January 31, 2007

January 30, 2007

January 29, 2007

January 22, 2007

January 19, 2007

January 18, 2007

January 17, 2007

January 16, 2007

January 14, 2007

January 13, 2007

January 10, 2007

January 7, 2007

January 6, 2007

January 5, 2007

January 3, 2007

January 2, 2007

January 1, 2007

I can't believe that we're at the end of another month. Thus far, 2007 isn't shaping up to be much different than 2006. *that is my pessimism speaking again. I'm trying to do better. I promise*

Today was the first time that I was actually pretty busy at work today. Out of 8 hours, there were probably only 2.5 that I didn't really have something to do. That's not to say that for 5.5 hours I actually worked; it's to say that I managed to stretch out what I was doing for 5.5 hours. If that makes any sense. Who knows if what I'm doing is right, but there it is.

Spent awhile talking with our engineering intern this afternoon. I wore heels to work, which meant that my tattooed feet were on display. He seemed a little shocked by the tattoos. And he was even more shocked when I said piercings. (I didn't tell him where they were, and I don't even know that he was thinking that way) He said that he didn't have any tattoos, and that no one in our office would be brave enough to get one. That kinda cracks me up.

When I came out of work this afternoon, the sky was snow gray. I could have sworn that it might have been ready to snow.

Today's travel destination was the Ice Hotel. That might be fun to try. I don't know if I'd want to do a "cold" stay, although you know...it could be argued that I keep my own house at artic-like temperatures. Heh. That reminds me that I need to go turn the electric blanket.

The cats are on diets, and they really don't like that too much. TSLO was fucking up a peppermint this afternoon when I was home for lunch. If should could have gotten it open, I have no doubt it would have been down her snout fast enough to make a head spin.

Anyway. I need to go to bed. Happy February everyone!

I wish that I got all bitchy and pissy when my occasional PMS hits. Instead, I get really, really sad. It doesn't help that the sunshine went away today and lord knows when it's supposed to come back. Just have to keep reminding myself that it's going to be better soon.

My horoscope says:

Finding a way to express your fears can bring you closer to your goals, but don't use clever words to talk your way out of your funk. Instead, speak carefully to reveal a part of yourself that you normally keep secret.

Apropos tonight, but I don't think I want to reveal anything. I don't think that I have clever words to use. I mean...I don't think that there's anything in particular that is bugging me. But then again that may just be my clever words. *sigh* (It feels to me like I have no words so perhaps that's really what the problem is)

I dreamed about him again last night and this morning. It was good. Very, very good. I have decided, though, that as he does not give me the time of day in real life, he gets no more space in my dreams. It's part of my belief system, doncha know...if he doesn't want me, I don't want me. Those were some pretty fantastic dreams, though. :(

Maybe I just need to go for a drive before I take myself off to bed. Gotta dream about someone else tonight.

It's cold here. Not cold like at home cold, but cold for MS cold. It was 18 last night. The girlies and I were curled up under the electric blanket...all nice and warm.

I was having some freakin' awesome dreams last night. Hmmmm...I need to get laid. *sigh* I was dreaming about a particular someone last and this morning. I only have this hazy recollection of the time that I met him, but that's enough to make things work. *grin* Yeah. He was good. Real good. I'm hoping that he's going to make a repeat performance this evening.

Today's travel location was the Galapagos Islands. the picture featured a school of hammerhead sharks. I don't know if school is the right word, but it's the one that I'm using. Incredible blue green water. I could go for a tropical get-away right now. Not just because it's cold but because it sounds like a good idea.

Anyone watching Bill Cosby on Jay Leno? HILARIOUS!!! Cracking me right on up.

January 26, 2007

I have no clue what the date is. Maybe it's the 26th. It could be the 27th. I suppose if I weren't quite so lazy, I could look it up, but I don't feel like it. It'll work itself out eventually, won't it?

Tonight was the Distinguished Service Awards for the Jaycees. The mayor was in attendance. I presented the award to the law enforcement candidate as well as the outstanding young citizen. After the presentation, the mayor came up to me and said to me not once, not twice, but THREE times "You speak so well!" He asked me where I worked, and I told him that I was currently a secretary while I finished my PhD in Adult Education. I don't know if he was thinking about a possible job or what. It was a little strange. The whole conversation took maybe 2 minutes.

The job is killing me, but it's a job, as I keep reminding myself. I might not have a whole lot to do, but it's a job. It's a job, it's a job, it's a job.

I've been having some conflict with the neighbors in the duplex next door. They've left their garbage can in front of my house (which I've moved back without saying anything). There have also been a few times when I haven't been able to either get into the drive or out of the drive because they've got it blocked. Thursday night, I came home, and they were actually parked in front of my house. In front of my house.

I went to their door and knocked. And waited. Then I knocked again. And waited. And knocked again...harder. After which time I heard them in the house saying, "Don't answer the door. Don't answer the door!" So I knocked again. And again. Finally someone cracked the door and I introduced myself as their neighbor, saying that I would appreciate it if they wouldn't park IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE. She just looked at me like I had two heads. She did move the cars, though.

You'd think that would be the end of it, though. Nope. When I came home Friday night...parked in front of my house and the drive way was blocked. WTF? Does she not understand?

I suppose I'm going to call the landlord on Monday and suggest they have a talk with her because apparently they're not getting the hint. As I've just put $600 worth of tires on my car, I really wouldn't like to have them retaliate against me for anything. (My friend John...a deputy asked if he should stop by. Not to talk to them, but to let them know I had friends. I told him no, but I just might have to reconsider. Dammit)

I don't know if there's anything else that has been all that exciting in my life. I have to be with the Jaycees again tomorrow afternoon. I don't know that I really want to go, but it has to be done. So. Yeah.

I think I should go to bed. I'm tired, and I think I need a new pair of contacts.

Today's destination is Myanmar and the Bagan temples. Certainly very beautiful. I'd like a destination that isn't in Asia, though. We've had quite a few from that corner of the world, I think.

It was a busy weekend. Made my way to the coast to get my hair did (it's a darker red...lovely. I like it lots), and then came home to head out to Beth's to make clam chowder. Beth has never liked clam chowder, but mine has converted her. Woo-hoo!!! It's been a long time since I made clam chowder...probably because it hasn't really been cold enough here. It was really good.

I then came home to make red beans for the football party that I didn't get to stay at. I left the house at 12:40 or so to head to the hut, and as I was walking out the door, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I was ill. I tried to stick it out at the game, but towards the beginning of the first quarter, it was apparent to me I wasn't going to get better. So I came home and went to bed. Sucked.

I read Such a Pretty Girl Sunday morning while I was waiting for them to finish up with the car. ($620 for 4 tires and an oil change) It was a compelling read. I didn't want to finish reading it, and I had to stop and walk away from the book now and again. Very hard to read. It follows in the tradition of books like Speak, but it was much more wrenching. I think that while there were problems with the story, the author got the important parts right. I don't know who I'd recommend the book to, though. I don't think any of my students would have been old enough to handle it. I had a hard enough time with it.

So, the tech who actually did the work on my car is a cutie. Whew. Buff and all hard planes. Big ole tattoo on his right arm. Whew. And y'all know I don't go in for guys that are marked like me. Just doesn't appeal to me. But him. Him I could make an exception for. *grin*

More grayness today. *sigh* It just about kills me.

I'm supposed to be on the coast tomorrow by 9 in the morning. Ughhh. Gotta get my hair did, though. Very important. I think I'm going to go with a darker red, but other than that, I have no clue. I'm beginning to think that it might be time to do something different with the length, but I don't know what. Suggestions? (Like you're going to get them to me before I traipse off to see Lora)

In the mail today, I received my Christmas pressie from Tommy. FINALLY! He sent me the intro kit for Bare Minerals. I suppose that I'll play with it Sunday to see how it goes. (I'm not getting up in time to watch the DVD tomorrow morning so it's going to have to wait)

I can't remember what today's destination was, but yesterday's was Angkor Wat. Interesting place. It'll be awhile before I get to do some serious traveling like that, or any traveling really. The new job only has five holidays, and there aren't really any coming up for me. *sigh* I am thinking, though, that perhaps along March, I'll start doing some weekend camping. There are all kinds of places that I could get to shortly after work.

While I was at work today, I did quite a bit of browsing, waiting. And I stumbled across this article, which bothers the shit out of me. I need to send a message to my state representatives and senators, but I really don't know what good it will do. I mean...I'm in Mississippi for god's sake. That whole religion thing controls just about everything.

It's another gray day. I really do think that I might suffer from a bit of SAD...except related to weather. The sun is not supposed to shine until Wednesday, and I don't quite know how I'm going to survive that. I'm already sad enough that the cats are sticking close and wondering what the hell is wrong with me.

The Annoying Boy has opened his mouth again. I don't much believe in violence, but I think I may have to rip his testicles out through his throat. What a fucking jackassclown. I thought we'd had this discussion; I thought he understood. Apparently not. Fuckwit.

I think I'm going to go to bed. I'm tired. Have to work tomorrow. I'm not sure what I'm going to do all day. I have like three things on my desk and that's it. That's not going to take 8 hours, though. I suppose I could make some calls to sell ads for the Junior Miss program, but I hate doing things like that. I'm so not good at asking folks for money.

OK. I'm going to bed.

Another day, another dollar.

I think this weather has been playing hell with my sinuses. My head has been killing me the last couple of days. I've been clenching my teeth lately, and that could be part of the problem, too.

I was reading some more in The Electric Michelangelo this evening. Some incredible descriptions of Coney Island. Lots of talk about how in the 1920s it's not enough to be a natural born freak...you have to invent things and keep turning up the WOW factor to get people to spend their money with you. It reminds me of the things I've seen on the History channel about what the freak show has become. Freaks these days are those who are fully tattooed and pierced...dangling from hooks thrust through their flesh. That's not what I consider freakish, but I don't know exactly what I would consider freakish. I don't know that I would pay to go see a "freak show". I guess perhaps I'm too PC and it's ingrained in me not to stare.

I'm going to make clam chowder this weekend. It's cold and wet and icky here, which makes it the perfect weather for chowder. I'll be making it out at Beth and Mark's...Mark is a big chowder fan, and he doesn't get it very often. Plus, I think I'm going to be helping Beth in her beach room.

I was just going say something untoward about Meredith Viera's legs, but then I remembered yesterday's post. Which by the way, I've got good friends. I love y'all too.

I sent an email to my hairdresser last week and again this week, trying to figure out if I can get down to see her this weekend, but she hasn't replied. I think I might need to go to the drug store and pick up a couple of boxes of hair color. My roots are getting prominent. I'm a little irritated that she hasn't responded to two emails. Is my hairdresser breaking up with me? If she is, I'm going to have to get off of her forward list. I can put up with a lot for good hair, but if I'm not getting anything out of it, screw the flood of messages to my in-box. You know?

Anyway. I need to go to bed. I'm tired, and I have to work tomorrow. *sigh*

For the most part, I espouse and believe in a philosophy that says when someone else is an asshole to me, their behavior is more about them than it is about me. I can let things go...roll off my back...because I know it's not really personal. Even when it feels like it.

Sometimes, though, it's harder than others to just grin and bear it, to smile and truly let it go.

Went out to the Martini Spot this evening. Great little bar that you wouldn't expect in Hattiesburg. Met a few girlfriends. Drinking, laughing, having a great time. An extremely drunk guy came up and wanted to know what was so funny, why we were having such a good time. After receiving consensus from the other girls, when he yet again asked if he could join us, I said no, we didn't get together too often and we just wanted to talk.

To which he responded, "Oh now the big girl's lying. The big one's lying. Her and her fat cooch." I just smiled because I'm not one to make a scene, and because I realize that he was incredibly drunk. Maybe he would have said if he were sober, but maybe he wouldn't.

He left, we had a few awkward moments where my friends apologized and exclaimed at his rudeness. Apparently when I went to the bathroom, they went to him and told him he was an asshole, which the waitress and the bar owner over-heard. Asshole was then thrown out and told to never come back.

Nice. But it just draws more attention to it.

Then my friends spent the rest of the evening telling me how smart and wise and funny I am. Which was sweet of them, but doesn't make anything better. I've got to be smart and wise and funny *because* I'm fat. Nine nights out of ten, I've got the whole "one of my fundamental assumptions is that I have the power to seduce anyone" attitude going on, but every now and again, I slip.

I get it; I know I'm fat. I totally understand that. And I know he was drunk and an asshole and just an idiot. I know that. But it still hurts. It's not like I don't watch the people around me and know that I'm not what most men want. I *am* smart. I can figure such things out. It's just another example of how I'm not good enough. I understand, and most of my life, I'm OK with that. I'd just not prefer to be reminded. I'd like to just live in this sort of fog where I know, but I don't know. It's not like I don't get jolted out of it every time I put on a pair of pants. Or listen to a crack about how fat someone is. Just a little haze is all I'm asking for.

Today's travel destination is The Casino in Monaco. I don't know if I have much desire to visit there or not. These days I think I might want to just stay in the house.

It's freezing. We're supposed to get some sleet and freezing rain.

For those of you who were wondering, last night I had dinner with Cassie. We had Mexican, and I drank a couple of strong margaritas. Then we went to Barnes and Noble where I met Craig.

Craig. Oh lord. It wasn't too bad until his jealousy kicked in later in the evening, but once that happened, it was a little skeevy.

Saw Chris again. Such a sweet guy. He's supposed to be moving to my part of the state. Hmmmmmm....

I'm still tired. Not sleeping well lately. Little worried about the drive back to Hattiesburg. *sigh* I really don't want to even think about that. I'm supposed to go for a run tonight, and I don't know if that's going to be happening. I may have to do week 2 all over again.

My battery is dying. I need to close this off.

I'm in Jackson, at the annual Visioning Retreat. This whole thing is a little sad to me this year because I won't be able to do as much this coming summer as I did last year. This new job will severely limit my ability to help with the summer institute and other things.

I should be paying better attention, but I'm not. *sigh*

I was really tired yesterday. Didn't think that I was actually going to make it to Jackson last night. I had that whole glassy-eyed, slack jawed, fixation going on while I was driving. It was a little frightening. I probably should not have driven up last night.

Not a lot going on. The job is OK. I'm starting to feel better about things, but I get the notion that it might be a very unexciting job. I posted time yesterday for 6 hours. Entering numbers into an excel spreadsheet. I'm not complaining, I'm not complaining, I'm not complaining. I have job, and my bills will be paid.

There's not a whole lot happening here today. I don't know what I'm going to do for dinner tonight. We're on our own, and some folks are staying in for the game. Others are going to Olive Garden, which doesn't appeal to me at all. Wonder what I'm going to do. Hmmmmmmmm...I know you're all on the edge of your seats wondering what I'm going I'm going to eat tonight.

I have a job. It starts tomorrow. Gonna be a secretary type person for some civil engineers. Making $11/hour.

I was in a really good mood for most of the day today. Giggly, giddy good mood. I'm really not in a good mood now, though. I don't know what happened or where it went. Bad buzz I suppose.

I'm really disquieted. OK. Going to bed.

Oh how we suffer for beauty. I have just recently finished waxing my eyebrows, lip, and chin. It was super deluxe shower night, and I went ahead and did it up right. Did I tell you that I recently plucked a white (white, not blond) hair out of my eyebrow? Very unsettling. I think my eyebrows need some more plucking, but that will wait until tomorrow.

Went for my long "run" today, although it was only three miles. The new earphones didn't work. I'm going to try the smaller ones tomorrow, and if those don't work, then I'm going to have to go old school. Dammit.

While I was running, the guy who owns the local running store passed me. He looked down at my feet, and I could tell that he knew I was running in the wrong shoes. I don't know if he recognized that I'd been in his store or not, but he said to me, "Good job." *sigh* I felt pretty darn guilty about the whole thing, but I saved lots of money. And that's important in my world right now.

I truly am beginning to feel a bit on the leperish side. Y'all are playing on my insecurities. There are some folks that I haven't heard from in quite awhile, even though I've attempted communication with them. I begin to think it must be something I've done. (and yes, I know...I need to call Linda. What are you doing tomorrow afternoon?)But for most of those folks, I can't think of what I might have done. I'm beginning to get a little paranoid.

My Peach has apparently gotten the clue that she is not to lounge on my shoulder. She has spent most of the day asleep on the back of the chair...not my shoulder. Yeah! Good Peach!

Did I tell you that I figured out how to hook the Ipod up to the receiver? Yeah me! Now I can get rid of that crappy CD player. Way cool. (I was proud of myself)

Today's (and tomorrow's) destination is London. It's actually on my list of places that I really want to go. My desire probably stems from reading one too many romance novels set in the UK (including Scotland and Ireland), but oh well. A girl can have her fantasies, right?

The Bushism of the day wasn't that great, so I'm not passing it along.

I went for a walk today. It was a lovely day to be out on the Trace. Lots of daddies out with their kids on their new bikes.It was really cute. There were some weirdos out on the Trace. Some guy got of fhis bike and proned himself out in the middle of the path. Laid there for a good five minutes. Strange.

Does every one suffer from plantar facisitis? It's been painful to walk in the mornings lately. I'm hoping that is just because of the running shoes I currently have. Running in the wrong shoes makes my calves extremely tight, which can lead to problems with plantar facisitis. The only thing that concerns me is that it's a common problem in women who have flat feet. Which is me. I don't want this to be a problem for me. Good grief.

I'm watching the Osbornes on VH-1, and I cannot believe how many animals are in that house. Holy hell. How crazy is that? Wow.

I got some bad news in the mail today, but it gets better as the day goes on. As I do more research, I find out things that make me feel a bit better about how things are progressing. It's not the best of situations, but it is what is. (And no...I'm not going to tell you about it. Sorry. Somethings get to remain my own)

Did you see the Cowboys lose that football game tonight? Good god. I was doing a bit of yelling and screaming. Why do they have to break my heart like that? Don't they know that I'm pulling for them, and it's not good for me to be let down like that? *sigh* It turned out to be a pretty good game, though.

My back is killing me. I thikn it might just be the whole hormones thing with the period and such. Whatever it is, my back hurts. My head hurts too. Probably because I should be in bed.

Today's place to visit before we die is Sydney, Australia and the Opera House. It's one of the places I'd like to visit. Who knows when I'll get there. I believe that Cassie has been there; I know Betsy has been there.

Speaking of Betsy, haven't heard from her in a long while. I begin to worry that she is perhaps ignoring me, but then again, I begin to worry that lots of folks are ignoring me. *sigh* It's one of my insecurities. Sorry.

I didn't fall asleep last night until about 4:00 in the morning. No wonder I wound up sleeping until 9 or so.

Had a job interview this afternoon, and I think it went really well. I didn't talk a lot, which I think is strange. I kinda got the feeling that the job was mine if I wanted it...or barring some unseen happening.

January 4, 2007

Technically, it's the 5th, but we'll not tell anyone. It's storming outside, which means I'm not really in the mood to go to bed, even though I'm exceedingly tired. That's one of the neat things about rain. It makes me sleepy, but with all the thunder and lightning, I'm not going to be able to drift off. Dammit.

Today's Bushims wasn't that funny or even that laudable as a Bushism. I suppose, though, if you've got 365 days to fill, not all of them are gonna be a grandslam. Today's place to visit is Wat Po, Bangkok. Shall we dream exotic dreams together, my sweets?

My girlies are kicking each others' asses. I think the storm has them all upset. That or the fact that we're supposed to be in bed...should have been in bed a long, long time ago and we're not. They need their beauty sleep, too, you know.

I just got done ordering new running shoes. Ordered them through Amazon. Finally used the gift certificate that Shan got me for my birthday. I meant to buy a book, but I couldn't decide what book I wanted to buy. *sigh* So shoes will work just as well. I went by the local running store, and apparently my flat, extreme pronating foot is a special order. I could get them cheaper through the Amazon marketplace rather than waiting for a special order to come in, and I get a free pair of socks to boot. So. Thanks for the running shoes Shan!!!

They won't ship until the 10th or so, which seems like a long time from now, and they're coming standard shipping, so I probably won't have them until the end of the month or so. *sigh* I'm really not looking forward to running in the shoes that I currently have for that long. I don't know if my left calf is going to be able to handle it.

I should probably go to bed. I think the worst of the storm is past. All I hear outside now is rather gentle rain, but I am busy with the text messages. My vision is starting to blur, though, so that probably means that the texts will need to take a hike until tomorrow night.

Speaking of vision, I guess I'm adjusting to this weaker prescription OK. It bugs me that things in the distance aren't as sharp as they used to be. Reading and stuff isn't bad, but I notice that there's a haze around things like street signs, and I don't know if I like that or not or if it's going to go away. I can't quite tell if my night vision is better yet or not because I haven't really been out driving at night.

I am feeling particularly blue (PMS), but I will refrain from my regular my-life-doesn't-measure-up spchiel.

More tomorrow. I promise. (I'm doing better, aren't I?)

To redecorate or not has been decided by Hudson's. I dropped by this afternoon, and they just happened to have a rubber ducky shower curtain for 50% off. That made it about $4.00. It's not exactly what I wanted, but it'll do until I decide if I want the cute blue gingham check one from Target for $25.00. I could then use the one I bought today as the liner for the blue gingham ducky fabric one.

So much for growing up and being an adult with an adult-themed bathroom. *sigh*

The whimsy appeals to me, though. I can't help it. I painted a house sunshine yellow for god's sake. What more should I expect from myself?

My head and legs are killing me. Legs because of exercise, head because of a change in barometric pressure. Ughhh. (it's supposed to start raining here tomorrow)

I've got to break my Peach from the habit of lounging on my shoulder. Rarely does she lounge on the back of the chair anymore. She apparently now much prefers to make her way onto my shoulder and then down my chest. I suppose that she figures if she's on top of me, then I can't leave her sweet self. I let her have some ice cream this evening. It seems to have placated her for a bit; she's now on the arm of the couch. Good baby. The other one is in the kitchen playing in the water bowl. *sigh*

I'm tired tonight, but I think that's really due to the weather. It's not like I'm working or anything.

Speaking of work, did I tell y'all that my replacement at school quit? So...for the month of December, the first week, the kids had a sub. The second week, they thought that their new teacher was there. The third week, they had a sub again. Yeah. It's going to be a good year for those kids. A really, really good year. No longer my responsibility. No longer my responsibility.

I think that with my killer headache, I'm going to take my sweet self on off to bed. That will keep me from eating a piece of chocolate. I'm PMSing, and while I just ate a scoop (and only one scoop) of French Silk ice cream, it didn't quite do the trick. I don't think I get overly bitchy or moody or anything like that when it comes to PMS. I just want sugary treats. Namely something of the chocolate family or pecan pie variety.

Betsy got me a Bushisms page a day calendar...after I got myself a 1,000 places to see before you die page a day calendar. I'll have to start posting some of the locations and phrases so you can all enjoy it with me.

It's hard to believe that I've been maintaining this website for going on five years. Where does the time go? It seems like I Should have more to show for five years of my life than what these pages chronicle.

I think I am finally mostly done with adding songs to my Ipod. I have a few mixes that need to be input, but those will be time consuming as I will have to look up each song. They may wait until this weekend.

I went for a walk/run this afternoon. I need to buy new running shoes.

Today the cats and I spent the day cleaning and straightening up. It feels more like this is a place I can get some work done, now. With those details out of the way, I can concentrate on the things I have to start focusing on.

I think it's time for me to re-decorate the bathroom. The question becomes, do I stick with the ducks? I only say that it's time to redecorate because my shower curtain is ripped away from the holders in two places and the bottom of the shower mat is covered in mold. (it's currently soaking in a strong bleach solution) I did just buy new shower curtain hooks that are shaped like ducks (at Hudson's for $2.00), and then I wouldn't have to replace the rug or the soap dispensers or any of the other knick-knacks. Just the shower curtain and the mat. What to do, what to do, what to do? I personally like the ducks, but it is a little juvenile. I pushing 31. Gotta grow up sometime, right?

Did anyone catch this article in the NYT today? Y'all know that I don't believe in corporal punishment, so if I were a parent of one of these hoodlums, I wouldn't beat my child, but you can bet that those children would go nowhere without me until they could learn how to behave appropriately in public. And since their actions caused the library to be closed, impacting other children, they'd be working in an after-school literacy/tutoring program...even if it meant we had to start one. WTF? Why are the parents not stepping up to handle this problem? Have they not taught their children how to behave in public? I read the drivel about children not having places to be children, but isn't that what a park is for? Or a playground? I'm a little disgusted by the permissiveness.

All for now. More tomorrow. I promise.

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January 2007

January 31, 2007

I can't believe that we're at the end of another month. Thus far, 2007 isn't shaping up to be much different than 2006. *that is my pessimism speaking again. I'm trying to do better. I promise*

Today was the first time that I was actually pretty busy at work today. Out of 8 hours, there were probably only 2.5 that I didn't really have something to do. That's not to say that for 5.5 hours I actually worked; it's to say that I managed to stretch out what I was doing for 5.5 hours. If that makes any sense. Who knows if what I'm doing is right, but there it is.

Spent awhile talking with our engineering intern this afternoon. I wore heels to work, which meant that my tattooed feet were on display. He seemed a little shocked by the tattoos. And he was even more shocked when I said piercings. (I didn't tell him where they were, and I don't even know that he was thinking that way) He said that he didn't have any tattoos, and that no one in our office would be brave enough to get one. That kinda cracks me up.

When I came out of work this afternoon, the sky was snow gray. I could have sworn that it might have been ready to snow.

Today's travel destination was the Ice Hotel. That might be fun to try. I don't know if I'd want to do a "cold" stay, although you know...it could be argued that I keep my own house at artic-like temperatures. Heh. That reminds me that I need to go turn the electric blanket.

The cats are on diets, and they really don't like that too much. TSLO was fucking up a peppermint this afternoon when I was home for lunch. If should could have gotten it open, I have no doubt it would have been down her snout fast enough to make a head spin.

Anyway. I need to go to bed. Happy February everyone!

January 30, 2007

I wish that I got all bitchy and pissy when my occasional PMS hits. Instead, I get really, really sad. It doesn't help that the sunshine went away today and lord knows when it's supposed to come back. Just have to keep reminding myself that it's going to be better soon.

My horoscope says:

Finding a way to express your fears can bring you closer to your goals, but don't use clever words to talk your way out of your funk. Instead, speak carefully to reveal a part of yourself that you normally keep secret.

Apropos tonight, but I don't think I want to reveal anything. I don't think that I have clever words to use. I mean...I don't think that there's anything in particular that is bugging me. But then again that may just be my clever words. *sigh* (It feels to me like I have no words so perhaps that's really what the problem is)

I dreamed about him again last night and this morning. It was good. Very, very good. I have decided, though, that as he does not give me the time of day in real life, he gets no more space in my dreams. It's part of my belief system, doncha know...if he doesn't want me, I don't want me. Those were some pretty fantastic dreams, though. :(

Maybe I just need to go for a drive before I take myself off to bed. Gotta dream about someone else tonight.

January 29, 2007

It's cold here. Not cold like at home cold, but cold for MS cold. It was 18 last night. The girlies and I were curled up under the electric blanket...all nice and warm.

I was having some freakin' awesome dreams last night. Hmmmm...I need to get laid. *sigh* I was dreaming about a particular someone last and this morning. I only have this hazy recollection of the time that I met him, but that's enough to make things work. *grin* Yeah. He was good. Real good. I'm hoping that he's going to make a repeat performance this evening.

Today's travel location was the Galapagos Islands. the picture featured a school of hammerhead sharks. I don't know if school is the right word, but it's the one that I'm using. Incredible blue green water. I could go for a tropical get-away right now. Not just because it's cold but because it sounds like a good idea.

Anyone watching Bill Cosby on Jay Leno? HILARIOUS!!! Cracking me right on up.

January 26, 2007

I have no clue what the date is. Maybe it's the 26th. It could be the 27th. I suppose if I weren't quite so lazy, I could look it up, but I don't feel like it. It'll work itself out eventually, won't it?

Tonight was the Distinguished Service Awards for the Jaycees. The mayor was in attendance. I presented the award to the law enforcement candidate as well as the outstanding young citizen. After the presentation, the mayor came up to me and said to me not once, not twice, but THREE times "You speak so well!" He asked me where I worked, and I told him that I was currently a secretary while I finished my PhD in Adult Education. I don't know if he was thinking about a possible job or what. It was a little strange. The whole conversation took maybe 2 minutes.

The job is killing me, but it's a job, as I keep reminding myself. I might not have a whole lot to do, but it's a job. It's a job, it's a job, it's a job.

I've been having some conflict with the neighbors in the duplex next door. They've left their garbage can in front of my house (which I've moved back without saying anything). There have also been a few times when I haven't been able to either get into the drive or out of the drive because they've got it blocked. Thursday night, I came home, and they were actually parked in front of my house. In front of my house.

I went to their door and knocked. And waited. Then I knocked again. And waited. And knocked again...harder. After which time I heard them in the house saying, "Don't answer the door. Don't answer the door!" So I knocked again. And again. Finally someone cracked the door and I introduced myself as their neighbor, saying that I would appreciate it if they wouldn't park IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE. She just looked at me like I had two heads. She did move the cars, though.

You'd think that would be the end of it, though. Nope. When I came home Friday night...parked in front of my house and the drive way was blocked. WTF? Does she not understand?

I suppose I'm going to call the landlord on Monday and suggest they have a talk with her because apparently they're not getting the hint. As I've just put $600 worth of tires on my car, I really wouldn't like to have them retaliate against me for anything. (My friend John...a deputy asked if he should stop by. Not to talk to them, but to let them know I had friends. I told him no, but I just might have to reconsider. Dammit)

I don't know if there's anything else that has been all that exciting in my life. I have to be with the Jaycees again tomorrow afternoon. I don't know that I really want to go, but it has to be done. So. Yeah.

I think I should go to bed. I'm tired, and I think I need a new pair of contacts.

January 22, 2007

Today's destination is Myanmar and the Bagan temples. Certainly very beautiful. I'd like a destination that isn't in Asia, though. We've had quite a few from that corner of the world, I think.

It was a busy weekend. Made my way to the coast to get my hair did (it's a darker red...lovely. I like it lots), and then came home to head out to Beth's to make clam chowder. Beth has never liked clam chowder, but mine has converted her. Woo-hoo!!! It's been a long time since I made clam chowder...probably because it hasn't really been cold enough here. It was really good.

I then came home to make red beans for the football party that I didn't get to stay at. I left the house at 12:40 or so to head to the hut, and as I was walking out the door, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I was ill. I tried to stick it out at the game, but towards the beginning of the first quarter, it was apparent to me I wasn't going to get better. So I came home and went to bed. Sucked.

I read Such a Pretty Girl Sunday morning while I was waiting for them to finish up with the car. ($620 for 4 tires and an oil change) It was a compelling read. I didn't want to finish reading it, and I had to stop and walk away from the book now and again. Very hard to read. It follows in the tradition of books like Speak, but it was much more wrenching. I think that while there were problems with the story, the author got the important parts right. I don't know who I'd recommend the book to, though. I don't think any of my students would have been old enough to handle it. I had a hard enough time with it.

So, the tech who actually did the work on my car is a cutie. Whew. Buff and all hard planes. Big ole tattoo on his right arm. Whew. And y'all know I don't go in for guys that are marked like me. Just doesn't appeal to me. But him. Him I could make an exception for. *grin*

January 19, 2007

More grayness today. *sigh* It just about kills me.

I'm supposed to be on the coast tomorrow by 9 in the morning. Ughhh. Gotta get my hair did, though. Very important. I think I'm going to go with a darker red, but other than that, I have no clue. I'm beginning to think that it might be time to do something different with the length, but I don't know what. Suggestions? (Like you're going to get them to me before I traipse off to see Lora)

In the mail today, I received my Christmas pressie from Tommy. FINALLY! He sent me the intro kit for Bare Minerals. I suppose that I'll play with it Sunday to see how it goes. (I'm not getting up in time to watch the DVD tomorrow morning so it's going to have to wait)

I can't remember what today's destination was, but yesterday's was Angkor Wat. Interesting place. It'll be awhile before I get to do some serious traveling like that, or any traveling really. The new job only has five holidays, and there aren't really any coming up for me. *sigh* I am thinking, though, that perhaps along March, I'll start doing some weekend camping. There are all kinds of places that I could get to shortly after work.

While I was at work today, I did quite a bit of browsing, waiting. And I stumbled across this article, which bothers the shit out of me. I need to send a message to my state representatives and senators, but I really don't know what good it will do. I mean...I'm in Mississippi for god's sake. That whole religion thing controls just about everything.

January 18, 2007

It's another gray day. I really do think that I might suffer from a bit of SAD...except related to weather. The sun is not supposed to shine until Wednesday, and I don't quite know how I'm going to survive that. I'm already sad enough that the cats are sticking close and wondering what the hell is wrong with me.

The Annoying Boy has opened his mouth again. I don't much believe in violence, but I think I may have to rip his testicles out through his throat. What a fucking jackassclown. I thought we'd had this discussion; I thought he understood. Apparently not. Fuckwit.

I think I'm going to go to bed. I'm tired. Have to work tomorrow. I'm not sure what I'm going to do all day. I have like three things on my desk and that's it. That's not going to take 8 hours, though. I suppose I could make some calls to sell ads for the Junior Miss program, but I hate doing things like that. I'm so not good at asking folks for money.

OK. I'm going to bed.

January 17, 2007

Another day, another dollar.

I think this weather has been playing hell with my sinuses. My head has been killing me the last couple of days. I've been clenching my teeth lately, and that could be part of the problem, too.

I was reading some more in The Electric Michelangelo this evening. Some incredible descriptions of Coney Island. Lots of talk about how in the 1920s it's not enough to be a natural born freak...you have to invent things and keep turning up the WOW factor to get people to spend their money with you. It reminds me of the things I've seen on the History channel about what the freak show has become. Freaks these days are those who are fully tattooed and pierced...dangling from hooks thrust through their flesh. That's not what I consider freakish, but I don't know exactly what I would consider freakish. I don't know that I would pay to go see a "freak show". I guess perhaps I'm too PC and it's ingrained in me not to stare.

I'm going to make clam chowder this weekend. It's cold and wet and icky here, which makes it the perfect weather for chowder. I'll be making it out at Beth and Mark's...Mark is a big chowder fan, and he doesn't get it very often. Plus, I think I'm going to be helping Beth in her beach room.

I was just going say something untoward about Meredith Viera's legs, but then I remembered yesterday's post. Which by the way, I've got good friends. I love y'all too.

I sent an email to my hairdresser last week and again this week, trying to figure out if I can get down to see her this weekend, but she hasn't replied. I think I might need to go to the drug store and pick up a couple of boxes of hair color. My roots are getting prominent. I'm a little irritated that she hasn't responded to two emails. Is my hairdresser breaking up with me? If she is, I'm going to have to get off of her forward list. I can put up with a lot for good hair, but if I'm not getting anything out of it, screw the flood of messages to my in-box. You know?

Anyway. I need to go to bed. I'm tired, and I have to work tomorrow. *sigh*

January 16, 2007

For the most part, I espouse and believe in a philosophy that says when someone else is an asshole to me, their behavior is more about them than it is about me. I can let things go...roll off my back...because I know it's not really personal. Even when it feels like it.

Sometimes, though, it's harder than others to just grin and bear it, to smile and truly let it go.

Went out to the Martini Spot this evening. Great little bar that you wouldn't expect in Hattiesburg. Met a few girlfriends. Drinking, laughing, having a great time. An extremely drunk guy came up and wanted to know what was so funny, why we were having such a good time. After receiving consensus from the other girls, when he yet again asked if he could join us, I said no, we didn't get together too often and we just wanted to talk.

To which he responded, "Oh now the big girl's lying. The big one's lying. Her and her fat cooch." I just smiled because I'm not one to make a scene, and because I realize that he was incredibly drunk. Maybe he would have said if he were sober, but maybe he wouldn't.

He left, we had a few awkward moments where my friends apologized and exclaimed at his rudeness. Apparently when I went to the bathroom, they went to him and told him he was an asshole, which the waitress and the bar owner over-heard. Asshole was then thrown out and told to never come back.

Nice. But it just draws more attention to it.

Then my friends spent the rest of the evening telling me how smart and wise and funny I am. Which was sweet of them, but doesn't make anything better. I've got to be smart and wise and funny *because* I'm fat. Nine nights out of ten, I've got the whole "one of my fundamental assumptions is that I have the power to seduce anyone" attitude going on, but every now and again, I slip.

I get it; I know I'm fat. I totally understand that. And I know he was drunk and an asshole and just an idiot. I know that. But it still hurts. It's not like I don't watch the people around me and know that I'm not what most men want. I *am* smart. I can figure such things out. It's just another example of how I'm not good enough. I understand, and most of my life, I'm OK with that. I'd just not prefer to be reminded. I'd like to just live in this sort of fog where I know, but I don't know. It's not like I don't get jolted out of it every time I put on a pair of pants. Or listen to a crack about how fat someone is. Just a little haze is all I'm asking for.

Today's travel destination is The Casino in Monaco. I don't know if I have much desire to visit there or not. These days I think I might want to just stay in the house.

It's freezing. We're supposed to get some sleet and freezing rain.

January 14, 2007

For those of you who were wondering, last night I had dinner with Cassie. We had Mexican, and I drank a couple of strong margaritas. Then we went to Barnes and Noble where I met Craig.

Craig. Oh lord. It wasn't too bad until his jealousy kicked in later in the evening, but once that happened, it was a little skeevy.

Saw Chris again. Such a sweet guy. He's supposed to be moving to my part of the state. Hmmmmmm....

I'm still tired. Not sleeping well lately. Little worried about the drive back to Hattiesburg. *sigh* I really don't want to even think about that. I'm supposed to go for a run tonight, and I don't know if that's going to be happening. I may have to do week 2 all over again.

My battery is dying. I need to close this off.

January 13, 2007

I'm in Jackson, at the annual Visioning Retreat. This whole thing is a little sad to me this year because I won't be able to do as much this coming summer as I did last year. This new job will severely limit my ability to help with the summer institute and other things.

I should be paying better attention, but I'm not. *sigh*

I was really tired yesterday. Didn't think that I was actually going to make it to Jackson last night. I had that whole glassy-eyed, slack jawed, fixation going on while I was driving. It was a little frightening. I probably should not have driven up last night.

Not a lot going on. The job is OK. I'm starting to feel better about things, but I get the notion that it might be a very unexciting job. I posted time yesterday for 6 hours. Entering numbers into an excel spreadsheet. I'm not complaining, I'm not complaining, I'm not complaining. I have job, and my bills will be paid.

There's not a whole lot happening here today. I don't know what I'm going to do for dinner tonight. We're on our own, and some folks are staying in for the game. Others are going to Olive Garden, which doesn't appeal to me at all. Wonder what I'm going to do. Hmmmmmmmm...I know you're all on the edge of your seats wondering what I'm going I'm going to eat tonight.

January 10, 2007

I have a job. It starts tomorrow. Gonna be a secretary type person for some civil engineers. Making $11/hour.

I was in a really good mood for most of the day today. Giggly, giddy good mood. I'm really not in a good mood now, though. I don't know what happened or where it went. Bad buzz I suppose.

I'm really disquieted. OK. Going to bed.

January 7, 2007

Oh how we suffer for beauty. I have just recently finished waxing my eyebrows, lip, and chin. It was super deluxe shower night, and I went ahead and did it up right. Did I tell you that I recently plucked a white (white, not blond) hair out of my eyebrow? Very unsettling. I think my eyebrows need some more plucking, but that will wait until tomorrow.

Went for my long "run" today, although it was only three miles. The new earphones didn't work. I'm going to try the smaller ones tomorrow, and if those don't work, then I'm going to have to go old school. Dammit.

While I was running, the guy who owns the local running store passed me. He looked down at my feet, and I could tell that he knew I was running in the wrong shoes. I don't know if he recognized that I'd been in his store or not, but he said to me, "Good job." *sigh* I felt pretty darn guilty about the whole thing, but I saved lots of money. And that's important in my world right now.

I truly am beginning to feel a bit on the leperish side. Y'all are playing on my insecurities. There are some folks that I haven't heard from in quite awhile, even though I've attempted communication with them. I begin to think it must be something I've done. (and yes, I know...I need to call Linda. What are you doing tomorrow afternoon?)But for most of those folks, I can't think of what I might have done. I'm beginning to get a little paranoid.

My Peach has apparently gotten the clue that she is not to lounge on my shoulder. She has spent most of the day asleep on the back of the chair...not my shoulder. Yeah! Good Peach!

Did I tell you that I figured out how to hook the Ipod up to the receiver? Yeah me! Now I can get rid of that crappy CD player. Way cool. (I was proud of myself)

January 6, 2007

Today's (and tomorrow's) destination is London. It's actually on my list of places that I really want to go. My desire probably stems from reading one too many romance novels set in the UK (including Scotland and Ireland), but oh well. A girl can have her fantasies, right?

The Bushism of the day wasn't that great, so I'm not passing it along.

I went for a walk today. It was a lovely day to be out on the Trace. Lots of daddies out with their kids on their new bikes.It was really cute. There were some weirdos out on the Trace. Some guy got of fhis bike and proned himself out in the middle of the path. Laid there for a good five minutes. Strange.

Does every one suffer from plantar facisitis? It's been painful to walk in the mornings lately. I'm hoping that is just because of the running shoes I currently have. Running in the wrong shoes makes my calves extremely tight, which can lead to problems with plantar facisitis. The only thing that concerns me is that it's a common problem in women who have flat feet. Which is me. I don't want this to be a problem for me. Good grief.

I'm watching the Osbornes on VH-1, and I cannot believe how many animals are in that house. Holy hell. How crazy is that? Wow.

I got some bad news in the mail today, but it gets better as the day goes on. As I do more research, I find out things that make me feel a bit better about how things are progressing. It's not the best of situations, but it is what is. (And no...I'm not going to tell you about it. Sorry. Somethings get to remain my own)

Did you see the Cowboys lose that football game tonight? Good god. I was doing a bit of yelling and screaming. Why do they have to break my heart like that? Don't they know that I'm pulling for them, and it's not good for me to be let down like that? *sigh* It turned out to be a pretty good game, though.

My back is killing me. I thikn it might just be the whole hormones thing with the period and such. Whatever it is, my back hurts. My head hurts too. Probably because I should be in bed.

January 5, 2007

Today's place to visit before we die is Sydney, Australia and the Opera House. It's one of the places I'd like to visit. Who knows when I'll get there. I believe that Cassie has been there; I know Betsy has been there.

Speaking of Betsy, haven't heard from her in a long while. I begin to worry that she is perhaps ignoring me, but then again, I begin to worry that lots of folks are ignoring me. *sigh* It's one of my insecurities. Sorry.

I didn't fall asleep last night until about 4:00 in the morning. No wonder I wound up sleeping until 9 or so.

Had a job interview this afternoon, and I think it went really well. I didn't talk a lot, which I think is strange. I kinda got the feeling that the job was mine if I wanted it...or barring some unseen happening.

January 4, 2007

Technically, it's the 5th, but we'll not tell anyone. It's storming outside, which means I'm not really in the mood to go to bed, even though I'm exceedingly tired. That's one of the neat things about rain. It makes me sleepy, but with all the thunder and lightning, I'm not going to be able to drift off. Dammit.

Today's Bushims wasn't that funny or even that laudable as a Bushism. I suppose, though, if you've got 365 days to fill, not all of them are gonna be a grandslam. Today's place to visit is Wat Po, Bangkok. Shall we dream exotic dreams together, my sweets?

My girlies are kicking each others' asses. I think the storm has them all upset. That or the fact that we're supposed to be in bed...should have been in bed a long, long time ago and we're not. They need their beauty sleep, too, you know.

I just got done ordering new running shoes. Ordered them through Amazon. Finally used the gift certificate that Shan got me for my birthday. I meant to buy a book, but I couldn't decide what book I wanted to buy. *sigh* So shoes will work just as well. I went by the local running store, and apparently my flat, extreme pronating foot is a special order. I could get them cheaper through the Amazon marketplace rather than waiting for a special order to come in, and I get a free pair of socks to boot. So. Thanks for the running shoes Shan!!!

They won't ship until the 10th or so, which seems like a long time from now, and they're coming standard shipping, so I probably won't have them until the end of the month or so. *sigh* I'm really not looking forward to running in the shoes that I currently have for that long. I don't know if my left calf is going to be able to handle it.

I should probably go to bed. I think the worst of the storm is past. All I hear outside now is rather gentle rain, but I am busy with the text messages. My vision is starting to blur, though, so that probably means that the texts will need to take a hike until tomorrow night.

Speaking of vision, I guess I'm adjusting to this weaker prescription OK. It bugs me that things in the distance aren't as sharp as they used to be. Reading and stuff isn't bad, but I notice that there's a haze around things like street signs, and I don't know if I like that or not or if it's going to go away. I can't quite tell if my night vision is better yet or not because I haven't really been out driving at night.

I am feeling particularly blue (PMS), but I will refrain from my regular my-life-doesn't-measure-up spchiel.

More tomorrow. I promise. (I'm doing better, aren't I?)

January 3, 2007

To redecorate or not has been decided by Hudson's. I dropped by this afternoon, and they just happened to have a rubber ducky shower curtain for 50% off. That made it about $4.00. It's not exactly what I wanted, but it'll do until I decide if I want the cute blue gingham check one from Target for $25.00. I could then use the one I bought today as the liner for the blue gingham ducky fabric one.

So much for growing up and being an adult with an adult-themed bathroom. *sigh*

The whimsy appeals to me, though. I can't help it. I painted a house sunshine yellow for god's sake. What more should I expect from myself?

My head and legs are killing me. Legs because of exercise, head because of a change in barometric pressure. Ughhh. (it's supposed to start raining here tomorrow)

I've got to break my Peach from the habit of lounging on my shoulder. Rarely does she lounge on the back of the chair anymore. She apparently now much prefers to make her way onto my shoulder and then down my chest. I suppose that she figures if she's on top of me, then I can't leave her sweet self. I let her have some ice cream this evening. It seems to have placated her for a bit; she's now on the arm of the couch. Good baby. The other one is in the kitchen playing in the water bowl. *sigh*

I'm tired tonight, but I think that's really due to the weather. It's not like I'm working or anything.

Speaking of work, did I tell y'all that my replacement at school quit? So...for the month of December, the first week, the kids had a sub. The second week, they thought that their new teacher was there. The third week, they had a sub again. Yeah. It's going to be a good year for those kids. A really, really good year. No longer my responsibility. No longer my responsibility.

I think that with my killer headache, I'm going to take my sweet self on off to bed. That will keep me from eating a piece of chocolate. I'm PMSing, and while I just ate a scoop (and only one scoop) of French Silk ice cream, it didn't quite do the trick. I don't think I get overly bitchy or moody or anything like that when it comes to PMS. I just want sugary treats. Namely something of the chocolate family or pecan pie variety.

Betsy got me a Bushisms page a day calendar...after I got myself a 1,000 places to see before you die page a day calendar. I'll have to start posting some of the locations and phrases so you can all enjoy it with me.

January 2, 2007

It's hard to believe that I've been maintaining this website for going on five years. Where does the time go? It seems like I Should have more to show for five years of my life than what these pages chronicle.

I think I am finally mostly done with adding songs to my Ipod. I have a few mixes that need to be input, but those will be time consuming as I will have to look up each song. They may wait until this weekend.

I went for a walk/run this afternoon. I need to buy new running shoes.

Today the cats and I spent the day cleaning and straightening up. It feels more like this is a place I can get some work done, now. With those details out of the way, I can concentrate on the things I have to start focusing on.

I think it's time for me to re-decorate the bathroom. The question becomes, do I stick with the ducks? I only say that it's time to redecorate because my shower curtain is ripped away from the holders in two places and the bottom of the shower mat is covered in mold. (it's currently soaking in a strong bleach solution) I did just buy new shower curtain hooks that are shaped like ducks (at Hudson's for $2.00), and then I wouldn't have to replace the rug or the soap dispensers or any of the other knick-knacks. Just the shower curtain and the mat. What to do, what to do, what to do? I personally like the ducks, but it is a little juvenile. I pushing 31. Gotta grow up sometime, right?

Did anyone catch this article in the NYT today? Y'all know that I don't believe in corporal punishment, so if I were a parent of one of these hoodlums, I wouldn't beat my child, but you can bet that those children would go nowhere without me until they could learn how to behave appropriately in public. And since their actions caused the library to be closed, impacting other children, they'd be working in an after-school literacy/tutoring program...even if it meant we had to start one. WTF? Why are the parents not stepping up to handle this problem? Have they not taught their children how to behave in public? I read the drivel about children not having places to be children, but isn't that what a park is for? Or a playground? I'm a little disgusted by the permissiveness.

All for now. More tomorrow. I promise.

January 1, 2007

The beginning of a new year is always a little sad. It's a natural time for reflection, and as I look back over 2006, I find a sea of lost or missed opportunities. I am unhappy with the place in which I find myself, and I fully recognize that I am in this place because this is where I have chosen to be. My choices have led me here, and it will only be through my choices that I find another place to be.

I've made a couple of resolutions for this coming year, but they're really the same ones that I've made very year for god knows how long. I don't feel an overwhelming need to reiterate them here. We all know what they are, and hopefully this year, this year will be the year.

It's been an odd end to the year, I think. The deaths of James Brown, Gerald Ford, and Saddam Hussein put the year into a bit of relief, I think.

The first was an influential musician (although there is conflict about the exact extent of the influence), who was by all accounts a shitty man. Tax evasion, domestic abuse, drug addiction. It is difficult, I think, to not see the effect of nurture versus nature in this case. I mean...he was raised in a brothel. Dismissed from school for insufficient clothing. I can't quite imagine what those influences do to a child...and that subsequent man.

I still know next to nothing about Gerald Ford, but it appears that he was a thoroughly decent human being and a rather good president. I suppose that in the aftermath of Watergate, the next president had to be somewhat consigned to the mists, overshadowed by all that came before. Sucks for him in one way, but I can imagine that a bit of annonimity would have been welcomed.

As for the hanging of Saddam Hussein...I don't know exactly what to say. There's no question that he was an evil man, who brought suffering to untold thousands. But I'm opposed to the death penalty. I don't think I can say it's OK because he was a *really* bad man, but this guy over here was only kinda bad. The relativity bothers me.

I went for a walk this afternoon with my new Ipod. I have to say that other than having my rather extensive collection of music right at my fingertips, the greatest thing about the Ipod is podcasts. I've subscribed to a couple from NPR and one called Podrunner, which gives you an hour of music that all has 160 beats per minute...so as to keep you moving. I'm not a big fan of electronica, but I did notice that it helped me set a pretty quick pace.

In other news, before I left Reno, the Sner and I went to the John Edwards townhall meeting. I liked a lot of what he had to say, but I don't think he's going to be our next President. As one person in the audience stated, it's time for liberals to be unashamed of being liberals, and I think Edwards is unashamedly liberal. Universal health care, begin an immediate withdrawal from Iraq, global warming, etc. As one who leans a bit to the left (a bit), those things appeal to me. The problem is, that he can't win with just the votes of people like me. I left with the impression that while he was appealing, he wouldn't be our next president. (And I have to say that I'm really concerned about his comment that we need to completely restructure the way that we pay teachers. To me, that's code for "merit pay", which I have an extremely difficult time supporting as it rewards those folks like the EDH and not those who are working with the kids who aren't part of the upper echelon)

The holidays were good. The visit with Shan and Eric was wonderful, although short. Getting into and out of Denver was about as frustrating an experience as I've ever had. I was worried I wasn't ever going to get there and then I was worried I wasn't going to leave. Every last one of my flights on this trip (six in total) were turbulent. I'm a good flier, but good grief. I was glad to get on solid ground all six times.

Spent some time with Desiree and Wayne, Amber and Nate. I was supposed to see some other folks but didn't get around it. Once I got home, I couldn't find phone numbers.

Anyway. I need to do a little reading tonight. Make some progress towards my goals for the year. *sigh* And add some CDs to my Ipod. (I feel like it's a never-ending process)

More tomorrow.

Last Updated May 26, 2008

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The beginning of a new year is always a little sad. It's a natural time for reflection, and as I look back over 2006, I find a sea of lost or missed opportunities. I am unhappy with the place in which I find myself, and I fully recognize that I am in this place because this is where I have chosen to be. My choices have led me here, and it will only be through my choices that I find another place to be.

I've made a couple of resolutions for this coming year, but they're really the same ones that I've made very year for god knows how long. I don't feel an overwhelming need to reiterate them here. We all know what they are, and hopefully this year, this year will be the year.

It's been an odd end to the year, I think. The deaths of James Brown, Gerald Ford, and Saddam Hussein put the year into a bit of relief, I think.

The first was an influential musician (although there is conflict about the exact extent of the influence), who was by all accounts a shitty man. Tax evasion, domestic abuse, drug addiction. It is difficult, I think, to not see the effect of nurture versus nature in this case. I mean...he was raised in a brothel. Dismissed from school for insufficient clothing. I can't quite imagine what those influences do to a child...and that subsequent man.

I still know next to nothing about Gerald Ford, but it appears that he was a thoroughly decent human being and a rather good president. I suppose that in the aftermath of Watergate, the next president had to be somewhat consigned to the mists, overshadowed by all that came before. Sucks for him in one way, but I can imagine that a bit of annonimity would have been welcomed.

As for the hanging of Saddam Hussein...I don't know exactly what to say. There's no question that he was an evil man, who brought suffering to untold thousands. But I'm opposed to the death penalty. I don't think I can say it's OK because he was a *really* bad man, but this guy over here was only kinda bad. The relativity bothers me.

I went for a walk this afternoon with my new Ipod. I have to say that other than having my rather extensive collection of music right at my fingertips, the greatest thing about the Ipod is podcasts. I've subscribed to a couple from NPR and one called Podrunner, which gives you an hour of music that all has 160 beats per minute...so as to keep you moving. I'm not a big fan of electronica, but I did notice that it helped me set a pretty quick pace.

In other news, before I left Reno, the Sner and I went to the John Edwards townhall meeting. I liked a lot of what he had to say, but I don't think he's going to be our next President. As one person in the audience stated, it's time for liberals to be unashamed of being liberals, and I think Edwards is unashamedly liberal. Universal health care, begin an immediate withdrawal from Iraq, global warming, etc. As one who leans a bit to the left (a bit), those things appeal to me. The problem is, that he can't win with just the votes of people like me. I left with the impression that while he was appealing, he wouldn't be our next president. (And I have to say that I'm really concerned about his comment that we need to completely restructure the way that we pay teachers. To me, that's code for "merit pay", which I have an extremely difficult time supporting as it rewards those folks like the EDH and not those who are working with the kids who aren't part of the upper echelon)

The holidays were good. The visit with Shan and Eric was wonderful, although short. Getting into and out of Denver was about as frustrating an experience as I've ever had. I was worried I wasn't ever going to get there and then I was worried I wasn't going to leave. Every last one of my flights on this trip (six in total) were turbulent. I'm a good flier, but good grief. I was glad to get on solid ground all six times.

Spent some time with Desiree and Wayne, Amber and Nate. I was supposed to see some other folks but didn't get around it. Once I got home, I couldn't find phone numbers.

Anyway. I need to do a little reading tonight. Make some progress towards my goals for the year. *sigh* And add some CDs to my Ipod. (I feel like it's a never-ending process)

More tomorrow.