I have to stop running and wait for her. And then I have to pick her business up. And carry it with me as we finish our run. That is extremely annoying. So I'm kinda thinking that if I continue to run outside, then I'm going to have to run and leave myself enough time in the evening to take the doggie for a walk. It would be good for both of us if I did that.

Before I go to bed, I've got to have the soup finish cooking. I have found the ham bones. They are in the pot boiling out. I want the marrow to come out like in the recipe. Which means a lot, a lot, a lot of cooking. I may turn it off and then go back to it in the morning when I get ready to get to work on the reading program. Even then, though, I don't know if boiling it for four hours tomorrow morning will get me where I want to go. I suppose it might. In the meantime, though, I guess I'll go on and turn the stove off so it can cool a little before I put it in the fridge.

I have some chills and my throat is killing me. I know it probably sounds like I'm sick a lot, but I don't think I'm as sick as I usually play. It's easy for me to get whiny here. Most of the time I have the sniffles and such. There's a nasty bug going around right now, though. People are winding up out of work a week or so at a time. I really don't want to think about that. I can't be out of work that long. So I suppose that this is my cue to get my vitamins out, huh?

It's the last day of the first month of the year. Hard to believe that we've already made it through 1/12th of the year. How are you coming towards your new year's resolutions? I had five resolutions. Of those five, the first three are going OK. Not completely committed to the first or the third, but I'm getting there. the looking for a job thing is not really in gear. I've done some preliminary searches, but beyond that, not much. I'm thinking about putting together an application packet this weekend. And the last one...well. I have made no progress whatsoever on it.

Going to bed. See y'all in the morning.

Morning Update

I'm waiting for the internets to come to life. They had a strong pulse when I was at the apartment, but as soon as I got to school, apparently they died. So far, attempts at resuscitation have failed miserably. That means that there is very little that I can get done right this minute. In about 10 minutes, I'll make my rounds of the building to gather up the folders of folks who were here last week so I can replace the stuff in them AND address post cards to students who weren't here. Hopefully by the time I get all of that done, the internets will be working, which means I will be able to get my work done.

Right this minute, I'm tired, though. I've been up since about 2:45. I didn't do any of my work this past weekend, which means I got up super early this morning to do some of it. Not all of it, mind you. Just some of it. As of the time of this writing, I've been up almost 6 hours. That means that tonight when I get home, I'm going to crash. Of course, I will get my run in first, but after that, I picture me heading straight to the bed.

I'm old. *sigh*

Speaking of running, it was such a pretty day yesterday that the doggie and I did our run outside. Yesterday was the beginning of week 8, which means 28 minutes of running. It actually wasn't bad. One of the reasons that I like running on the treadmill is that it forces me to keep an even pace. Last night I was only slightly off my treadmill pace. I think it was mainly due to the beginning of my run. I noticed that I was going awfully slow so I picked it up. According to the GPS feature in my C25K program, my mileage was only a tenth of a mile off too, so that was good to know. I'm still slow as hell, but at least I'm consistent.

It was a pretty crappy weekend here in the 'Ville. Friday night I was grouchy and snaggley. Saturday wasn't much better. I went and got my nails done, and I'm not sure yet how I feel about them. It was much more expensive then it is normally because I got a "deluxe pedicure" and a "select manicure". I'm pretty sure that neither one of them were worth the extra expense, but when you're sitting there at the moment, it's like...uhhhhhh. The deluxe pedicure included what I am positive was a cheese grater on my feet. Then a sugar scrub and a clay masque. The calf/foot massage sucked. The select manicure is the "shellac" manicure. Supposedly lasts 2 weeks. I'm not sure if it's even going to last a week. If it doesn't, I swear I will be back at the manicure place next weekend asking them to redo it. It was twice as expensive as what I normally have done, but the selling point is that it lasts twice as long. We shall see.

January 28, 2011

Evening Update

It's a Friday night, and that's about all I can say about that.

Out of sorts and disgruntled.

It was apparently a good week. I don't really feel it right now.

Another Friday night alone. Another night of wanting something I don't have. Another night of being torn and wishing my life away.

Tomorrow I'll get up and run. Then it'll be off to cleaning my dirty apartment. After that I'll get the manicure and pedicure that I've needed for the last three months. And then it will be all about getting my work done.

There is much happening in the world that deserves mention, but right now I don't care.

January 27, 2011

Evening Update

Today was the launch of my after school reading program. I haven't heard whether I all of the children made it home on the buses. I hope they did, but since that wasn't my part of the job, I'm trying not to worry about it too terribly much.

I suppose the program is going well. Teachers were saying it went well. Kids were working. I'm not going to lie and say that it's not designed to be difficult and a stretch for the boys because it is. It's supposed to be challenging them. These guys are at or near grade-level readers. What I've put together is heavy on the vocabulary development, which is what our boys are weakest in. I'm not dumbing down the reading for them. I'm expecting quite a bit from them. I'm hoping that they will rise to the occasion, and I hope that it produces the results that my boss hopes it will.

I ran around today like a chicken with my head cut off. I took breakfast (and lunch!) but didn't get a chance to have any of it. I didn't even use the bathroom. From about 5 in the morning until 6 at night...no peeing. I took lunch too. Chicken salad and some of those little individual cheddar cheese packs? Didn't even have time to put them in the fridge. Bet that the chicken salad will make me sick tomorrow if I take it for lunch again.

Yesterday was a snow day. They're talking about another storm coming in Tuesday/Wednesday. A snow day now and again is OK...but we're now looking at being done on June 3. Which is a Friday. If I'm moving home, then we'll need to do it that weekend (Matt has a wedding we're supposed to attend the next weekend). I suppose that if I have everything ready to go before Matt gets here on the 3rd, then it won't be that bad. That just means I've got to get ready between now and then. Matt's going to try to come up over my spring break. Think we might head up and spend a couple of days in Chicago. I'm so close, and I've not been. I'm afraid that if I don't go now, I won't go. I'm sure I can get a room cheap; we can probably leave Cob with Chichi and the Cabana Boy. But Matt can take some of my stuff home with him then. I bet everything that's behind the blue curtain could go with him then. All of my dissertation research. Pictures from the walls. Some of the kitchen stuff.

The truth is, though, that I've got to go through all of my stuff and get rid of things. I culled things before I moved to MS. I culled again before I moved to KY. I'll be damned if I'm going to drag things I don't use or need across the country again. There's a lot of clothes that need to go. Old movies. CD covers and cases. I need to cull my books again. Plates. Glasses. Dishes. Bowls. All kinds of things can be discarded.

I have a friend who is doing a 100/week blog. The goal is that she and her two children will remove 100 "things" from their lives each week for 52 weeks. I suppose when you've got children with all of their accoutrements, then 100 items per week might be a little more reasonable or easy to understand. I might be able to get rid of 100 things each week for a month. But beyond that? I think that might be difficult, but it certainly something for me to think about in the months leading up to my move to wherever. I mean...there's a lot of crap to carry with me as is. Two queen size beds. A dresser. A couch. A chair. A table and chairs. A television. A ton of stuff. The fewer things that I take that I don't truly need, the more seamless my move will be.

 

January 16, 2011

Very Early Morning Update

I had meant to write earlier tonight but just didn't get around to it. Today has been a waste. I got up with the doggie at 8:15. As soon as I'd gotten her breakfast, I laid back down. The next thing I knew, I was getting a text message from the boy at 12:45. How in the hell did I sleep that long? I could have continued to sleep after that but I went on and got up.

I need to be in the bed now because I have to get up early and get to the car place. Gonna finally do the shocks. *sigh* Not looking forward to adding $1400 to my debt (shocks, oil change, and fuel filter), but it needs to be done. It'll get paid off. Ugh.

Friday was a terrible day. My computer died again. Charlotte's husband has apparently fixed it without any major fits, but it's frustrating that it did it again. I'm wondering if part of my income tax refund might not need to go for a new computer. It's funny that computers are such an important part of my life. This computer is two years old, which is ancient in terms of technology. I had other plans for my income tax refund, but if that's where I need to look then that's what I do.

At any rate, Kevin has fixed my computer. Now I just need to make the jambalaya that has been requested as payment. I went to the store today nad bought everything I needed except the celery. I just didn't feel like getting it started today. I'll make it tomorrow, though, so it is good and tasty when I deliver it to them. Chicken, spicy sausage, some seasoned pork. Should be yummy. Making it from scratch certainly takes a little longer than using the Zatarains, but I think the difference in taste is worth it.

I was going to read tonight, but then I remembered that I'd bought hair dye for a reason. *sigh* My hair is now all one color again, with the pesky silver strands a luscious red. It is also incredibly dry. I think that living up here has done a number on my hair. The almost two decades of dying probably haven't helped either. From what I can gather on the internets, I need to be using a weekly hot oil treatment. Or perhaps a mixture of 3 eggs, 2 tablespoons of olive oil, and 1 teaspoon of vinegar. Once a week. I'm already doing all the things that are recommended like not washing my hair as often (two times a week at most), using heat appliances sparingly (usually just the dryer...although some times the flat iron if I want straight AND smooth), use conditioners liberally (I use a "masque" as a conditioner when I wash my hair and leave it on for while...and then I use a ton of leave-in products). I thin that the only way I can really get my hair healthy again is to quit using the dye. I'm considering going back to my natural hair color this summer. I haven't done that in 10 years...and then it only lasted a couple of months. I couldn't stand the darker color. I suppose, though, that if I want to have kids one day, I'm going to have to get used to the darker color.

Ok, I gotta go to bed. More tomorrow.

January 13, 2011

Evening Update

Lots of thoughts this evening. So very tired, and I'm not exactly sure that I'll get all of those thoughts out. On tap for tonight are the following: student loans and Arizona.

Today I happened to be in the office, listening to a couple of people talk about their student loans...and continuing to go to school so they wouldn't have to pay those loans off. I've been talking lately about not being enthused about repaying my student loans. I really do think that I did a good job of making sure that I didn't graduate with an undue student loan burden. Truly, I have about $23,000 in student loans. For a bachelors, masters, and PhD, I don't think that's too terribly bad. Particularly considering what I was hearing today, what I've heard before. I will never be a poker player, but I think I managed to do a decent job of not allowing my jaw to hit the counter.

I don't know that there's any way to justify debts of $40,000...$50,000...$80,000...$100,000 for education-related degrees. When you figure that the starting salary for a teacher is between $30,000-$40,000 it's completely absurd. How do you ever hope to pay that back on a salary that it's going to top out at $70,000? How do you pay your rent or buy a car or even your groceries when you've got that much debt hanging over your head? I mean, I'm worried about a $250/month payment, and I think my debt was a reasonable amount. I understand why people go back to school so they don't have to pay their loans back, but they finance that going back to school with more loans so they dig the hole even deeper.

I will admit that I'm considering taking classes this fall at USM...those assessment, evaluation, and measurement classes. Partial to delay my student loan payments, but also to gain that knowledge so hopefully I can make a little more money in education. But I wouldn't take those classes if I had to pay for them with student loans. It makes no sense. To avoid paying my debt, I take on more debt. I think a whole bunch of people got burned by that with home equity loans, if I recall correctly. One class is about $1000/semester, which might be hard to swing, but with a budget, it could be done.

If I ever have a child, I don't know that I'll be in a position to help him or her pay for their college education. If I'm not, though, I'll be certain to make sure he or she understands the ramifications of outrageous debt just as you're starting out, particularly if you're going to be entering a profession where the monetary rewards are moderate at best (and I believe that teachers make a decent salary. Not great for the amount of work they put in if they're a good teacher, but it's a decent salary and I won't complain too loudly about the amount of money I make). If that means that full-time attendance isn't possible, then it's not possible. With college education getting more and more expensive, it becomes more difficult to afford it just at the same time that a college education is seen as essential. Catch-22, I know.

I think I've beaten that horse quite enough, eh? Ready to move on?

I didn't get to watch the President's speech last night because I went to bed early so I could get up early and finish the damn newsletter. (finally!) However, I've read the text of it today, and I've watched clips of it. If you were similarly unable to watch, you can find the text and video here. I think it was a good message. I think the President struck the right tone, said the right things. And I know that there are those who will say that I believe that because I am one of his kind...that because I'm a liberal, of course, I agree with the President.

The truth is, though, that I've been saying this for a long time. Even when I couldn't stand President Bush, I strived to remain respectful. I didn't vote for him, but he was MY President. I didn't agree with him, but he was MY President. I try to remember that some of the people I care about the most are not in agreement with my political ideology and that when I rail against the "right", I'm railing against those people I care about. That doesn't mean that I don't slip now and again. I do. I'm a hot head and I get carried away. But I really do try to think before I speak or type.

I can be passionate in my disagreement. Arrogant in my disagreement. Belligerent in my disagreement. I've been known to say the same things over and over again. But I try.

I've learned in the last year that it's really not worth getting too upset about it. I send my representatives letters. I've sent President Obama letters expressing my displeasure with his policies and inability to deliver on what he promised. But arguing with others about politics doesn't lead anywhere productive. They have their opinions and I'm pretty entrenched in mine. I don't want to go any further afield than I already am. I don't want to be radicalized.

On my facebook page, I said that I was disgusted at those trying to score political points by using the tragedy in Tucson to their advantage. Both the left and the right. I am sickened by the level of hypocrisy evinced by both sides. They screech about the other side but aren't willing to own up to the fact that they're doing it too. There is a reason why I don't participate in discussion that were once important to me, why I have left groups that should be aligned with my ideology. I cannot stand the chocking hypocrisy any more. Tit-for-tat and screaming "but he did it too!!!" didn't work when I was a kid; it doesn't work in my classroom; it won't work with my boss; and I cannot accept it from adults who should know better.

The hypocrisy is one thing. The other part of it is that it's just so very unproductive. The last two years of this job have given me so very little tolerance for the things that don't net results. That make things so much harder than they have to be. So cut the crap.

I suppose that's enough for tonight, eh?

Taking the car to get the shocks on Saturday. Not looking forward to that $1300 (along with the oil change I need). But I've put it off for literally years. They first told me that I needed shocks when I was last in Reno.

Yesterday I ran for 20 minutes straight. I've been here before. I've done this before. But it's hard. I'm over half-way through the C25K program, and from what I'm reading, it's entirely possible that I'll be able to run...actually run, if I start training the week after I finish the C25K program...the 10K at the end of March. I'm also beginning to think that I can do the half marathon at the end of April. Training programs are typically 12-16 weeks. There's just enough time. so many decisions to make. So many things to think about.

January 11, 2011

Evening Update

Today has been another day at home. The snow started coming down at 5:00, and at 5:30, the district made the call to cancel school. I kind of hope that they cancel school tomorrow as well. I'm starting to feel better, but I could use another day to do those things that I haven't gotten done today (or yesterday).

I was home yesterday because apparently I was sicker than I thought I was. I called in for a sub and went back to bed. That was at 5:00 or so. I woke up again at 7:00, just pouring sweat. I mean pouring sweat. Got up and came into the living room to lay down on the couch. About an hour after that, woke up freezing to death. Went back to bed. Woke up sweating. Kept repeating that cycle and essentially slept all day long.

Got word today from the Kentucky Dept of Education that they can't accept my doctorate because it's in Adult Education. Gonna have to find out some more about that because they accepted it for my Rank I...and those were ADE hours. So...why then and not now? I'm hoping that doesn't have an affect on what the district says they will do. Funny enough that both Mississippi and Nevada will accept it. They don't care. I should have known that there would be trouble with KY. They are the same people who wouldn't give me a math endorsement...even though I have a math minor, took math methods, student taught in math, have some graduate math credits, and also have a buttload of statistics courses. Makes total sense.

My doggie and I played in the snow for a little while today. She had on her neon rainbow sweater and her pawtectors. She was so funny walking around with the pawtectors on, particularly in the breezeway and on the steps. When she got in the snow, she walked more normally. I've got to get some new velcro for them, though because she was able to kick the front ones off pretty easily. She ran and ran and ran, ass to the ground, stopping every once in awhile to bit the snow or bury her nose in it. After about 15 minutes, I was done and we came on back to the house where she had dinner and promptly passed out, laying on the floor broken-neck style.

My diet hasn't really started, although I'm still running. So far, I'm making progress on one of my five new year's resolutions. Yay me! I have to register for races with the next paycheck. Then I have to start saving for plane fare to Denver. Might have to save both mine and Matt's if he's going to come with me. My new shoes seem to be doing OK. I've run twice in them, and I haven't noticed many problems. In fact, my shin splints aren't as bad, and the cramps I was starting to get in my left calf have gone away. That's progress! And if I can get away with cheaper shoes, all the better. Before the half-marathon, I'm going to have to buy some better running gear. Better sports bra. I wear two currently, and the bottom one is a zip-up. The sipper digs into my chest, cutting me. I'm a little concerned about tomorrow's run. I hate Week Five of the C25K program. You go from running 5 minutes at a time to running 8 minutes at a time to running for 20 minutes. Today's 8 minutes wasn't bad, but I'm dreading tomorrow's 20. That's going to be hellish. I plan to do it on the treadmill so I can maintain a steady pace.

It will be even worse because I've had a bottle of wine. *sigh* It went with the steak and moroccan style couscous that I had for dinner. Which caused me to set off the smoke detector multiple times. I also broiled chicken to put on salads. Three chicken breasts made an entire quart bag of diced chicken breast. It's the hormones in the chickens. There is no way that chicken breasts should be three inches thick. No way.

My Blackberry has started sleeping in my chair. I come out in the morning and there her sweet little self is. One more she was all curled up in my Royals/Cowboys throw, and I'm not at all sure how I feel about that. Once the cat hair gets in, it's incredibly difficult to get the cat hair out. I suppose, though, if that's what makes a sweet kitty happy. *sigh*

Have I mentioned that I don't want to go to work tomorrow? Ugh. Not at all.

I need to contact Dr. Rachal about putting together publication possibilities for my dissertation. I also need to get bound copies of it. The graduate school sent me a copy of my title page with the signatures on it so that's fantastic. I was actually a little worried about that. Like how was I going to have that page in my dissertation if they didn't give me a copy of it? I'm still pretty ticked off that I didn't get a copy of my dissertation. With all that I paid that last semester and over the years, you'd think they could kick in the $52 to give me a bound copy of my dissertation. I would have taken that over a 100 year medal. Which reminds me...I've got to get that along with the announcement framed. Maybe the program? I dunno. Gotta do something with it or it gets all thrown away.

I've got to start going through all of my stuff and winnowing things down so that when I move home, I don't want to drag a ton of stuff back with me that I'm not going to use. I need to go through clothes and get rid of them. Dishes. Not books. I've already been through books once. I just need book cases/shelves for those. Mainly what I need to go through are clothes and the stuff in the entertainment center. Ugh. Or the stuff that's supposed to go in the entertainment center.

January 9, 2011

Evening Update

My body aches. All of it. I think I'm pretty dehydrated, which means I need to concentrate on drinking water. I bought a bunch of propel today at the store. I've had some of it to drink but not as much as I need. I've slept a lot today too. No energy, no power to get moving, nothing. I don't think I'm running a fever, but my head is killing me. I need to go to bed. I don't know if I'm going to make it to work tomorrow because I hurt so terribly right now.

I had fun with the girls last night. Glad I made myself go. It took a long time. We were there from 4:00 until 8:30, and we didn't even do our full glass of wine. We'll be heading back soon to do that since we got vouchers for that glass. Lots of laughing and talk. Lots of drinking of wine. We went through the entire list of wines and got to taste them all. The guy was pretty generous with the pours too. They were probably 1/3-1/2 glasses. Considering that there were 15 wines or so? That's a lot of alcohol. Now, I didn't drink every one that was poured. There were a few that I wasn't all that enamored of, but the rest of them went down pretty nicely. I was a little wobbly when we left. Not so wobbly that I couldn't drive and as soon as we got out into the air, I snapped out of it. I think it had more to do with the fact that we'd been sitting for 4.5 hours.

I slept until about 11 today. Got up and went to the store so I could buy a paper and a few of the things that I couldn't get at Meijer on Friday night. Spent $75. *sigh* I suppose that's what happens when you haven't really been to the store in a month or so.

Having to buy a paper today reminds me that I need to call the CJ and cancel my subscription. I've paid for almost 3 months worth of papers, but I've only received one. That pisses me off. Granted I'm only paying $4/month, but that's on them. They told me that my $4 would get me Sundays and holidays. I've gotten one Sunday. Not cool.

I bought new running shoes on Saturday. I'm a little nervous about them. I need motion control. The shoes I've been wearing for the last 10 years or so have been extreme motion control. The most you can get. The ones I bought on Saturday are "moderate". We'll see how it goes. I figure at any rate, they'll get me through until I can afford to buy my old stand-bys.

I've continued to think about the future. As I was taking the trash out earlier, I had a vision of living in a cute little house on a bayou, obviously on the coast. While the details weren't firm, I got the feeling I was teaching at the post-secondary level. Maybe at a community college. It was a nice little flash of possibility. There is much I can do with this coming year. I just have to be willing to be open to whatever it will be.

Right now, though, I'm going to take myself on off to the bed. Like I said...achey, tired, and cold.

January 7, 2011

Evening Update

I am feeling a little bit better about where my future is heading. I have a plan which will allow me to be able to afford to move home to Mississippi. I have some phone calls to make next week to see if what I think can happen can in fact happen. But I think it can work.

If you've been reading here for any length of time, you know that I frequently have little breakdowns and freakouts. Having them here helps keep me from having them in places where the consequences can be dire.

I started taking my vitamins again this week. A long time ago (two months?), I choked on a handful of vitamins. I take like 30 pills a day so it's easy to have a hanful of them. Now, I choke on them every single time they go down. It wasn't good tonight. We'll just leave it at that. K?

I have plans with some girlie friends tomorrow night. I kinda wish I wouldn't have made those plans because I would like to not do anything tomorrow, but it's good for me to get out and do things with people. I'm tired and I could use a day to jut do nothing. Or to work on the stupid newsletter. Not gonna happen, though. Tomorrow in the morning, I've got to go down to the zappos outlet to see if they have any of my running shoes. The new model has just been released, and becaue they are new, they cost $100. Last year's model, though, is only $50. If I can find it. So far, I haven't found it online. I'm hoping that there will be some in Shepherdsville.

January 5, 2011

Evening Update

How are y'all gonna let me screw up the year on the website? Really? For the last five days no one has bothered to tell me that right above these words, there was a big 2010. Nice. Real nice.

Crappy, crappy day. More to come.

I could barely stay awake this morning. I slept like five hours last night, which is on the long-ish side for me. I don't usually sleep more than five hours a night during the week. I could have slept in my office this morning, though. Even as I was sucking down the coffee. I don't know what was going on, but I certainly hope that tomorrow morning isn't as bad.

I was kinda hoping that there would be a snow day on Friday. They were predicting that the snow would start falling around midnight tomorrow night, and there would be 1-3" of snow on the ground by 8:00 Friday morning. Now they're saying maybe half an inch by 8:00? Criminey. I could use a day to sleep in and get caught up, but I don't think that's gonna happen.

Matt has started planning for the future, and I suppose that means that I need to plan for the future as well. The problem is that I'm not sure exactly what my plans are going to be...and I'm not sure if our plans fit together very well right now. On the surface they do, but when I scratch a little deeper, I'm not so sure. I want to pay off debt and save money. I don't know how I can do that...realistically...if I'm moving back to Mississippi. I'm going to take a 1/4-1/3 paycut. My expenses will be greater because I'll have student loan payments to make. The cost of living isn't that much cheaper in MS. The cheapest I could find somewhere decent and safe to live would probably be $500/month...which is only $250 less than what I'm paying now, and to be honest, the way that Hattiesburg in particular has changed, I think I'll probably be paying about the same.

I don't know how to make it work mathematically. Are there things I could cut? Sure. I could do without the internet ($35/month), although I shudder at the thought, and I could cut back to just a regular phone ($40/month), which again makes me twitch. The little things I spend my money on would probably cut $100-150/month. But that $200-250/month is what my student loan payment will be, and does nothing to address the issue of having to take a substantial paycut, if I can even find a job. Until he gets himself straight, it's going to be hell for me.

Coming home is primarily about being with him...and if I'm not going to be with him because he can't afford it, then I can be miserable in my job here and I won't have the additional stress of wondering how I'm going to afford to eat or get to work. I can just as easily spend the money to make a trip every couple of months and save myself at least that measure of stress. We all know that I can get myself stressed out more easily than most.

In Louisville, I'll be making $60,000 next year.

It makes my head hurt, which means I'm going to stop thinking about it because my head hurts anyway.

The dog and I ran tonight. We have no completed week four of the C25K program, which means I'm 2/5s of the way done. I have to register for the Triple Crown (if I were in MS, I'd just be running on the Trace or through the countryside like Forrest Gump. I wouldn't be registering for any races because I couldn't afford to register for the races). Diet starts on Sunday. *sigh*

January 4, 2011

Evening Update

It's not another good day in the education world. I'm so very fed up...and there's still another six months to go. I have no idea how I'm going to make it through. I've said that before, and somehow, one foot in front of the other, I've survived. I suppose that's how I've got to look at the next six months of my life. One foot in front of the other until it's over.

Sometimes I wonder. A lot. Have no idea if I'm making the right choices.

I never know where I'm supposed to be. I wish there was some big flashing sign that said "HERE" so I could be sure. I need to think about jobs and where I'm going to apply, what I'm going to do, who I'm going to be. I would start looking for positions now, but they aren't posted or available now. Where I can look is broader now.

January 3, 2011

Evening Update

Today is one of those days when I am not proud to be a teacher. I am completely disgusted by what testing has done to education in this country. Teaching to the test is real, and as tests have taken on greater importance to whether school districts continue to receive funding or whether teachers have jobs or whether administrators can keep their six-figure salaries, our children are short-changed. When the only subjects that count are math and reading comprehension, then those are the only things that will be taught.

Much of this testing crap came about because students were graduating from high school (or weren't graduating) without the necessary skills to be able to succeed in college or the world of work, and now, 20-25 years into the testing regime, we are no closer to producing successful graduates. If writing doesn't count towards keeping your job, why should you teach writing? If science isn't tested in a particular year, why teach the problem-solving and critical thinking skills associated with scientific thinking? If you know that the bulk of a test will be basic recall and comprehension, why bother teaching about metaphorical thinking?

Whatever happened to needing an educated populace? Education is compulsory in this country because it is so important. You face fines and possible jail time if you don't send your child to school. Something so incredibly important...we've reduced to the lowest common denominator. We tell children and their families that education is the key to their futures, and then we give them an education that doesn't give them to the keys to anything.

Instead of doing what's best for children, we do what's best for the adults in charge of things. Wanna keep your job? Then raise those test scores by hook or crook. Screw the kids in the meantime.

So frustrated right now.

Back in Kentucky. Obviously. I didn't want to come back. I wasn't ready, and the fact that the next couple of months are going to be horrible doesn't make it any easier to be here. I won't have time to go home again until March 4th, but with gas at $3.00+/gallon, I don't know if I'll really be able to afford to go. Considering that spring break will be a month later, it could make things a little tight. I don't know if Matt will able to get up here in the meantime. I suppose three months isn't all that long.

 

I wanna do something fun for spring break. Maybe the beach? A mid-week trip might be feasible. Like a Tuesday-Wednesday thing? That might not cost too much. Although it is spring break week. *sigh*

I did not run tonight. I meant to come home and take a little nap and then get going. I also meant to come home and get to work on all those things that I need to do for work. But I didn't do either of those things. Had to charge the phone (so I couldn't run) I'm not ready to face the prospect of the newsletter. Which means that tomorrow night will be hell. Putting that thing together is terrible. I hate it, hate it, hate it. *sigh* But I will do it tomorrow night, and it will be wonderful. Then I will be ready for the meeting Wednesday afternoon. Good deal.

I think I'm breaking out in hives. At first I thought it was my perfume, and a little of it may be. However, I begin to think it might be stress. My scalp itches. My forehead. The outside of my hips. Maybe it was sleeping on the sheets at Matt's which are washed in detergent that isn't fragrance free. It's driving me insane, though. I've scratched myself raw in some places. Unintentionally but it's there regardless. I may be bloody by the morning if I don't pass out.

I think I was a really good girl last year. I got quite a few of the things on my Christmas list. *grin* In fact, I just spent the last thirty minutes framing my diploma. Now I just have to figure out where I want to hang it. Do I want to take it in to my office? And if I don't, where in the house do I want to hang it? In the past, my diplomas and certificates were on the wall in the spare room since it was my "library". Not quite the same now. I don't know if I want to take it to work, though. I actually liked the matte that was in my master's frame better than the matte with this new frame, but this frame is better. So...I switched things around. Now I need to figure out how to frame the announcement, the medal, and the program. Those things are going to have to be framed if they hang around. The PA wants me to bring home as little crap as I can, which I must say is a really good plan.

 

January 1, 2011

Evening Update

Sitting here in the quiet of the fading first day of the new year. The PA is taking a nap, but I'm a little wired, thinking about all the things I haven't done during the past two weeks and how I'm going to manage to get all of them done in the next couple of days. I could start on some of them now, but I don't really want to. I suppose if I leave early enough tomorrow, I'll have time to get a little of it done tomorrow night. I'll have to be pretty diligent to get things done after that.

It's been a good, last couple of days here at Gumbo Acres. The rain held off last night and we had a good time for New Year's Eve. The fireworks were, as always spectacular. There was fire and food and drink and fun. I made what I now believe will be the traditional NYE gumbo, using the carcass of the Christmas turkey. I was a little worried about the gumbo because I think I added the turkey stock to the roux too quickly, but it came together nicely. Everyone seemed to love it, so that's a bonus.

I got up early and hit the pavement with Cobbler. Then it was a shower and over to the big house to get ready for the game. Mississippi State won so all are happy here in Bulldog land. It was fun to watch them so excited. Got some video of Matt and his daddy doing a chest pump. He wants me to put it up on youtube, so I will.

Have been thinking about the new year and my resolutions. Last year I really had two: to graduate and to come home. I suppose that 1 out of 2 isn't all that bad. This year I'm going to have five...maybe six. They say it helps to write your goals down, so here goes: