February 28, 2007

February 27, 2007

February 24, 2007

February 22, 2007

February 18, 2007

February 15, 2007

February 14, 2007

February 13, 2007

February 7, 2007

February 6, 2007

February 5, 2007

February 3, 2007

It's 7:15 on Wednesday night, and I am ready to go to bed. It's gonna storm tonight or in the early morning, which does not make me a happy fuzz.

There are no thoughts in my head. Maybe it's because I'm so tired. I don't really want to go to bed, though because I might miss something. It's a little sad, I think, but there it is.

Did y'all see the article about men's decreasing fertility? OK. I guess.

I'm going to bed. PMS and a cold at the same time suck ass.

I am sorry to be such a slacker weasel. I'll get better. I hope. Maybe. Something has to change. Maybe.

So, yeah. I decided that I needed to buy new flatware. I was tired of the mis-matched left-overs from a life that used to be mine. I feel like I need to buy new dishes as well. the past needs to be put away. Or at least that's how I feel. It could just be PMS, though. I dunno.

Will you be terribly upset if I donate the flatware, Sner?

So so craziness with the stock market this evening, huh? Wow. For conspiracy theorists, everything is starting to make sense, huh?

There's a job in Connecticut. I think I'm going to start putting together an application packet. It's for a WP director position. I don't know if I really want to do this. Connecticut doesn't speak to my soul. The job does, though, and I think that's probably what is the greater good. I feel so inadequate and so unprepared, which is nothing new, but still. I am once again thinking, what makes me think I'm qualified for this?

It's February 27. It's a hard day for some. And I'm sorry for that.

I drove through New Orleans this weekend. Stopped in at Cafe du Monde to spend a little time writing. It was the least crowded I've seen it. It's always hopping but not that night. Strange considering that it was Saturday night. I expected more.

New Orleans saddens me. It is still so lifeless. Driving through, the stagnation is almost a palpable thing, reaching its icy fingers out to touch you as you breeze through. If it catches the draft of your passing and not you, it's possible that it could all be blown out, but if it wraps around you, it could cause strangulation. The buildings are still empty, the doors hanging open like slack jaws, the drool long since dried to a flakey crust. Lawns grow wild and the hands of nature reach their long fingers out to begin the process of slowly taking back what was always theirs. The mountains, if there were mountains, would be winning again.

I read every article about New Orleans that I can find, and I know the situation is bleak. Crime is out of control (although here in tourist central there are plenty of patrols and deterrents). The infrastructure is still struggling. Poor people cannot afford to come back in many sense. If they can leave their current homes, they don't have the resources necessary for the rehabilitation and restoration that face them once they return. Organizations like Habitat for Humanity are not designed to help the worst of them, and the government aid is slow in coming.

The middle and upper classes who have returned, determined to not be broken by the juggernauts that was (and continues to be) Katrina and the response to the storm are now beginning to leave. It's too hard; it's too risky; and it's simply too much. So they go where they do not have to worry so intensely what danger lurks outside the front door.

I've read that New orleans couldn't support her population pre-Katrina. There were too many people, too many of whom were not pulling their weight. I want to say the population is sitting at a quarter of pre-storm, but I seem to recall maybe 40% is a better estimate. Even that is too much, but at the same time, not enough.

New Orleans calls to me. It seems there is so much possibility, so much promise. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. She has the chance to do it right-still-despite early missteps. It is not yet too late to turn things around. Part of me aches to be a piece of that, to contribute to find my purpose here. There is so much to be done, and modesty aside, I have a great deal to offer. But the sadness and stagnation frighten me. Stand still too long, breathe too deep, and strangulation begins.

I totally went on a road trip yesterday, and it has all of the hallmarks of a Classic Jen trip. Unfortunately, I don't really have the time or desire to talk about it right now. I'm tired. And it's late and I should go to bed.

I will say that I think I have managed to get the hang of eating crawfish. For the most part. I was even sucking the heads. Good for me!

I did a whole bunch of writing, most of which will probably wind up here within the next week or so. Lots of thoughts, lots of stuff going on.

It was a beautiful day here today. I went to the Trace and had a lovely walk and then took Esteban to the carwash because apparently he was attacked by a flock of angry birds last night. Totally covered in gross brown bird poo. It actually looked a lot like tobacco spit. I dunno. Very odd. I didn't do so good of a job of washing him; it's been awhile and I'm out of practice. I need to take him somewhere to get the interior done.

Boys confuse me. Let me just put that out there. Boys confuse me. (If any of you all see Wayne, tell him to give a supplicant a call)

My head hurts. My boss and one of the draftsmen at work were all congested on Friday. I've been taking advil cold and sinus off and on all weekend.

So, I was reading this article in the New York Times about the death penalty a week ago or so, and I'm just now getting around to writing about it. The article is already in the archives, so I won't link to it. Basically, though, it talked about how we want death sanitized and the reason behind the moratoriums on the death penalty stem from the pain it causes those that it is being administered to.

Now, y'all know that I am not a death penalty proponent. I've said before that I don't think it's enough, and that it's too easy. I don't know if death should be easy. I don't know if we should make death this anesthetized thing so that we're more comfortable with state-sponsored murder. I don't think it should be overly painful, but I don't think it should be something that distances us from the fact that we--not just the state, but us as members of the state--are in fact killing someone.

Wow. I just realized that I was using some language that is stronger and lies in a direction that I intended. I wonder if my objection to the death penalty is morphing into more of a moral thing. I suppose that I will have to spend some time thinking about that. Interesting.

I made macaroni salad for dinner last night. And I had it for dinner again tonight. I don't know what it is, but I do love my macaroni salad. I can't stand other left-overs, but give me my macaroni salad...not anyone else's...and I'm happy to eat it for weeks on end.

I think I'm going to make spaghetti this weekend. I haven't made sauce in a long, long time. Maybe even since a Monday Night Football party. I found a recipe at the New York Times (I swear I read other papers online. I swear), and while I don't like meatballs generally, I think I'm going to give the recipe a whirl. I've never heard of putting some of that stuff in spaghetti so we'll see how it goes. I guess maybe I should call Beth and see if she wants to partake of it since it will certainly make more than I can eat.

I also think it's probably time for a road trip. Not sure where I might head Saturday, but I think it's time to head somewhere. Maybe over into Louisiana.

It was 80 here today. Are you kidding me? Supposed to start raining again tomorrow. I suppose I won't complain since it was cold, and that means I don't have to turn on the heat. I might actually wear a skirt tomorrow. What do you think about that?

We went down to New Orleans last night. Ostensibly we were going for the Endymion parade, but we left a little late to get to that. (And by the way, the "we" is me, my friend Nichol and her boyfriend Aaron) We were supposed to then meet up with Nichol's uncles on Bourbon Street, which made me a little apprehensive.

Y'all know that I'm about the biggest chicken there is. We've all heard stories about how awful Bourbon Street is during Mardi Gras and with the lawlessness there, I was scared. It wasn't bad, though. Lots of coppers around, and for the most part, it was fairly easy to move. Don't get me wrong...it was crowded. Real crowded at about 11 when we decided to head for the car. But it wasn't claustrophobic until then.

We didn't really do anything other than wander up and down Bourbon and drink, but that's really what you do on Bourbon. I could have stood doing a little dancing, but that's OK.

I wound up driving home. Aaron was funny as we were walking back to the car. Lots of "golden lines" like..."Am I slurring now? Well, we'll just check again when we get to the car" and "I process alcohol faster than you. I'll be fine when we get to the car." Once we got to the car, as he's sitting behind the wheel, he says, "If we get pulled over, I'm gettin' a DUI."

So. I drove us home. I had a really good time. Glad I went. I didn't show my boobs, even though I was being mightily encouraged. I already have enough beads. No need to flash for more. In fact, we didn't see a lot of boobs on Bourbon. There were a couple of penises, though. Several men running around in g-strings and leopard print banana hammocks. Funny.

I spent quite a bit of time tonight cleaning the bedroom. *sigh* I've been a little depressed for awhile, and my housecleaning has gone to shit (not that it wasn't always shit, but you know). I haven't dusted in quite awhile. Gross, gross, gross. I suppose I need to do that room by room. *sigh*

Cobbler now has his eyes open! I think it's time for me to go for a little visit, and I relayed that message to his "daddy". He'll be coming home soon. Good grief. Puppy food. Chew toys. Shots. Ball-snipping. Heartworm pills. Christ. I think we're going to have to go for an obedience class too. I want Cobbler to be a well-behaved boy, and I'm not sure that I would know how to go about doing that on my own. *sigh*

I'm cold.

My horoscope seems to be saying that there's an opportunity on its way to me...that something I asked for awhile ago is about to make itself known. That I wasn't ready for it before, but I will be this time. I don't know. Maybe I'm gonna get laid this week. *grin*

I need to iron. And I need to go to bed. I don't have tomorrow off, so I've got to get up and go to work.

I think I'm getting a cold. At any rate, I don't feel very good. My head hurts, my nose is gross, and I'm coughy.

Supposed to head out to Beth's tomorrow night. Matt's coming in for the weekend and his parents are leaving. Interesting.

I picked up my order fo Girl Scout cookies. I don't remember what all I ordered, and I'm not real keen on opening the box right now.

I am tired, though, so I think I'm gonna take my girlies to bed. It's supposed to be down to 22 tonight. Guess I need to leave the water dripping?

It's Valentine's Day again. I wish I could buy into the whole thing. The day was OK, but the night turned out oddly. I was supposed to go to a friend's for dinner tonight...went by the new French bakery and picked up dessert. Didn't wind up going to dinner, though. She isn't feeling well, so here I am at home with my left-over meatloaf and mashed potatoes and puff pastries filled with cherries and lemon mousse.

I went to bed as soon as I got home because I was so overwhelmingly sad. I slept for two hours and then got up for dinner. I'm still hungry. Not quite sure what to do about that. Thought about making a cocktail, but I really don't know that I feel much like drinking when I'm sad. It seems incredibly...alcoholic.

Speaking of drinking, I have a new friend that seems to have some problems with alcoholism. I suppose I have little room to talk considering that I got so blitzed at the SuperBowl that I was not only ill but I don't remember it. However...I have beer in my fridge that my Sner brought me at Thanksgiving. I have wine under the cabinet that's been waiting for at least six months. But my new friend seems to have not met alcohol she doesn't like. A week or so ago she was drinking everclear and orange juice because that's all she had in the house. So I worry. Not that my worrying does anything. I just worry. It's one of my things. You know?

I think I'm going to have to make a sandwich or something. I'm starving. What the hell? I had dinner. Mashed potatoes and meatloaf. Stick to your ribs kinda food that apparently has not stuck to my ribs. What the hell? Have I mentioned that I'm having an incredibly weird period? Still? Wonder if that has anything to do with it. Probably. Maybe if I have my puff pastry all will be better?

The girlies were tearing each other up this evening. Peach was playing with a box, but when TSLO tried to get in on the action, it was on. It all wound up with a puff of black hair on the floor. Poor girlie. Maybe she needs some bonito flakes since her grand-Sner didn't get her anything for Valentine's Day.

And speaking of Grand-Sner's...I didn't get my Valentine's card. Hmmmm. Interesting. I suppose it's because it's been crappy weather there and it might be icky to get out.

It's cold here again. I want it to warm up so I can put my plants outside. I'm killing them indoors. Or maybe my girlies are killing them indoors. I just know that in the last month, my little tree thing is looking sad and my rubber plant is dropping leaves.

Anyway. I should eat something and go to bed. Finish my diet Coke with Splenda.

Hope y'all had a good Valentine's.

It's the day before Valentine's Day. I was going to write a whole bunch tonight, but I somehow got embroiled in the lesbian drama next door as well as some drama elsewhere. I didn't even get to really eat the dinner I made. Or do much of anything I'd planned.

I hope y'all have a good Valentine's. More tomorrow.

I'm supposed to be at Chili's with a whole bunch of people, but I really don't want to go. I'm suddenly grouchy, and I'm stupidly grouchy. The thing that I'm grouchy about is a stupid thing to be grouchy about. Chili's isn't really the place I want to go anyway. I don't know where I want to go, but it's not there. The fact that I'm here, writing, and I just put my pajamas on, means that I'm not going anywhere.

I have this anti-social thing that happens every now and again, and I can feel myself working up to a good one. I think I know what's behind it, but even here where I work through most of the things that bother me, I don't know so much that I want to work through it here.

My horoscope for this weekend says that if I want the unattainable, then perhaps the only way to attain it is to stop wanting it so much. I'm not sure how to do that. Seriously. I already think that most of the time I don't want it, but when I do want it, it's like this gaping wound that can't be filled.

I read a book review today that kinda speaks to my heart. Maybe. I don't think I want a relationship. I don't think I want the whole 9 yards, the dress, the cake, the choir. But maybe I do. Right now, I just don't want to be alone all the time. (and yet ironically...here I sit. At my house. Alone)

I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. I'm going to make a grilled cheese sandwich, smoke, and go to bed.

Remind me to tell you about Froggy Learns to Swim at the Chinese restaurant. I'd tell you now, but I'm too tired.

As a recommendation...skip the raspberry dark chocolate kisses. I thought they were going to be filled like the cherry cordial ones or the strawberry ones, but they're not. They're kinda gross, and now I have a whole bag of them.

A TMI warning for you.

I'm having an odd period. Just thought you'd like to know.

I'm going to bed. The girls and I are cold and tired.

I'm tired. Apparently I got totally and completely shit-faced last night. I don't know how badly I embarrassed myself, but it may have been bad. I may have been very vocal about wanting a certain someone in attendance...who's girlfriend was also present. Yeah. Whoops. I apologized to him, but I haven't heard back from him. Oh well. *sigh* (In my defense, he had been kissing me earlier in the evening)

I so did not want to get out of bed this morning. When the phone went off at 4:00, I had difficulty finding it (it was in the kitchen). I gave myself two advil, drank a big ol' glass of water and crawled back in bed for an hour. I think I might have still been intoxicated when I woke up...and up until about 10:00 this morning. Making copies was difficult.

It's warming up here. I think I'm going to try to get myself out of bed in time to go for a walk in the morning. And tomorrow night I'm going to go to the library and make those copies I've been meaning to make for awhile now. If I'm gonna have nothing to do at work, then I might as well work on my dissertation. You know?

I'm not sure how my girlies are feeling about the idea of a brother. Blackberry is looking at me like I'm Satan, although I don't quite know why. I'm not sure she's smart enough to know what I mean when I tell her that I'm getting her a brother. She sure is cute, though.

I don't know that I have a whole lot else to say this evening. That's never stopped me before, huh?

Have I mentioned how much the neighbors irritate me? Twice today, TWICE, they were blocking the driveway. When I came home from work, I couldn't get in the driveway. Later, when I went out to get some dinner, I couldn't leave. So pissed off. I contemplated letting the air out of their tires, but I think I've decided against that. I think that instead I'll just have John come by for a visit. Maybe if his patrol car is blocking them in, they'll get the fucking clue.

Sometimes I think that high school never really ended...that all of those insecurities that we had then, stay with us. The rejection, the fear, the angst...it's always there. When someone doesn't talk to us, or someone ignores us, or we realize situations aren't what we thought they were, it's still quite the zinger.

I'm going to bed. The girls and I are tired.

Linked Wonders

Wonderful Images

Wonderous Writing

Teaching Wonders

Wonderful Cooking

Daily Wonderings

February 2007

February 28, 2007

It's 7:15 on Wednesday night, and I am ready to go to bed. It's gonna storm tonight or in the early morning, which does not make me a happy fuzz.

There are no thoughts in my head. Maybe it's because I'm so tired. I don't really want to go to bed, though because I might miss something. It's a little sad, I think, but there it is.

Did y'all see the article about men's decreasing fertility? OK. I guess.

I'm going to bed. PMS and a cold at the same time suck ass.

February 27, 2007

I am sorry to be such a slacker weasel. I'll get better. I hope. Maybe. Something has to change. Maybe.

So, yeah. I decided that I needed to buy new flatware. I was tired of the mis-matched left-overs from a life that used to be mine. I feel like I need to buy new dishes as well. the past needs to be put away. Or at least that's how I feel. It could just be PMS, though. I dunno.

Will you be terribly upset if I donate the flatware, Sner?

So so craziness with the stock market this evening, huh? Wow. For conspiracy theorists, everything is starting to make sense, huh?

There's a job in Connecticut. I think I'm going to start putting together an application packet. It's for a WP director position. I don't know if I really want to do this. Connecticut doesn't speak to my soul. The job does, though, and I think that's probably what is the greater good. I feel so inadequate and so unprepared, which is nothing new, but still. I am once again thinking, what makes me think I'm qualified for this?

It's February 27. It's a hard day for some. And I'm sorry for that.

I drove through New Orleans this weekend. Stopped in at Cafe du Monde to spend a little time writing. It was the least crowded I've seen it. It's always hopping but not that night. Strange considering that it was Saturday night. I expected more.

New Orleans saddens me. It is still so lifeless. Driving through, the stagnation is almost a palpable thing, reaching its icy fingers out to touch you as you breeze through. If it catches the draft of your passing and not you, it's possible that it could all be blown out, but if it wraps around you, it could cause strangulation. The buildings are still empty, the doors hanging open like slack jaws, the drool long since dried to a flakey crust. Lawns grow wild and the hands of nature reach their long fingers out to begin the process of slowly taking back what was always theirs. The mountains, if there were mountains, would be winning again.

I read every article about New Orleans that I can find, and I know the situation is bleak. Crime is out of control (although here in tourist central there are plenty of patrols and deterrents). The infrastructure is still struggling. Poor people cannot afford to come back in many sense. If they can leave their current homes, they don't have the resources necessary for the rehabilitation and restoration that face them once they return. Organizations like Habitat for Humanity are not designed to help the worst of them, and the government aid is slow in coming.

The middle and upper classes who have returned, determined to not be broken by the juggernauts that was (and continues to be) Katrina and the response to the storm are now beginning to leave. It's too hard; it's too risky; and it's simply too much. So they go where they do not have to worry so intensely what danger lurks outside the front door.

I've read that New orleans couldn't support her population pre-Katrina. There were too many people, too many of whom were not pulling their weight. I want to say the population is sitting at a quarter of pre-storm, but I seem to recall maybe 40% is a better estimate. Even that is too much, but at the same time, not enough.

New Orleans calls to me. It seems there is so much possibility, so much promise. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. She has the chance to do it right-still-despite early missteps. It is not yet too late to turn things around. Part of me aches to be a piece of that, to contribute to find my purpose here. There is so much to be done, and modesty aside, I have a great deal to offer. But the sadness and stagnation frighten me. Stand still too long, breathe too deep, and strangulation begins.

February 24, 2007

I totally went on a road trip yesterday, and it has all of the hallmarks of a Classic Jen trip. Unfortunately, I don't really have the time or desire to talk about it right now. I'm tired. And it's late and I should go to bed.

I will say that I think I have managed to get the hang of eating crawfish. For the most part. I was even sucking the heads. Good for me!

I did a whole bunch of writing, most of which will probably wind up here within the next week or so. Lots of thoughts, lots of stuff going on.

It was a beautiful day here today. I went to the Trace and had a lovely walk and then took Esteban to the carwash because apparently he was attacked by a flock of angry birds last night. Totally covered in gross brown bird poo. It actually looked a lot like tobacco spit. I dunno. Very odd. I didn't do so good of a job of washing him; it's been awhile and I'm out of practice. I need to take him somewhere to get the interior done.

Boys confuse me. Let me just put that out there. Boys confuse me. (If any of you all see Wayne, tell him to give a supplicant a call)

My head hurts. My boss and one of the draftsmen at work were all congested on Friday. I've been taking advil cold and sinus off and on all weekend.

February 22, 2007

So, I was reading this article in the New York Times about the death penalty a week ago or so, and I'm just now getting around to writing about it. The article is already in the archives, so I won't link to it. Basically, though, it talked about how we want death sanitized and the reason behind the moratoriums on the death penalty stem from the pain it causes those that it is being administered to.

Now, y'all know that I am not a death penalty proponent. I've said before that I don't think it's enough, and that it's too easy. I don't know if death should be easy. I don't know if we should make death this anesthetized thing so that we're more comfortable with state-sponsored murder. I don't think it should be overly painful, but I don't think it should be something that distances us from the fact that we--not just the state, but us as members of the state--are in fact killing someone.

Wow. I just realized that I was using some language that is stronger and lies in a direction that I intended. I wonder if my objection to the death penalty is morphing into more of a moral thing. I suppose that I will have to spend some time thinking about that. Interesting.

I made macaroni salad for dinner last night. And I had it for dinner again tonight. I don't know what it is, but I do love my macaroni salad. I can't stand other left-overs, but give me my macaroni salad...not anyone else's...and I'm happy to eat it for weeks on end.

I think I'm going to make spaghetti this weekend. I haven't made sauce in a long, long time. Maybe even since a Monday Night Football party. I found a recipe at the New York Times (I swear I read other papers online. I swear), and while I don't like meatballs generally, I think I'm going to give the recipe a whirl. I've never heard of putting some of that stuff in spaghetti so we'll see how it goes. I guess maybe I should call Beth and see if she wants to partake of it since it will certainly make more than I can eat.

I also think it's probably time for a road trip. Not sure where I might head Saturday, but I think it's time to head somewhere. Maybe over into Louisiana.

It was 80 here today. Are you kidding me? Supposed to start raining again tomorrow. I suppose I won't complain since it was cold, and that means I don't have to turn on the heat. I might actually wear a skirt tomorrow. What do you think about that?

February 18, 2007

We went down to New Orleans last night. Ostensibly we were going for the Endymion parade, but we left a little late to get to that. (And by the way, the "we" is me, my friend Nichol and her boyfriend Aaron) We were supposed to then meet up with Nichol's uncles on Bourbon Street, which made me a little apprehensive.

Y'all know that I'm about the biggest chicken there is. We've all heard stories about how awful Bourbon Street is during Mardi Gras and with the lawlessness there, I was scared. It wasn't bad, though. Lots of coppers around, and for the most part, it was fairly easy to move. Don't get me wrong...it was crowded. Real crowded at about 11 when we decided to head for the car. But it wasn't claustrophobic until then.

We didn't really do anything other than wander up and down Bourbon and drink, but that's really what you do on Bourbon. I could have stood doing a little dancing, but that's OK.

I wound up driving home. Aaron was funny as we were walking back to the car. Lots of "golden lines" like..."Am I slurring now? Well, we'll just check again when we get to the car" and "I process alcohol faster than you. I'll be fine when we get to the car." Once we got to the car, as he's sitting behind the wheel, he says, "If we get pulled over, I'm gettin' a DUI."

So. I drove us home. I had a really good time. Glad I went. I didn't show my boobs, even though I was being mightily encouraged. I already have enough beads. No need to flash for more. In fact, we didn't see a lot of boobs on Bourbon. There were a couple of penises, though. Several men running around in g-strings and leopard print banana hammocks. Funny.

I spent quite a bit of time tonight cleaning the bedroom. *sigh* I've been a little depressed for awhile, and my housecleaning has gone to shit (not that it wasn't always shit, but you know). I haven't dusted in quite awhile. Gross, gross, gross. I suppose I need to do that room by room. *sigh*

Cobbler now has his eyes open! I think it's time for me to go for a little visit, and I relayed that message to his "daddy". He'll be coming home soon. Good grief. Puppy food. Chew toys. Shots. Ball-snipping. Heartworm pills. Christ. I think we're going to have to go for an obedience class too. I want Cobbler to be a well-behaved boy, and I'm not sure that I would know how to go about doing that on my own. *sigh*

I'm cold.

My horoscope seems to be saying that there's an opportunity on its way to me...that something I asked for awhile ago is about to make itself known. That I wasn't ready for it before, but I will be this time. I don't know. Maybe I'm gonna get laid this week. *grin*

I need to iron. And I need to go to bed. I don't have tomorrow off, so I've got to get up and go to work.

February 15, 2007

I think I'm getting a cold. At any rate, I don't feel very good. My head hurts, my nose is gross, and I'm coughy.

Supposed to head out to Beth's tomorrow night. Matt's coming in for the weekend and his parents are leaving. Interesting.

I picked up my order fo Girl Scout cookies. I don't remember what all I ordered, and I'm not real keen on opening the box right now.

I am tired, though, so I think I'm gonna take my girlies to bed. It's supposed to be down to 22 tonight. Guess I need to leave the water dripping?

February 14, 2007

It's Valentine's Day again. I wish I could buy into the whole thing. The day was OK, but the night turned out oddly. I was supposed to go to a friend's for dinner tonight...went by the new French bakery and picked up dessert. Didn't wind up going to dinner, though. She isn't feeling well, so here I am at home with my left-over meatloaf and mashed potatoes and puff pastries filled with cherries and lemon mousse.

I went to bed as soon as I got home because I was so overwhelmingly sad. I slept for two hours and then got up for dinner. I'm still hungry. Not quite sure what to do about that. Thought about making a cocktail, but I really don't know that I feel much like drinking when I'm sad. It seems incredibly...alcoholic.

Speaking of drinking, I have a new friend that seems to have some problems with alcoholism. I suppose I have little room to talk considering that I got so blitzed at the SuperBowl that I was not only ill but I don't remember it. However...I have beer in my fridge that my Sner brought me at Thanksgiving. I have wine under the cabinet that's been waiting for at least six months. But my new friend seems to have not met alcohol she doesn't like. A week or so ago she was drinking everclear and orange juice because that's all she had in the house. So I worry. Not that my worrying does anything. I just worry. It's one of my things. You know?

I think I'm going to have to make a sandwich or something. I'm starving. What the hell? I had dinner. Mashed potatoes and meatloaf. Stick to your ribs kinda food that apparently has not stuck to my ribs. What the hell? Have I mentioned that I'm having an incredibly weird period? Still? Wonder if that has anything to do with it. Probably. Maybe if I have my puff pastry all will be better?

The girlies were tearing each other up this evening. Peach was playing with a box, but when TSLO tried to get in on the action, it was on. It all wound up with a puff of black hair on the floor. Poor girlie. Maybe she needs some bonito flakes since her grand-Sner didn't get her anything for Valentine's Day.

And speaking of Grand-Sner's...I didn't get my Valentine's card. Hmmmm. Interesting. I suppose it's because it's been crappy weather there and it might be icky to get out.

It's cold here again. I want it to warm up so I can put my plants outside. I'm killing them indoors. Or maybe my girlies are killing them indoors. I just know that in the last month, my little tree thing is looking sad and my rubber plant is dropping leaves.

Anyway. I should eat something and go to bed. Finish my diet Coke with Splenda.

Hope y'all had a good Valentine's.

February 13, 2007

It's the day before Valentine's Day. I was going to write a whole bunch tonight, but I somehow got embroiled in the lesbian drama next door as well as some drama elsewhere. I didn't even get to really eat the dinner I made. Or do much of anything I'd planned.

I hope y'all have a good Valentine's. More tomorrow.

February 7, 2007

I'm supposed to be at Chili's with a whole bunch of people, but I really don't want to go. I'm suddenly grouchy, and I'm stupidly grouchy. The thing that I'm grouchy about is a stupid thing to be grouchy about. Chili's isn't really the place I want to go anyway. I don't know where I want to go, but it's not there. The fact that I'm here, writing, and I just put my pajamas on, means that I'm not going anywhere.

I have this anti-social thing that happens every now and again, and I can feel myself working up to a good one. I think I know what's behind it, but even here where I work through most of the things that bother me, I don't know so much that I want to work through it here.

My horoscope for this weekend says that if I want the unattainable, then perhaps the only way to attain it is to stop wanting it so much. I'm not sure how to do that. Seriously. I already think that most of the time I don't want it, but when I do want it, it's like this gaping wound that can't be filled.

I read a book review today that kinda speaks to my heart. Maybe. I don't think I want a relationship. I don't think I want the whole 9 yards, the dress, the cake, the choir. But maybe I do. Right now, I just don't want to be alone all the time. (and yet ironically...here I sit. At my house. Alone)

I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. I'm going to make a grilled cheese sandwich, smoke, and go to bed.

February 6, 2007

Remind me to tell you about Froggy Learns to Swim at the Chinese restaurant. I'd tell you now, but I'm too tired.

As a recommendation...skip the raspberry dark chocolate kisses. I thought they were going to be filled like the cherry cordial ones or the strawberry ones, but they're not. They're kinda gross, and now I have a whole bag of them.

A TMI warning for you.

I'm having an odd period. Just thought you'd like to know.

I'm going to bed. The girls and I are cold and tired.

February 5, 2007

I'm tired. Apparently I got totally and completely shit-faced last night. I don't know how badly I embarrassed myself, but it may have been bad. I may have been very vocal about wanting a certain someone in attendance...who's girlfriend was also present. Yeah. Whoops. I apologized to him, but I haven't heard back from him. Oh well. *sigh* (In my defense, he had been kissing me earlier in the evening)

I so did not want to get out of bed this morning. When the phone went off at 4:00, I had difficulty finding it (it was in the kitchen). I gave myself two advil, drank a big ol' glass of water and crawled back in bed for an hour. I think I might have still been intoxicated when I woke up...and up until about 10:00 this morning. Making copies was difficult.

It's warming up here. I think I'm going to try to get myself out of bed in time to go for a walk in the morning. And tomorrow night I'm going to go to the library and make those copies I've been meaning to make for awhile now. If I'm gonna have nothing to do at work, then I might as well work on my dissertation. You know?

I'm not sure how my girlies are feeling about the idea of a brother. Blackberry is looking at me like I'm Satan, although I don't quite know why. I'm not sure she's smart enough to know what I mean when I tell her that I'm getting her a brother. She sure is cute, though.

I don't know that I have a whole lot else to say this evening. That's never stopped me before, huh?

Have I mentioned how much the neighbors irritate me? Twice today, TWICE, they were blocking the driveway. When I came home from work, I couldn't get in the driveway. Later, when I went out to get some dinner, I couldn't leave. So pissed off. I contemplated letting the air out of their tires, but I think I've decided against that. I think that instead I'll just have John come by for a visit. Maybe if his patrol car is blocking them in, they'll get the fucking clue.

Sometimes I think that high school never really ended...that all of those insecurities that we had then, stay with us. The rejection, the fear, the angst...it's always there. When someone doesn't talk to us, or someone ignores us, or we realize situations aren't what we thought they were, it's still quite the zinger.

I'm going to bed. The girls and I are tired.

February 3, 2007

So, I have big news. I'm getting a puppy. Not a great dane puppy but rather a mutt puppy. I won't be getting him for a couple of months since he was just born on Thursday, but I think I'm getting him. I've already got his name picked out. Wanna know what it is? *grin*

Keep in mind that I already have a Peach and a Blackberry. What do you think of when you think of "peach" and "blackberry"? *grin* You guessed it. If the puppy comes home, then his name is gonna be Cobbler. *grin*

I know I don't need a puppy. I know that. And I know that a puppy is a lot of work (I'm dreading housebreaking). And I know that a puppy will make travel very difficult because he'll either have to come with me or he'll have to be boarded. But I've been wanting a dog for a long time. A really, really long time. It's been years since I had a dog.

Beth keeps saying there's time for me to change my mind. And I'm sure there is. Right now, though, I want a dog. I really want a dog. I know the yard isn't fenced, and I know I work all day, but I've got a plan. I won't detail it right now, but I've got a plan. Never fear.

Did I mention that Cobbler's Sner is a black lab/Dalmatian mix? (I haven't asked what daddy might be)

I've been telling the girlies that I'm getting them a brother. They kinda look at me like I'm crazy. I'm thinking that if the puppy is a roly poly puppy, it won't be too bad. Right? Let's hope not. It would be tragic if the Peach and Blackberry didn't like the Cobbler. *grin*

Anyway. Who y'all rooting for to win the big game tomorrow? I'm hoping that Peyton gets it. He's such a cutie! I realize that's not a reason to want someone to win, but it works for me.

The Jaycees are having a party, so I'm cooking. The pork is in the crockpot, and tomorrow I'll make Cari's cream tacos along with the little tortellini things. I'm contemplating Bonnie's Buffalo Chicken dip as well. Darrin says that he's planning on about 40 people coming...or at least he's invited that many folks. We're having keg and the whole 9 yards. A party sucks if you run out of food and booze, so I don't know if we're going to have enough of either. Beth and Mark and the HB and Tina are coming I think. We're doing a canned food drive in conjunction. God I hope I don't forget my canned food. *grin*

I did a bit of cleaning this afternoon/evening. I've been lazy about the housecleaning. Kitchen is almost done. Need to sweep and mop tomorrow. Clean off the table. Living room is almost done. Need to clean off the entertainment center. Bathroom is almost done...need to mop and sweep. Also need to recaulk the bathtub. How hard is that, do you think? Haven't even touched the bedrooms. Took two bags of trash out. Magazines and junk mail and things I hang on to because I'm compulsive. I have stacks and stacks of books.

How is it that we accumulate so much stuff? What is the compulsion to hang on to things? I need to go through and do a serious purge. Moving will be hell if I don't. (Not that I'm moving any time soon...maybe this summer to Atlanta. If I ever hear from anyone there ever again. *sigh*)

I've been thinking lately about a site re-design. It's been like this for how long? I do like the pink and black and the pink typewriter, though. The hosting company that I use has added a blog feature. Since that's what this is basically, I've been wondering about integrating that. I don't know, though. Just another thing for me to use as a way to avoid work on my dissertation. *sigh*

Had a lightbulb moment about that during a conversation with Amber. I need to think about it a little more, though.

It's still cold here. My girls are sticking close because they're freezing. I'm pretty chilly my ownself, so I sympathize.

I should go to bed. I have a lot to do in the morning, but before I go...

Have y'all heard about Texas's plan to immunize all 6th grade girls against HPV? If there's an opt out provision, I don't see what the big deal is. If we can protect our daughters from cervical cancer, then I think we should. I look at it like any other vaccine, and we apparently get twisted about this one because it involves sex.

Last Updated January 26, 2008

This page is the copyright property of Jen. Please direct any comments or questions to her by clicking on this email link.

So, I have big news. I'm getting a puppy. Not a great dane puppy but rather a mutt puppy. I won't be getting him for a couple of months since he was just born on Thursday, but I think I'm getting him. I've already got his name picked out. Wanna know what it is? *grin*

Keep in mind that I already have a Peach and a Blackberry. What do you think of when you think of "peach" and "blackberry"? *grin* You guessed it. If the puppy comes home, then his name is gonna be Cobbler. *grin*

I know I don't need a puppy. I know that. And I know that a puppy is a lot of work (I'm dreading housebreaking). And I know that a puppy will make travel very difficult because he'll either have to come with me or he'll have to be boarded. But I've been wanting a dog for a long time. A really, really long time. It's been years since I had a dog.

Beth keeps saying there's time for me to change my mind. And I'm sure there is. Right now, though, I want a dog. I really want a dog. I know the yard isn't fenced, and I know I work all day, but I've got a plan. I won't detail it right now, but I've got a plan. Never fear.

Did I mention that Cobbler's Sner is a black lab/Dalmatian mix? (I haven't asked what daddy might be)

I've been telling the girlies that I'm getting them a brother. They kinda look at me like I'm crazy. I'm thinking that if the puppy is a roly poly puppy, it won't be too bad. Right? Let's hope not. It would be tragic if the Peach and Blackberry didn't like the Cobbler. *grin*

Anyway. Who y'all rooting for to win the big game tomorrow? I'm hoping that Peyton gets it. He's such a cutie! I realize that's not a reason to want someone to win, but it works for me.

The Jaycees are having a party, so I'm cooking. The pork is in the crockpot, and tomorrow I'll make Cari's cream tacos along with the little tortellini things. I'm contemplating Bonnie's Buffalo Chicken dip as well. Darrin says that he's planning on about 40 people coming...or at least he's invited that many folks. We're having keg and the whole 9 yards. A party sucks if you run out of food and booze, so I don't know if we're going to have enough of either. Beth and Mark and the HB and Tina are coming I think. We're doing a canned food drive in conjunction. God I hope I don't forget my canned food. *grin*

I did a bit of cleaning this afternoon/evening. I've been lazy about the housecleaning. Kitchen is almost done. Need to sweep and mop tomorrow. Clean off the table. Living room is almost done. Need to clean off the entertainment center. Bathroom is almost done...need to mop and sweep. Also need to recaulk the bathtub. How hard is that, do you think? Haven't even touched the bedrooms. Took two bags of trash out. Magazines and junk mail and things I hang on to because I'm compulsive. I have stacks and stacks of books.

How is it that we accumulate so much stuff? What is the compulsion to hang on to things? I need to go through and do a serious purge. Moving will be hell if I don't. (Not that I'm moving any time soon...maybe this summer to Atlanta. If I ever hear from anyone there ever again. *sigh*)

I've been thinking lately about a site re-design. It's been like this for how long? I do like the pink and black and the pink typewriter, though. The hosting company that I use has added a blog feature. Since that's what this is basically, I've been wondering about integrating that. I don't know, though. Just another thing for me to use as a way to avoid work on my dissertation. *sigh*

Had a lightbulb moment about that during a conversation with Amber. I need to think about it a little more, though.

It's still cold here. My girls are sticking close because they're freezing. I'm pretty chilly my ownself, so I sympathize.

I should go to bed. I have a lot to do in the morning, but before I go...

Have y'all heard about Texas's plan to immunize all 6th grade girls against HPV? If there's an opt out provision, I don't see what the big deal is. If we can protect our daughters from cervical cancer, then I think we should. I look at it like any other vaccine, and we apparently get twisted about this one because it involves sex.