Daily Wonderings

January 2010

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• colored my hair. I like the color but I'm afraid that I didn't quite get it all over. Even though I kept pouring the product on, working it through my hair, combing it through to the ends. I am reminded of why I pay someone to do this for me, other than the time it takes me to do it myself. Particularly with my shoulder hurting, holding my arms up over my head in order to apply the product is exhausting. Then there's the washing it out. I rinsed and rinsed and rinsed. Just when I thought the water was clear, it was tinted orange again.
• Vacuumed. I'll be honest and say that because I've been working on this stupid dissertation, I haven't vacuumed since I got back from Mississippi. It was time. I didn't do the best job because I intended to work on my dissertation, but I feel better about the state of my house.
• Swept and mopped. (see above)
• Wiped down the counters and stove in the kitchen.
• Cleaned the other sink in the kitchen. The one where the dish drainer resides. Yeah, it was nasty under there, and I couldn't take it anymore.
• Got all of my contacts in my new iphone. When things synced from my SIM card and my Windows address book, not everything transferred. It's been a pain to go contact by contact to see who was updated and who was not. I apparently know way too many people and I need to cull that list.
• Finished the shopping I started last night. I hate these shopping trips. It was expensive. You know...the shopping trips where you're out of all the staples and have to replenish? Except when I say "replenish", I mean with things like cat and dog fud and cat litter. That stuff is costly ($50 at Petsmart). Then there was the sugar and the sweetener and the toilet paper and paper plates and paper towels. All of that stuff adds up. I'd thought about maybe Thai for dinner tonight, but when I did a quick tally of how much I'd spent today, I decided that ordering one of Papa John's $10 pizzas was more cost-effective.
• Got the laundry going. I was going to say "almost done", but that's not true. I've done three loads of laundry, and I think I have probably 3 more to go (towels, linens, whites...keep in mind I have a small washer)

My shoulder is killing me again. It's been hurting lately, but it's particularly bad tonight. Which reminds me that I need to go get the ice pack. Last night I carried in the 35 pounds of dog food, 22 pounds of cat food, and 40 pounds of cat litter, in addition to all the groceries. Then it was taking out the trash (along with the cat poo bucket...which was 40 pounds). Hauling out the vacuum this morning probably didn't help either.

Kind of upset tonight. I think I'm going to have to take something in order to get to bed. It's been one of those days. I'm upset that I didn't get any work done. Stress building.

January 21, 2010

Evening Update

I am so tired. Last night I was in bed and out by 6:30. The night before, I was asleep by 8:30. Tonight I've had my shower, washed my hair, and gotten ready for bed. I need to have some dinner, but I think as soon as I've eaten. Exhausted. That's the only way to describe me. I don't know why, I don't know what's wrong, but I'm extremely fatigueed.

Because I've been sleeping, I haven't been working on my dissertation this week. I'll get it taken care of this weekend. Still hoping to have it finished up and shipped out. I wanted it to be there by tomorrow, but that's just not going to happen. If I work all day Saturday and Sunday, then it should be pretty much finished.

That means I have to get all of my errands done tomorrow afternoon/night. Gotta go by the AT&T Store, PetsMart, the grocery, and Wally World. And the Beauty Supply so I can color my hair again tomorrow night. Might ought to swing by the liquor store too. *sigh*

Last weekend, on facebook, I'd made a friend request to Dax's mom. She accepted. I was thinking about her and wondering how she'd been, what was happening in her life. We were friends for a couple of days, and then she apparently unfriended me. That hurts a little bit. I'm not sure why because that's been over for a long time. But still. Why bother accepting in the first place? I removed her link from my page because the site no longer exists. Not sure what that's about, but I suppose it doesn't really matter in the first place, does it? I talked with Beth this evening, and it appears June will be my month. Life is full and everything is moving along in ways that I couldn't have hoped for before. I think that's why I went looking for my past in the first place. Not because I want to reconnect with the past or live in it again.

Yeah. So. Anyway. Going to bed.

January 18, 2010

Evening Update

Well. The Cowboys did not win. That means that Matt and I can speak to each other this weekend. Y'all pull for a Saints victory. Lots other than a Super Bowl birth hinges on it. *grin*

I did not get as much work done on my dissertation as I wanted to. However, the good thing about what I did get done is that I think it's pretty comprehensive. I'm a little worried that my chair is going to make a comment about how I don't have a lot of up-to-date sources, but I have two answers for that: there's not a lot of up-to-date research with regard to my topic and the qualitative nature of my study means that my literature review does not have to be comprehensive, merely set the stage and more literature will come in to play during the data analysis. So. I'm doing the overviews in broad strokes, and I'm hoping that it will be enough to get me to the next stage of the game. I'm not even going to entertain what happens if it's not. Repeating my mantra of not borrowing trouble.

So I spilled coffee on my phone. I've got it in a bag of rice, hoping that the little problem with the keys takes care of itself. I'm sure it will. Very little coffee actually got on the phone (most of it was on the case on the back of the phone). I suppose it's a good thing that I'm planning on getting a new phone on Friday (a colleague's husband is selling his iphone since his work is supplying him with a phone). I'm a little worried that my alarm won't work in the morning. I typically use the alarm clock and my phone. It's my phone that really wakes me up, though. I suppose I could take it out and turn it on again, but I can do without it. I swear.

I've done a little other writing the last couple of days. Nothing that I'm ready to put out there for the rest of the world to consume. I'm trying to work through some stuff in my head and the writing helps. The problem is, though, that I can't get it to where I need it to be.

My shoulder is killing me. For the last week or so, when I've woken up, my right hand has been numb. That's not a good thing, and I know that I need to go to the doctor. Next week. I don't have time this week.

January 16, 2010

Evening Update

I do not like being a football widow. *sigh* I get it, but I don't like it. Makes me a little snaggley.

Speaking of that, the Saints have won this evening. If the Cowboys win tomorrow, we will play the Saints in the 'dome next weekend. Should that day come, I think it'll be a good thing I'm a football widow. If the Cowboys win, the MS famdamily might not speak to me for awhile. That's the game that determines who goes to the Super Bowl.

I spent today at a workshop, and while the workshop was good, what really came out of it was some good lines for a poem. The problem is cohesion. I need to figure out how to put them all together and have it be something that is meaningful. It's a love poem...of sorts...which means that the potential exists for it to be maudlin and sappy. Vomit inducing really. However. I don't think that's where it's heading. I bit more...esoteric, I suppose. Right now I have three lines that I really like. The first three lines, but I know that in looking at some of the other lines, that there's a lot of potential in there. I get the feeling that maybe it's not really a poem. Maybe it's an essay. I don't have the time to play with it like that right now, though. That will have to wait until round one of the dissertation is done. I do think, though, that I'd like to type it out line by line and then cut it into strips. Maybe figure out which pieces of it go where. Which ones need to be eliminated. I'm not a poet, so I don't even know if that would help me. But I'd like to give it a shot.

Speaking of the dissertation, my intention is to substantially have chapter two finished up by Monday. I'm going to work on it tomorrow and Monday. I'm feeling better about it in a lot of ways. I've read through chapter three, I've had a couple of people look at it. It's OK. The other intention is to have chapter one finished up next weekend. Then the whole thing gets shipped off to my chair on that Monday...the 25th? He'll receive it by Wednesday, and that means that two weeks from then, I'll get it back to make corrections. It can then go to my committee. Two weeks after that, I'll defend. I'm anticipating that will happen at the end of February/early March. Kinda nervous about the whole thing, but I'm sure it's going to be fine. I'm not borrowing trouble any more. It is what it is and I'll be fine with having it done.

I'll be honest and say that I haven't done any real work on my dissertation this week. It's hard for me to work on it during the week. It's hard to shed the work mantle and get in the frame of mind that I need to work on the dissertation. I figure if I put in a bunch of time on the weekends, then it all evens out. I could be wong about that, but it's working for me right now.

The doggie and I went for a short walk this afternoon when I got home. It was nice, and she enjoyed it. We need to be doing that more often. I was going to say that maybe Cob and I could do that tomorrow morning, but I anticipate I'll be sleeping in. I am enjoying a martini...or two...or three...which means that I'll probably get up with her around 8, and then go back to bed.

For some reason, my Peach cat has been out the last couple of days. Maybe our last seperation has led her to realize that if she wants some love from her Momma, she's going to have to get further than the bed in the spare room. Or maybe it's the kitty rack that has lured her out of hiding. Whatever it is, she's been awfully loving lately. Except when she turns and bites the shit out of me. Then again, maybe she's sick. She is 14? 15? years old? I am reminded that I love her quite a lot.

I think I've finally found the photos that I want to send to Shannon. *sigh* It's taken me forever combing through what I've got to decide which one I think might work best. I still will probably need to go to a photo shop in order to get it printed. I think maybe I'll print it for a couple of people, though. It's a beautiful pic, and I think there are several people who might like to have it. So. I need to actually see about uploading it to say snapfish or shutterfly and see what they say about it.

I need to do my taxes. Got my W2 on Friday. I think I still need to get a statement from USM for my credit there, although I don't know if it really make a difference.

This evening, when I went out to buy olives and get dinner, I decided to take the pizza box out to the trash. All I wanted to do was throw the pizza box away. I swear to god that people are stupid. Incredibly stupid. There was all sorts of trash piled up in front of the dumpster. I had to crawl over heaps of trash to get the door and open up the compactor. Yeah, give the trash a little push, and there's room for more. Because I have a sickness when it comes to trash (I've been known to take other people's trash out because I can't stand an over-flowing trash can), half an hour later, most things were cleaned up. I didn't pick up the loose trash, but if it was bagged up, I tossed it in the compactor. Three cycles. It really was getting full by the time I was done.

Now, of course, my shoulder is killing me from throwing all those bags in the trash. For some reason, my right thumb is killing me too. Right hand and foot are swollen. Yes, I know I need to go to the doctor. It's on my list of things to do.

I need to go to bed, but I'm having too much fun.

January 14, 2010

Evening Update

The images coming out of Haiti are breaking my heart. It is an incredibly awful situation. The window for search and "rescue" is closing; it will soon become more of a search and "recovery" mission. Not that it wasn't already because with that level of destruction, that is inevitable. However, whatever hope there might have been is swiftly fading. I cannot imagine. I cannot even begin to imagine.

I feel like I should be doing something. I've sent what I can afford right now; I will send more in a week. My friend TaTa does mission trips to the DR; I wonder if there will be trips in the coming months/years (because this will be long-term) to Haiti to help rebuild. Maybe this summer. Maybe next.

Bless them as they struggle through the next several days. May they find comfort at the moment that they need it most. And for those who are suffering, may their journeys be swift and sure. May they know that they are not alone and are not forsaken in during this time of desperation.

It has been a trying couple of days. It seems like each of the last two days, I've stepped in it in a major way. That's OK, though. I don't regret anything I've said. I know that I needed to say it. The problem comes in dealing with the fall-out. One of the things that I told my principal at the beginning of the year was that I hoped being around Cindy would teach was how to have those difficult conversations with people without it being an ugly, confrontational conversation. How do you allow people to retain their dignity while at the same time broaching the issues that need to be addressed? Cindy is very good at doing that the right way. We had a conversation about it this afternoon, and she said it's often about switching from a passive to an active stance. That goes against my nature because I want to cut to the chase. I don't want to waste time. When I now that we've got so much stuff that we've got to do, I am uncomfortable pussyfooting around. However. I do recognize the results that she gets.

It's interesting in that I recognize what she's talking about. I often edit and re-edit emails and texts and posts to try to remove some of the brusqueness, to mitigate a little of the harshness, to soften the edge. I often take awhile in my personal conversation to carefully construct my responses. At work, though, I just plunge ahead.

You may be thinking, that's nice but what have you done to get yourself in trouble once again. Well.

I signed in late yesterday morning. Actually, I wasn't late. I was on time but because the clocks in the building aren't consistent, the office decided that I was late. Whatever. I chose not to respond to that little problem. (other people did because there were a lot of people who got a warning email yesterday) And then we had a gawd-awful PD. It wasn't actually a PD. It was the AAL talking to us. She was giving us the summary of the book she was reading and exhorting us to use gender specific strategies to teach our boys. A lot of what she was saying, though, was bullshit. She was giving us a completely uncritical reading of this book.

I finally couldn't take it any more when she said that affluent people usually hold their children out of preschool and kindergarten because they recognize that their children don't necessarily need to be in school that long. Poor people, on the other hand, send their children to headstart because they need to utilize it as a daycare. Ummmmmm...are you smoking crack? I spoke up and said I'd like to read that actual research because that goes against what we know about how people lobby to get their children into decent preschool programs. Pay tens of thousands of dollars a year to attempt to provide their children with an advantage. And instead of just letting me go, she had to make up some bullshit on the spot about how the author was right.

*sigh*

Yeah, I get that. I know that response. I've been guilty of it. But god lord.

Then later at our ILT meeting, the AAL said that she wanted to evaluate lesson plans for gender specific strategies. Thinking with my teacher hat on and knowing how difficult it was to identify gender-specific strategies when I had to do a PD for the staff, I spoke up and said that I didn't know how fair that would be...to evaluate them on things they didn't know how to do. We don't see it in their lesson plans because they don't know what it is. Reading someone your powerpoint is not providing them with gender specific strategies. Letting them try those strategies. And she blew up at that. Fortunately, our area superintendent was in the meeting and she jumped on the idea that teachers need to be given the opportunity to wrestle with the ideas that are being presented. When are they given a chance to explore and then work with those strategies? AAL had to admit that in two years, the staff hadn't been given that opportunity, which is not entirely true. I gave them that opportunity. It was rushed and there was no follow-up. No expectation that they would be expected to do something.

Today is continued fall-out from all of that.

We've discussed this in the past, but here it is again. I have very little respect for men who aren't Men. I am very traditional in some respects, and I'm not at all interested in the metrosexual male. In touch with his feelings is fine. Decently groomed and dressed, hell yeah. But a pussy? A whining, crying, puling pussy of a man pretending to be a woman? No thank you. I respect Men. I appreciate Men. I cannot tolerate else.

In other news, I guess I should be careful what I wish for. I am having a horror-show of a cycle. I hope it's short because I honestly don't know if I could handle 3 weeks of this. I did in the weeks after I got the mega doses of hormones, but I hated every single minute of it. With everything else right now, I just don't think I could handle it.

Gonna get in the shower and hope that helps with the tummy. More tomorrow. Kisses.

January 10, 2010

Very Late Evening Update

The past two days have been spent writing. I've managed to put together Chapter three. It's such an incredibly draining experience. I slept until about 10:30 this morning and then laid back down around 1:30 and took a two hour nap. When I woke up, I was ready to go, but trying to do it earlier, there was no ability to focus.

I still have no faith in my ability to complete this, but I'm forging ahead. Fake it til you make it and all of that other nonsense. It's going to get done. It's going to be OK, and in June, it'll all be over. Nothing to worry about. I've been able to pull the wool over folks' eyes this entire time, two last shows of bravado should be nothing, eh? I mean, people out there actually think that I'm smart and talented. Convincing whole groups of that should be much easier than convincing four people I know what I'm talking about. Right?

Thinking positively, thinking positively. I'm picturing my chair opening the envelope and settling down with chapters 1-3. He's going to ask questions and make notations. There's going to be plenty of red ink because that's the way he is. He may fuss about whether my sources are as up-to-date as they could be. I may have to search out a few that are more current. I'll make the corrections that he suggests, and then I'll send the document on to the rest of my committee. They'll read and make their own suggestions.

A defense date will be set, and I'll drive down to MS on a Thursday night after I get off work. My defense will be early on a Friday morning. Maybe around 9? 10? It'll last about 90 minutes. I'll be prepared to answer their questions. They'll begrudgingly approve the process, and I'll make my way to the IRB to get that paperwork filed post-haste. I'll leave the campus and promptly begin the process of getting wasted. It's going to be a fabulous drunk. Epic proportion.

It'll take a couple of weeks to get the IRB approval and then I'll start conducting my interviews. Transcription will take place, and I'll start the process of putting together an analysis and some conclusions. I'll send the finished product on to my chair, and he'll fuss some more. I'll make the changes he wants, and then it will go to my committee. They'll fuss, and I'll make the changes they want. There will be a a final defense scheduled. I'll have the questions for that one in advance as well, and it will last about as long as the first defense. The questions will be harder for the final time because the stakes are higher, but in the end, because they're interested in seeing me succeed, everything will be approved. They'll sign my four copies of the title page, and I'll be Dr. Alex, officially.

In September, I'll receive my diploma, which will be the same time that I start making payments on my student loans. Maybe someone will sweetly gift me with a lovely frame for it. It will all symbolically be over in December, when I walk across the stage and Dr. Rachal hoods me. Friends and family will be in the audience. I'll remind them before the ceremony that they're not going to a basketball game, and that hooting and hollering is not appropriate; however, I imagine that it won't matter. There will be a to-do at Gumbo Acres afterwards. Lots of drinking and some eating. It'll be a great time, and all of the stress of the last year will have been worth it.

It's going to happen just like that. There will be some tense moments in there for me, but in the end, it's all going to be just fine.

Strangely...or perhaps not so strangely, writing that out has helped me calm down. I feel a little better about the whole thing. I'm just going to need to remember that...keep coming back to it.

There's very little else in my life right now to talk about. My dissertation is, and should be, consuming my life. I did watch some football yesterday (yay Cowboys! I hope they continue rolling. They're playing some decent ball right now...and I think we're capable of beating Minnesota next weekend). I watched a little today as well, but I was engrossed and forgot to turn the television to the right channel. I actually just wrote "to the next page". Guess I've been a little too immersed. Sadly.

I need to go to bed. Work is calling for tomorrow. There are things to do still before I go to bed.

January 8, 2010

Late Evening Update

We had a snow day today. I slept most of it away. The rest of it was spent shopping. *sigh* Hell starts tomorrow morning at 7:30. I'm going to be done by the 18th. Come hook or crook, hell or high water.

I got all of my shopping and errands run today. I don't need to leave the house, other than to walk the doggie and get the paper Sunday morning...although I probably don't need the paper to read anyway since I'll be busy, but there are the coupons if for nothing else than the ones for doggie and kitty treats. The laundry is done as are the dishes. I do need to vacuum, and I suppose that will be a treat maybe Sunday to break up the monotony of writing. Somewhere in there I'm going to make pepperoni rolls as well, but other than those couple of distractions, I'm insulated and isolated and ready to roll this thing up.

I dyed my hair myself this evening. My roots were crazy out of control. I'm not exactly happy with the way it turned out. I suppose that the casual observer can't tell the difference, but I can see it. I think part of the problem was that I picked a lighter color to match my faded ends...and that color wasn't specified as one for a "dark base", which we all know I have. It did, however cover my silver nicely. The important thing is that I can straighten my hair again. In two weeks, I'll pick up another couple of things of dye and go a bit darker this time. We'll see how that works.

I'd go see my girl to get it done, but I don't have time until this dissertation thing gets done. And my hair was awful. Not that my hair itself was awful, but I couldn't straighten my hair anymore because the roots were so bad. At least now I can straighten it and you won't see this totally clear demarcation. Score one for me.

It snowed most of the day, although it wasn't bad when I was out in it. I had one moment of "oh shit" when I hit the brakes and kept sliding. That was of course on what was not a plowed street. As I made the choice to drive through that neighborhood (shortcut home from Wally World) I thought to myself, "This might not be the best idea" but I did it anyway.

The doggie and I made two half an hour walks outside this evening. She knows the rules of the house: poo and get fed. We wandered around for half an hour and nothing. I had to come in because I was so cold. Because I was annoyed with her, I wasn't going to take her back out...she was going to have to sleep in her crate tonight in case she felt like she needed to poo in the middle of the night...but she was looking at me so pitifully that I had to take her out again. You'd think that her, knowing that she wasn't going to get to go to dinner until she did her business would inspire her to get to work. Nope. Not at all. It was another half an hour before we were victorious. *sigh*

All of that is well and good but when Momma doesn't have snow boots and is out in her thick sock sand just shoes, traipsing through the snow, Momma isn't happy.

Tonight I've been looking up Yellowstone bourbon. My grandpa Conrad drank Yellowstone. Interesting. Apparently, even though it was cheap, it was quite good. Back in the day. There are a couple of places, so it seems, online where you can get a bottle. I think I might get one for Matt. If it's bad, it'll still get drunk. One night after a bonfire or whatever. So. I might just do that.

It's a rare night. Blackberry is on my shoulder, Peach is on my right hip, and Cob is at my feet. It's sweet to have all of my children together.

I need to figure out how to organize my necklace collection. I'm not sure exactly that a jewelry box is the right answer. Really the only jewelry that I have (and wear) are my necklaces. You start thinking about it.

My shoulder is killing me. The cold has been aggravating. I also worked something out of place earlier when I took the trash out. It'll be better soon.

January 6, 2010

Late Evening Update

It's been a very long time since I've been here. It will probably be a few more before I'm seriously here again. Tonight, though, since I'm feeling a little stressed and taking a break.

It's a brand new year. How was your Christmas? Your new year?

Christmas in my world was good. I left Louisville and headed directly to Mississippi. Spent most of my time at Gumbo Acres, supposedly working on my dissertation. I did work on it, don't get me wrong. I didn't get as much done as I'd hoped, but I did work on it. I'm committed to the idea that I'll have what I need to have done by the deadline that I need to get it done. I've struggled with the idea of what exactly I'm doing but I think I'm finally making some peace with it. Tomorrow night starts the weekend marathon. Friday will be a day off for me so I can concentrate on it fully. Saturday and Sunday. Next week will have dedicated time, and then next weekend, along with MLK, Jr. Day will be the last big push because it's going to be all over by then. I have no choice at this point.

I suppose that there is comfort in the idea that my horoscope (I know, I know) says that this is the month that big projects will be coming to an end for me. (multiple horoscopes) I'll be reaching a milestone. So. There it is. I look at it like a little push, an affirmation. That little bit of encouragement that gets me over the hump. I kinda need that because I'm still not totally convinced that I can do this.

Other than that, though, Christmas itself was good. I got the coffee grinder that I wanted. Now, that might not seem like a great gift, but it's awesome. I use it every single morning. The coffee is yummy. It was exactly what I wanted, so score. I also got the magazine subscription that I wanted...and the make-up.

Very sadly, though, I think the make-up (the Stila Smudge Pot) is a bust for me. I loved it the first time I used it, and I totally love the line that it gives me. Fine, sharp, thin. The problem with it is the same problem that I had with the Kat Von D product. The line isn't the problem. Ease of application isn't the problem. The problem is the transfer to my upper lids. I recently wore it and at the end of the day, it looked like I was wearing gray eyeshadow. *pout* So. I guess I'm sticking with my Urban Decay liquid liners. Makes me sad. I was so excited about it. *sigh*

For the first week of the trip, my left hip was excruciatingly painful. Constant burning, combined with some sharp, shooting pain. It hurt to walk. I bought a pair of Crocs...like ballet flat ones because I couldn't wear anything else I brought with me. I tried. It didn't work. As suddenly as it came, it went away after a week. Now my other joints are a little painful. My wrists and knees in particular.

I was out with friends just a little. Really, though, it was just hanging out at Gumbo Acres. Mark boiled shrimp for me. Well, I suppose that it wasn't really just for me. I think it was for his daughter too, but I loved it. We cooked and ate and had a great time.

New Years Eve was a good time. Some of my friends made their way to Gumbo Acres, and lots of Matt's friends were there. They bought $400 worth of fireworks and got about $150 free. People were stopping on the road to watch them go off. In between setting off fireworks, we sat around the bonfire.

Poor Matt...when some of my friends arrived, they parked on the very wet ground and got stuck. In pushing them out, he got covered in mud. I mean COVERED. Stripped on the porch and made his way to the shower. I suppose that's some kind of love.

I drank more than I had intended. That's OK, though, we were still up and on the way relatively on time. I think that's some kind of love, too. He didn't drink whiskey on NYE so he'd be more likely to get up...and in fact, he didn't really over-indulge. He drove the whole way (up and back), and he missed the two greatest days of college football of the year. We were able to listen to a couple of the games, but we didn't get great reception most of the time.

We drove up on Friday and came back on Saturday. In between the drive, he met the GrandSner, Cari & Tim (and the babies), and Uncle Wib and Aunt Susan. He endured quite a bit. Particularly the tickling that was perhaps initiated by my telling Addy and Chloe that he was ticklish. You may recall that Addy and Chloe and I play the tickle game.

Funny moments: we stayed in Chloe's room, which is the Pop Star room...bright pink and a little Hannah Montana-y. When the girls were asking when he was getting up, one of them...I wanna say Addy, said, "I hope he rocked it!" Hilarious! They also said that they hoped he was handsome. There were other moments of funniness along the way.

We visited with Aunt Susan and Uncle Wib around lunch time. Another sign that it must be some kind of love: he at the vegetable turkey soup. He doesn't eat cook vegetables, but he did it. As we were driving away, he said that his stomach was already hurting. LOL! We made our way to E's Inn after visiting with the GrandSner so he could get a cheeseburger to make up for the little bit of green. I had the cashew chicken.

Since coming home, I've been starving. I'm not sure exactly what's going on, although I suspect that it's hormone related. I had a three week non-period period, and now...a week and a half later, I think I may already be spotting again. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night sweating. It was awful. I don't know if that's this menopausal night sweat or if it was fever. I have been trying to get sick for a week now. It's very distressing. I suppose that means I need to make an appointment to go back to the doctor. I'll get on that.

In other news, there's been lots of drama at my work this week. Apparently an other woman has not been happy with the way her lover's progress in leaving his marriage has advanced, or more accurately, has not progressed. I think the cardinal rule is that you don't shit where you eat. The other cardinal rule is that men don't leave. I know that she is hurting right now, and I hope that this is a wake-up call for her as she's beautiful and deserves much more. Knowing what I know about those situations, I realize that it may well not be the end. It's one of those things that some times it takes a few hits. I wish there was some way to help her there, but I don't know how to make that overture, and to be honest, I really don't want to make that overture. I don't want to be that exposed to someone that I don't really care for in the first place. At the same time, it's uncomfortable to know that someone is hurting that badly. I'm not a completely heartless bitch.

The lake outside the apartment is almost completely frozen over. There are a few spots that are without ice near the spillway. There were kids out on the ice playing tonight. I have a sick kind of desire to test it, but then I just keep picture the ice breaking under my weight and my dying. So, I suppose that we won't be giving in to that temptation. I did just see on the news that the Mighty Mississip is frozen north of St. Louis. Good deal.

Last Updated February 6, 2010

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