December 2009
December 8, 2009
Late Evening Update
I don't know when I'll get to sleep tonight. I should be tired. It's cold and raining and I should be tired. But I am not.
Kinda feeling quite a bit of lost right now. I'm sure that it's just this stupid period that's not a period and all the ramifications of that (yay! more hormones that make me feel like I can't breathe). I'm sure part of it is not being sure where I'm going or what I'm doing and the feeling of impending failure.
In the meantime I'd like to crawl in a hole and stay there for awhile, but seeing as how that's not an option, I guess I'll just keep forging ahead.
December 6, 2009
Early Evening Update
I could have written the same beginning paragraph that I did the last time I updated here. The Saints are playing so I'm here by myself. No biggie. I'll just switch over and watch my Cowboys win. Now that I think about such things, I'm going to have to find somewhere to watch the game on the 20th. It's one thing to watch the game at Saints fans central; it's another to be a fan of the team the Saints ar eplaying. So. My bad juju will have to take itself somewhere else. I bet I could hang out at Granny's because everyone else will be at the house.
Two weeks until I get to go home for two weeks. I. Can. Not. Wait.
I've spent most of the weekend asleep. All week long I've had a nasty sinus infection going on, and it hit critical point Saturday morning. I thought I was going to throw up when I crawled out of the bed Saturday morning. My head hurt so bad. It was like migraine pain. Combine that with the nausea...ugh. I headed out for a little bit because I had a couple of errands to run, but as soon as I got home, I took some Nyquil and crawled under the blankets. Slept from about 5 until 10:30. Was up until about 1 and went back to bed. I feel a little better today, but I've slept a bunch too.
It's cold. I've finally (in December) turned on the furnace. It was 54 in the apartment last night when I woke up, and while the electric blanket is nice, I decided it was time. Of course, as soon as I turned it on and it started burning off the dust that has accumlated since the last time it was turned on, all three of the smoke detectors went off. It was about five minutes of intermittent chirping and whining before it was finished. Mind you it's not cranked up as much as some folks would like (62), but I'm good with it being slightly chilly in the house.
I need to get to the laundry. And bring stuff out of the freezer so I can make jambalaya. It's funny how you think that an 18.5 pound turkey will last forever. It doesn't. Everything that I didn't freeze (and some of what I did) is now gone. There's still a thing of gumbo up there in the freezer, as well as a bigger bag of dark meat and a smaller bag of white meat. I'll be taking most of what's in the bigger bag and making jambalaya with it. That will feed my colleagues on Wednesday, and then it will probably last me until the beginning of the week. After that, though...the turkey will be dead. I suppose that two weeks worth of meals will be OK.
My kitten is hacking up hairballs...which means I need to go in and put some Vaseline on her paws. Be right back.
I read this article today, and I have to say that I have some mixed feelings about it. Some of you know about this internal struggle I've been having with what it means to love and be in love, and it would appear to me that this couple, like most of us, have bought into the lie of what relationships are supposed to be. What is wrong with "good enough"? If you are companionable friends who respect each other and care for each other, who have some passion mixed in there to sustain you during the harder times, isn't that what it's about? Coach and I have had long discussions lately about how you make a life with someone, how you create this space in which to love each other and live. I think he and I have a similar notion of what that is and should be. That's been somewhat confirmed by the conversations I've also had with people who have long been married. I think we've been conditioned to believe in a fairytale that might not exist.
For our holiday dinner this year, the boss man is taking us to Ruth's Chris. That should be fun. He pays for dinner; we get drinks. I'm glad that it's not on the night that I'm leaving town. That sucked last year. The bad thing is that I will miss the Christmas party again. That's the night that I'm heading home. That's fine so whatever.
I haven't been here in so long. I should have much more to say, shouldn't I? Tomorrow night. Maybe.
Last Updated January 6, 2010
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