December 2007

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December 2007

December 29, 2007

So what do y'all think about the assination of Benazir Bhutto in Pakistan? Not surprisingly, the story is a mess. First she was shot through the neck and the head and now she died of a skull fracture and wasn't hit by shrapnel? Yeah...OK. I'm not sure I'm buying the revisionist history.

I'm also not sure that she was the great hope that she was portrayed as. I understand the importance of competent, America-friendly leaders in that region of the world...people who are willing to root out the terrorists wherever they may be, but I'm not sure that Bhutto was really that person. Given that she was ousted from office not once but twice...did we really want to back a person with that kind of a reputation? I suppose it's a case of the deveil-you-know versus the devil-you-know when it comes to Pakistan. Musharraf tends to say what we need him to when we need him to but the follow-through is less than satisfactory. I have this niggling feeling that Bhutto would have been the same.

Are you ready for the Iowa caucus to be over? I'm ready for it to be over. I really do think that this basicly four years of campaigning has led to some serious fatigue. At least for me. I'm rapidly getting to the point that I don't care. I wonder if I'm alone in that feeling. I will be interested to see how well Ron Paul does in Iowa. The Paulites maintain that the proof will be in the pudding, and I'm waiting to see how that works for them. The man can raise money, for sure, but he's still not polling well. I understand that polls don't really mean a lot at this stage of the game, but at the same time...I think he really does have to start doing something to add more weight to his candidacy. Right now he's like the 19 year old who runs for mayor as a joke...and it's a joke. He's too far on the fringe and while he might be gaining momentum, I don't know if he's got enough time to gain that heft and air of credibility that he will ultimately need if he wants to be successful.

I so didn't mean that to turn into a screed about Ron Paul, but I suppose that's the way it went. I still don't know who I want to win the Democratic nomination, although I lean towards Edwards. If he doesn't do well in Iowa and New Hampshire, he'll be toast too, and I'll be left with Hillary or Obama. I'm not altogether familiar with either of them, but I've got time. That's the thing about this whole mess and the false urgency that's being thrust upon us. We've still got more than enough time to figure this deal out.

Read this article in the WaPo this afternoon about grading disparities. I've not understood for a really long time exactly what grades were supposed to mean. If I get a 91 in a course, does that mean I know more than someone who got an 89? Does it matter if I can "master" 68% of the material or 75%? What exactly does the number mean and what does it mean when it gets translated to a letter? I strived for those high grades, complete with extra credit (what the hell does extra credit mean anyway? that you were willing to do more busy work than other folks?) when I was in school, but as a teacher, I never quite understood what the big deal was. Or how to wrap my head around exactly what the thing was supposed to mean. Maybe I think about things too much.

Finally got my Christmas bonus from the boss. I need a new job. I guess I'll see what I can scrounge up next week. I don't want to say anything more than that.

What are y'all doing for New Year's? I'm going out to the MS Parents'. New Year's Eve is really not a big deal to me, although I gotta say that I really do wish that I had someone to kiss at midnight. Doesn't look like that's going to happen, and I suppose that's OK. I don't know that I've ever really had a good NYE, and I don't see it as some terribly romantic holiday. I do need to go buy a cute new sweater to wear to the party, though. It's supposed to be chilly. Think I'm going to wear jeans. New Year's Day, I suppose I'll make the traditional black-eyed peas, cabbage, and pork. I need to go to the store and get the cabbage and some ham hocks to flavor the peas. Cornbread mix too. I figure I can use all the help I can get. I've already got the laundry going because you're not supposed to wash on New Year's. Or let anything go out of the house.

I think I'm going to create my own little New Year's ritual. I'll tell you how it goes after I do it.

Have you made any resolutions? I've got three that I'm sticking to this year.

Write my dissertation and graduate from USM

Remember to put lipstick on before leaving the house and reapply throughout the day. (Have been practicing this)

Do my nails once a week. (Myself...I can't afford to go somewhere to get them done. Have been practicing since Thanksgiving)

I'm also resolving to get a new job, but that's not really a New Year's resolution because it's not really an option to not get a new job.

Wow. I haven't written this much in a really long time, have I?

I think I need a day to run away and join the circus. I was seriously considering driving over to say Covington tomorrow to the World Market to pick up a couple of bottles of sparkling wine. I'm not going to be home to drink it on NYE, but it's always nice to have a bottle around. Reminds me...I'll need to go get some orange juice so I can make mimosas on New Years Day. If I do over to Covington tomorrow, I can swing over to New Orleans and take a ride or two on the St. Charles street car. It's back in operation. There will probably be a lot of folks in New Orleans this weekend since the Sugar Bowl and the National Championship game are both being played there. Hmmmmm...

Did you see a week or so ago that the state of New Jersey repealed the death penalty? I personally am not a fan of the death penalty. I've gone into the reasons here before many times so I won't bore you with the details. In addition to my own personal feelings about the death penalty, I think that there are serious problems with the way it is applied. A person who murders another may or may not get the death penalty. But in Louisiana, a person was recently given the death penalty for raping an 8 year old. The disparity is troubling to me. It might not be to anyone else, but it is to me.

I'm watching 24 right now. I never got into it when it first started, and I have to say, that if all the episodes are like this, I don't think I'll be getting into it. Kiefer Sutherland's intensity and over-acting really isn't doing it for me.

Anyway. It's late, and I'm tired. This puppy is gonna crawl in the bed with me, and we're gonna sleep like rocks.

December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas y'all. Hope it was a good day for you. It was quiet here. Went out to Beth and Mark's for a little while this morning. Came home and took a nap. I was supposed to go out to a friend's tonight but those plans fell through. The other person who was supposed to call didn't. Keep hearing "Lonesome Loser".

So I'm here watching Monster Hunters on the History Channel. I've learned that it's not possible for a human being to move the way the supposed Big Foot in the California (Oregon?) video moves, so it can't be a person moving awkwardly in a heavey monkey suit. Has something to do with the knee movements. I wasn't paying that close of attention. Sorry. Am now watching about wild dogs or some such.

Thought about going to the movies, but I have to go to work in the morning. I should be looking up writing activities because I have a meeting for that tomorrow afternoon, but I'm not really all that interested in that either. As it stands right now, I'm seriously considering a heavily doctored mug of hot cocoa, a bath, and the bed. Probably, though, I'm just going to go to bed.

I've been in a funk all month long, and it's still here.

The SCB came over Sunday and replaced my light switch. Brought his 85 year old Pops with him. I like old folks. It was sweet of the boy to come by and do that for me. First time I've seen him in a month. *sigh* I know he's been busy, but damn. Begins to get to me. Gave him his Christmas present while he was here. I think he liked it. I dunno. I don't know when I'm going to get to see him again. His Pops leaves Thursday, I think.

There's something wrong with the electrical system in the car. The blinkers are on the fritz and now the cruise control only works intermittently. Did I mention that I recently went over 100,000 miles? Like me, I suppose it's falling apart.

I suppose that it's time to begin thinking about the new year and what it's going to bring. I don't know if I'm going to make any resolutions this year. Other than to keep my nails done. I redid them this afternoon.

December 21, 2007

It just doesn't feel like Christmas. I don't know what's wrong with me. Traffic is crazy. It took me 20 minutes to get down 40th Avenue to the post office.

There are a few tantalizing job prospects on the horizon. I really am upset with my boss and the way this last week has turned out. It's kinda like screwing with people, but that's all I'm going to say right now.

I'm supposed to be on the coast tomorrow night, but I don't have anyone to watch the puppy, and with her being in heat, I'm real keen on leaving her in someone's backyard where another dog could get to her. We don't need puppies here. I might follow Mark and Beth down, but I don't know if I really want to drive all the way down there and back. Decisions.

It's solstice tonight. Maybe with the changing of the season, things will feel better.

I am a bit restless. I thought that maybe I should head over to New Orleans for the day, sit somewhere and write. But. I don't know that's the best idea for me right now. I do need to head somewhere with a World Market so I can pick up a few bottles of champagne for New Year's Eve. I imagine I'll be here at the house by myself. Or maybe not. I think Beth said something about maybe something at her house? And Polly and her boy don't have plans. Hmmmm...

The lightswitch in the kitchen is broken, which means I can't turn on the light in the kitchen. I'd call the landlord to have them fix it, but becuase of the holiday, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't get fixed until after new year's. I don't know if I want to try to do it myself. The PSB was explaining it to me, but we all know that I don't understand things by listening to them. Perhaps someone will take pity on me and come fix it for me. Although I don't know who.

December 20, 2007

It's been a rough December. Some times December is hard anyway, but for some reason this year it's really bad. I'm not sure what's going on, but there it is. Maybe it's the fact that we, until recently, had some decidedly unChristmas-like weather. It was in the mid-80s for goodness sake. I'm still not ready for Christmas at all. I just got my Christmas cards out. I should be writing them right now, but I'm not. I keep feeling like disaster is looming. It gets closer and closer every single day...and I don't know how to avoid it. I feel like I'm going to puke right now.

I think my puppy is finally in heat. She's not bleeding, but she's swollen where she shouldn't be. I know I should have gotten her fixed before now. I know. I know. I know. But since I didn't. Eh. Guess she'll be in her crate when she does start the icky messiness. And then with my non-existent bonus check, we'll go to the vet. (She stinks too. She's gotta have a bath. Guess maybe I'll do that tomorrow night)

It seemed like there was so much to tell you but now I can't think of what it was.

The cats aren't very happy with me. We had to switch fud and they apparently aren't very inclined to eat what is now in their bowl. They don't seem to understand that I'm not really one of those that is willing to entertain their finnickiness. For god's sake, I don't let them sleep in the bed unless they're going to sleep at the foot of it. What makes them think that holding out is going to get them a different kind of fud. (and I know that I should have gradually switched their fud, but unfortunately I didn't get the choice to do it that way)

I should finally get my stipend from the writing project tomorrow. It's taken long enough to make that happen. The thing that iritates me the most about it was that I kept asking about it, but no one checked on it. I was the one who had to do the legwork. That pisses me off. You know if it was their money, they'd be scrambling and staying on top of it.

I'm so poor that it's not even funny. I just paid bills, and well. It's not pretty. At all. I need a new job (I've applied for a couple of jobs these evening...two part time, two full-time, one here, one in Pensacola). I think I need to get rid of my cable...but not the internet. Why do I need to watch television anyway? I'm supposed to be working on my dissertation. I need to finish my degree so I can get out of here and stop worrying about money. What is wrong with me?

Have I told y'all about my mole? Ugh. The mole that's been on the front of my neck for as long as I can remember has been causing me pain this week. Actually it doesn't hurt today. It's still a little red and a little swollen, but it's not as bad as it was. I think I bumped it or scratched it or something. With no insurance, I can't afford to go to the doctor, so I'm going to believe that it is nothing serious, and that's what it's going to be.

Anyway. I've got to stop worrying. My tooth is hurting again. (Good grief, I'm apparently falling apart right now)

I read a couple of articles this morning that I thought were interesting and wanted to talk about, but I think I need to go to bed instead. Hope y'all are doing well and that your holiday is filled with happiness.

December 12, 2007

Today is my Sner's birthday. She's...older. Not old, though. She's still a young whippersnapper. I will get her pressie in the mail this weekend, along with everyone's Christmas cards.

I waxed my eyebrows and lips this morning before I went to work, and tonight when I got home, I did the bikini wax. It really gets easier the more you do it. If you use the little oil stuff that comes with the kit, then it's even easier.

I'm kind of at sixes and sevens right now. I'm not sure if it's just that it's December and we all know that December sucks if you're in my family.

I'm watching an old episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live. He and Danny Devito are wasted. It makes me want to drink some limoncello. If I didn't have to buy booze for the making of egg nog this coming week, I'd so be looking for a bottle of it. Not that I'd know where to get it here, but I'd look.

I have more to say, but it's going to have to wait for another evening. It's way late, and I need to sleep. Kisses.

December 10, 2007

Today when I went to lunch at 2:00, the sign at the bank said 82 degrees. Please check today's date. 82. I had to turn on the AC when I got home because it was 80 in the house, and that's just too damn hot. 82. Let me say that again. 82. It's not supposed to cool down until the weekend, I think. And "cool down" will be 65. Holy crow.

There was so much to tell you, but for the life of me, I can't remember most of it.

Hmmmmm...new nail polish makes a difference in the outcome of your manicure. I polished my nails last night, and they ended up gross and bubbled. Polished them tonight with new polish, and they're lovely and smooth. If y'all are trying to find stocking stuffers for me...shades of red nail polish will work great. I don't like the plain red, though. It needs a little depth and a little sparkle or something ot make it interesting.

I'm trying to think what else. I think it's probably time to redo the bathroom. I've got to buy a new shower curtain, so it's probably time for the duckies to go. Not quite sure what to replace them with, though.

I have to take my phone in and have them look at it. I can't get the bluetooth to work, nor can I transfer files to my computer or from the computer to the phone. That means I'm eithe ran idiot (possible) or that there's something wrong (also possible).

This puppy is on the floor at my feet. I had to put my feet up because she was actually sleeping on them. She's heavy.

Ironically, I spent the better part of the last week trying to keep myself from getting sick, right? Sucking down green tea, taking vitamin c, popping cold meds. I'm a little snuffly, but that's about it. The boy? The boy wanted to come to dinner tonight (apparently), but he is sick as a dog. Said earlier that he was running a 101 fever. Good grief. Can't win for losing.

So, y'all know that occasionally, I get to feeling like the world is going to end. Right? And usually that winds up meaning absolutely nothing. I was feeling it something fierce today. All queasy and a little clammy. Totally anxious, all day long. Sent a couple of text messages out to friends asking them to be careful today. Almost immediately got a call from a friend asking me what I knew and what was going on because he'd just gotten a death threat and was leaving the police station. F-R-E-A-K-Y. Still feeling a little uneasy. Strange.

Can't believe it's alreayd the 10th of the month. I've got to get my Christmas cards done. Ugh. Not that I don't want to send them. Just that they take me so long because I wrote so much. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I suppose the sooner I get on it, the sooner it will be done, huh?

December 9, 2007

What a waste of a day. I got up the first time around 7:30, walked the doggie and fed her. Put the roast in the crockpot to make carnitas. Then went back to bed because my head was killing me. Slept until about 1:00. Got up, puttered around, went to the store, where there were no multi-grain or wheat tortillas to be found. Did my nails. Need to buy new nail polish and redo them tomorrow night because I have bubbles. The bubbles drive me insane I tell you.

I need to write my Christmas cards. I was going to do it today, but I couldn't find my green pen. Suppose that means I will need to pick one up tomorrow so I can get those out in the mail before it gets to be way too late. I should have done them long before now, but I just haven't been real inclined.

There's more to say, but I think I'm going to go to bed. It's very late, and I need to go to bed.

December 7, 2007

I took my puppy to Petsmart today so she could get her picture made with Santa Paws. What an experience. The picture is actually pretty crappy, but $5.00 from my $8.95 purchase price goes to the local animal shelter, so I suppose it was worth it. There are times when I wonder if my puppy is as well-behaved as I'd like her to be, and let me tell you, at least this afternoon, she was the best doggie in the whole wide world. I suppose I shouldn't get too big-headed. Maybe not the best doggie in the whole wide world. Maybe just the best doggie at Petsmart today.

There were tons of other dogs there, and she just sat between my feet. She didn't bark or try to get to the other dogs. Just sat between my feet. I was so very proud of her. Such a good girl she was, and I was such the happy momma. Some guy actually came up to me and said that he thought she was such a pretty girl. He wanted to know where I got my "lab". Had to inform him that she was just a mutt, but that she was a pretty good mutt, all things considered. I love my puppy.

In other news, I went to see The Golden Compass this afternoon. I love Iorek Byrinson! Love him! Gandalf's voice wasn't right for him, though. I pictured him as having a much younger sounding voice. He was a prince when he was exiled. He shouldn't sound like an old man. Other than that, I thought it was a good show. Oh, almost forgot Sam Elliot. He's still hot. Even if he is an old man. It was a very fast movie. Could have probably been a little longer so things could have been explained a little better. Certainly sets up the sequel. I'm ready for it.

It has been a rough day. Very sad. Y'all know that sometimes I get like that. today was kinda like a perfect storm of stuff. Unfortunately, I may have taken it out on the SCB. It's been almost three weeks since I've really seen him. My messages haven't been returned. I have issues. I admit that, and I know it. I don't like feel like I'm imposing on someone. I don't want to be somewhere I'm not wanted. If I'm not getting a response, I think I'm not wanted. If something has changed, then just let me know and I'll toddle off into the ether.

He says, though, that nothing has changed, he's trying to do the things I want, he cares about me. I just have to remind myself that this isn't a relationship. When I start thinking of it as a relationship, that's where I get into trouble. I suppose I also need to remind myself that I have issues. Which are mine to own...and I shouldn't take that out on someone else.

My head is killing me, and I'm pretty sure that I am in fact sick. There's a sort of soreness in my throat. I so cannot afford to be sick. I cannot afford much these days, but being sick is way up there on the list. I suppose I'll just tough it out, though.

Bought 17 pounds of pork today. It was on sale for 99 cents/pound, and it's the stuff that I use to make carnitas, which will be what I give the MS brothers for Christmas. Plus I like carnitas. I'm making them tomorrow.

Anyway, it's late and I need to go to bed. Sleeping will probably be good for this cold thing that I have going on. Plus I need to clean the house tomorrow and do laundry and cook. *sigh* And do my nails. This manicure I got the day after Thanksgiving is just now starting to look worn.

December 6, 2007

Earlier in the day, I really felt like the vitamin C and the green tea and the cold medicine was working, but now, not so much. I so don't want to be sick. The folks who have this grossness have been down for two weeks. Steriod shots. Drugs. Hundreds of dollars at the doctor's office and the pharmacy. That scares me. Being sick without health insurance scares me. Terribly.

I watched Grey's Anatomy for the first time in a long time tonight. I thought it was a good episode. I still can't stand Izzy. Think she's about the whiniest woman. *sigh*

I read a lot of stuff today that I could probably talk about tonight, but I can't remember it now. Not quite sure what that's about. Something about ethanol and how we're getting screwed on that deal. Which is true. (write your representatives and tell them to figure something else out)

Are y'all done with your Christmas shopping? I'm nowhere near done, but I pretty much have an idea for every one. I think. All that remains is to do the actual shopping and putting in the time to create the other ones.

Have I mentioned how much I hate cleaning the litter box? I've been spoiled the last three years with the littermaid. I need to get serious about the bidding for another one on ebay.

I need to take some more Vitamin C, a couple of cold pills, and take the doggie out before we curl up with our electric blanket.

December 5, 2007

So the vitamin C, green tea, and cold medicine does not appear to be working. I really, really don't want to be sick.

There was a discussion elsewhere today about what people would like to do to a man who shot a girl 6 times. Some of the proposed punishments were frankly barbaric. I really don't understand the urge to meet horrific violence with more horrific violence. I mean...we *are* rational human beings. To meet violence with violence when we are not personally threatened seems like an incredible loss of control.

I have more thoughts, but I really need to go to bed. Sorry. More tomorrow night. Maybe.

December 4, 2007

My tooth hurts again. But then again, I've been stressed out a bit, and most of my teeth are hurting. I've done some searching tonight on dental insurance or discount dental programs. It's looking like I can purchase a discount program for about $10/month (with a $45 processing fee for the year), and that will entitle me to a discount at participating dentists (which are in my area) that gets me a root canal at about $400...plus the cost of a crown. Which appears to be about $450. I'm not sure how much cheaper that would be than just paying for everything.

Regardless, I don't have that kind of money laying around. Looks like I really need to find a job with insurance. And one that pays me more.

Anyway. It's late, and I should probably go to bed. I put the electric blanket on the bed last night. One side of it doesn't really work. You can't turn it higher than 3 and then sometime in the middle of the night, it turns itself off. *sigh* I guess it's good that I like to sleep on the left side of the bed to begin with.

I'm feeling slightly sorry for myself. That's OK. It'll get better here shortly.

The dog has been rotten lately. She knows how to lay down and to sit, but the last two nights, she has not wanted to show that she actually knows how to do that. Amber, are y'all having problems with Max like that? Or is it just my lax parenting style?

Probably the later, huh?

I bought Eric's Christmas present tonight. Picked it up at Hudson's. I hadn't been in there in quite awhile. I was in search of red candles (didn't find them). I was unimpressed, although they do have a stock of clothes in from Kohl's, selling at $7.99/piece. I might go back and dig through to see if there's anything of interest.

There have been very sick people at work. I am starting to sniffle. I better not be getting it. I'm hoping to spend time with the boy this weekend, and it will piss me off to no end if I'm sick.

December 2, 2007

Wow. I am really struggling with the idea that it's already December. Where does the time go? I mean really? How does it get to be another month gone, almost another year? And what do I have to show for all of that time? What has happened in my life? It used to be that I documented the minutia of my life on these pages so I could easily see what I had done with that time, but I've gotten rather bad about that. Probably because there's not a whole lot to tell. *sigh*

I need to get y'all caught up a bit, don't I? Good grief, where to start? I suppose it might be easiest to work my way backward, huh?

Yesterday was the Hattiesburg Jaycee's Christmas parade. All-in-all, I think it was probably a better parade than last year. I'm pretty sure that we had a few less entries than last year, but I think we did OK. I also think we made money on it. We raised our entry fee from $10 to $20 this year and not only did we have basically the same number of entrants (maybe 5-10 less), we had the larger number actually pay for the privilege to be in the parade. The new police chief rode a motorcycle at the head of the parade, and that was really nice to see him come out and support us like that, although I realize that it wasn't about supporting us but rather about getting his face out there in the public, letting people know that he's not the former chief. Whatever it was, we were glad to have him.

After the parade, the MS parents and I went to Roots Reunion downtown. Some good bluegrass played. Amazing little fiddler. She should stick with playing, though, and stay away from the singing. The Cotton Blossom Singers from the Piney Woods School performed some excellent spirituals, although I'm not sure how the crowd appreciated it. Lots of folks left during. L.C. Ulmer was good, although the kid that was playing with him looked terribly uncomfortable and stiff.

Friday night we went to the Mahogany for some cocktails. Got the SCB to come out with us for a little while. He wasn't going to at first, said I was the only one there that he'd know. To which I responded, I'm not enough? I mean, it had been a week and a half since I'd seen him. Geez. So, he showed up until his friends made it into town. I should be happy with that, but I'm really not. He told me that he would be out of town this coming week for work. It kinda irritates me that if I hadn't invited him out, I wouldn't have seen him for two weeks.

As it is, this past week, I've been feeling like we're heading into territory that we've been through before, but I don't know. He said to trust him, so that's what I'm working on doing. I need to keep reminding myself that we're not in a relationship. We're not dating. So. That means that if I don't see him, it's OK. And you know what, I suppose it really is OK. No worries here. Certainly puts to test my theories about relationships and attachment, etc.

(See how quickly I can talk myself out of things? *sigh*)

Other than that, I think it was an uneventful week.

Other than the drives from hell, it was a good Thanksgiving at home. I got sent back with my very own pecan pie. The weather was crappy so there wsn't a lot of yard work that could be done. Saw Shannie, spent time with Cari and her sweet kids, had dinner with the extended family. Sner and I spent some time shopping and I brought lots of beer home with me (it's still in the trunk because I haven't felt like drinking it yet). I think that about sums it up.

Maybe later in the week I'll get some pics of the Thanksgiving and the Christmas parade up so y'all can live vicariously.

Anyway. I'm tired. Need to get in the bed with my puppy. Whom I let sleep in the bed with me last night. She hauled herself up, which was comical in and of itself, and she got the picture that she sleeps at the bottom or she sleeps on the floor. So. Yeah. Good deal.

Last Updated January 26, 2008

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December 29, 2007

So what do y'all think about the assination of Benazir Bhutto in Pakistan? Not surprisingly, the story is a mess. First she was shot through the neck and the head and now she died of a skull fracture and wasn't hit by shrapnel? Yeah...OK. I'm not sure I'm buying the revisionist history.

I'm also not sure that she was the great hope that she was portrayed as. I understand the importance of competent, America-friendly leaders in that region of the world...people who are willing to root out the terrorists wherever they may be, but I'm not sure that Bhutto was really that person. Given that she was ousted from office not once but twice...did we really want to back a person with that kind of a reputation? I suppose it's a case of the deveil-you-know versus the devil-you-know when it comes to Pakistan. Musharraf tends to say what we need him to when we need him to but the follow-through is less than satisfactory. I have this niggling feeling that Bhutto would have been the same.

Are you ready for the Iowa caucus to be over? I'm ready for it to be over. I really do think that this basicly four years of campaigning has led to some serious fatigue. At least for me. I'm rapidly getting to the point that I don't care. I wonder if I'm alone in that feeling. I will be interested to see how well Ron Paul does in Iowa. The Paulites maintain that the proof will be in the pudding, and I'm waiting to see how that works for them. The man can raise money, for sure, but he's still not polling well. I understand that polls don't really mean a lot at this stage of the game, but at the same time...I think he really does have to start doing something to add more weight to his candidacy. Right now he's like the 19 year old who runs for mayor as a joke...and it's a joke. He's too far on the fringe and while he might be gaining momentum, I don't know if he's got enough time to gain that heft and air of credibility that he will ultimately need if he wants to be successful.

I so didn't mean that to turn into a screed about Ron Paul, but I suppose that's the way it went. I still don't know who I want to win the Democratic nomination, although I lean towards Edwards. If he doesn't do well in Iowa and New Hampshire, he'll be toast too, and I'll be left with Hillary or Obama. I'm not altogether familiar with either of them, but I've got time. That's the thing about this whole mess and the false urgency that's being thrust upon us. We've still got more than enough time to figure this deal out.

Read this article in the WaPo this afternoon about grading disparities. I've not understood for a really long time exactly what grades were supposed to mean. If I get a 91 in a course, does that mean I know more than someone who got an 89? Does it matter if I can "master" 68% of the material or 75%? What exactly does the number mean and what does it mean when it gets translated to a letter? I strived for those high grades, complete with extra credit (what the hell does extra credit mean anyway? that you were willing to do more busy work than other folks?) when I was in school, but as a teacher, I never quite understood what the big deal was. Or how to wrap my head around exactly what the thing was supposed to mean. Maybe I think about things too much.

Finally got my Christmas bonus from the boss. I need a new job. I guess I'll see what I can scrounge up next week. I don't want to say anything more than that.

What are y'all doing for New Year's? I'm going out to the MS Parents'. New Year's Eve is really not a big deal to me, although I gotta say that I really do wish that I had someone to kiss at midnight. Doesn't look like that's going to happen, and I suppose that's OK. I don't know that I've ever really had a good NYE, and I don't see it as some terribly romantic holiday. I do need to go buy a cute new sweater to wear to the party, though. It's supposed to be chilly. Think I'm going to wear jeans. New Year's Day, I suppose I'll make the traditional black-eyed peas, cabbage, and pork. I need to go to the store and get the cabbage and some ham hocks to flavor the peas. Cornbread mix too. I figure I can use all the help I can get. I've already got the laundry going because you're not supposed to wash on New Year's. Or let anything go out of the house.

I think I'm going to create my own little New Year's ritual. I'll tell you how it goes after I do it.

Have you made any resolutions? I've got three that I'm sticking to this year.

Write my dissertation and graduate from USM
Remember to put lipstick on before leaving the house and reapply throughout the day. (Have been practicing this)
Do my nails once a week. (Myself...I can't afford to go somewhere to get them done. Have been practicing since Thanksgiving)

I'm also resolving to get a new job, but that's not really a New Year's resolution because it's not really an option to not get a new job.

Wow. I haven't written this much in a really long time, have I?

I think I need a day to run away and join the circus. I was seriously considering driving over to say Covington tomorrow to the World Market to pick up a couple of bottles of sparkling wine. I'm not going to be home to drink it on NYE, but it's always nice to have a bottle around. Reminds me...I'll need to go get some orange juice so I can make mimosas on New Years Day. If I do over to Covington tomorrow, I can swing over to New Orleans and take a ride or two on the St. Charles street car. It's back in operation. There will probably be a lot of folks in New Orleans this weekend since the Sugar Bowl and the National Championship game are both being played there. Hmmmmm...

Did you see a week or so ago that the state of New Jersey repealed the death penalty? I personally am not a fan of the death penalty. I've gone into the reasons here before many times so I won't bore you with the details. In addition to my own personal feelings about the death penalty, I think that there are serious problems with the way it is applied. A person who murders another may or may not get the death penalty. But in Louisiana, a person was recently given the death penalty for raping an 8 year old. The disparity is troubling to me. It might not be to anyone else, but it is to me.

I'm watching 24 right now. I never got into it when it first started, and I have to say, that if all the episodes are like this, I don't think I'll be getting into it. Kiefer Sutherland's intensity and over-acting really isn't doing it for me.

Anyway. It's late, and I'm tired. This puppy is gonna crawl in the bed with me, and we're gonna sleep like rocks.

December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas y'all. Hope it was a good day for you. It was quiet here. Went out to Beth and Mark's for a little while this morning. Came home and took a nap. I was supposed to go out to a friend's tonight but those plans fell through. The other person who was supposed to call didn't. Keep hearing "Lonesome Loser".

So I'm here watching Monster Hunters on the History Channel. I've learned that it's not possible for a human being to move the way the supposed Big Foot in the California (Oregon?) video moves, so it can't be a person moving awkwardly in a heavey monkey suit. Has something to do with the knee movements. I wasn't paying that close of attention. Sorry. Am now watching about wild dogs or some such.

Thought about going to the movies, but I have to go to work in the morning. I should be looking up writing activities because I have a meeting for that tomorrow afternoon, but I'm not really all that interested in that either. As it stands right now, I'm seriously considering a heavily doctored mug of hot cocoa, a bath, and the bed. Probably, though, I'm just going to go to bed.

I've been in a funk all month long, and it's still here.

The SCB came over Sunday and replaced my light switch. Brought his 85 year old Pops with him. I like old folks. It was sweet of the boy to come by and do that for me. First time I've seen him in a month. *sigh* I know he's been busy, but damn. Begins to get to me. Gave him his Christmas present while he was here. I think he liked it. I dunno. I don't know when I'm going to get to see him again. His Pops leaves Thursday, I think.

There's something wrong with the electrical system in the car. The blinkers are on the fritz and now the cruise control only works intermittently. Did I mention that I recently went over 100,000 miles? Like me, I suppose it's falling apart.

I suppose that it's time to begin thinking about the new year and what it's going to bring. I don't know if I'm going to make any resolutions this year. Other than to keep my nails done. I redid them this afternoon.

December 21, 2007

It just doesn't feel like Christmas. I don't know what's wrong with me. Traffic is crazy. It took me 20 minutes to get down 40th Avenue to the post office.

There are a few tantalizing job prospects on the horizon. I really am upset with my boss and the way this last week has turned out. It's kinda like screwing with people, but that's all I'm going to say right now.

I'm supposed to be on the coast tomorrow night, but I don't have anyone to watch the puppy, and with her being in heat, I'm real keen on leaving her in someone's backyard where another dog could get to her. We don't need puppies here. I might follow Mark and Beth down, but I don't know if I really want to drive all the way down there and back. Decisions.

It's solstice tonight. Maybe with the changing of the season, things will feel better.

I am a bit restless. I thought that maybe I should head over to New Orleans for the day, sit somewhere and write. But. I don't know that's the best idea for me right now. I do need to head somewhere with a World Market so I can pick up a few bottles of champagne for New Year's Eve. I imagine I'll be here at the house by myself. Or maybe not. I think Beth said something about maybe something at her house? And Polly and her boy don't have plans. Hmmmm...

The lightswitch in the kitchen is broken, which means I can't turn on the light in the kitchen. I'd call the landlord to have them fix it, but becuase of the holiday, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't get fixed until after new year's. I don't know if I want to try to do it myself. The PSB was explaining it to me, but we all know that I don't understand things by listening to them. Perhaps someone will take pity on me and come fix it for me. Although I don't know who.

December 20, 2007

It's been a rough December. Some times December is hard anyway, but for some reason this year it's really bad. I'm not sure what's going on, but there it is. Maybe it's the fact that we, until recently, had some decidedly unChristmas-like weather. It was in the mid-80s for goodness sake. I'm still not ready for Christmas at all. I just got my Christmas cards out. I should be writing them right now, but I'm not. I keep feeling like disaster is looming. It gets closer and closer every single day...and I don't know how to avoid it. I feel like I'm going to puke right now.

I think my puppy is finally in heat. She's not bleeding, but she's swollen where she shouldn't be. I know I should have gotten her fixed before now. I know. I know. I know. But since I didn't. Eh. Guess she'll be in her crate when she does start the icky messiness. And then with my non-existent bonus check, we'll go to the vet. (She stinks too. She's gotta have a bath. Guess maybe I'll do that tomorrow night)

It seemed like there was so much to tell you but now I can't think of what it was.

The cats aren't very happy with me. We had to switch fud and they apparently aren't very inclined to eat what is now in their bowl. They don't seem to understand that I'm not really one of those that is willing to entertain their finnickiness. For god's sake, I don't let them sleep in the bed unless they're going to sleep at the foot of it. What makes them think that holding out is going to get them a different kind of fud. (and I know that I should have gradually switched their fud, but unfortunately I didn't get the choice to do it that way)

I should finally get my stipend from the writing project tomorrow. It's taken long enough to make that happen. The thing that iritates me the most about it was that I kept asking about it, but no one checked on it. I was the one who had to do the legwork. That pisses me off. You know if it was their money, they'd be scrambling and staying on top of it.

I'm so poor that it's not even funny. I just paid bills, and well. It's not pretty. At all. I need a new job (I've applied for a couple of jobs these evening...two part time, two full-time, one here, one in Pensacola). I think I need to get rid of my cable...but not the internet. Why do I need to watch television anyway? I'm supposed to be working on my dissertation. I need to finish my degree so I can get out of here and stop worrying about money. What is wrong with me?

Have I told y'all about my mole? Ugh. The mole that's been on the front of my neck for as long as I can remember has been causing me pain this week. Actually it doesn't hurt today. It's still a little red and a little swollen, but it's not as bad as it was. I think I bumped it or scratched it or something. With no insurance, I can't afford to go to the doctor, so I'm going to believe that it is nothing serious, and that's what it's going to be.

Anyway. I've got to stop worrying. My tooth is hurting again. (Good grief, I'm apparently falling apart right now)

I read a couple of articles this morning that I thought were interesting and wanted to talk about, but I think I need to go to bed instead. Hope y'all are doing well and that your holiday is filled with happiness.

December 12, 2007

Today is my Sner's birthday. She's...older. Not old, though. She's still a young whippersnapper. I will get her pressie in the mail this weekend, along with everyone's Christmas cards.

I waxed my eyebrows and lips this morning before I went to work, and tonight when I got home, I did the bikini wax. It really gets easier the more you do it. If you use the little oil stuff that comes with the kit, then it's even easier.

I'm kind of at sixes and sevens right now. I'm not sure if it's just that it's December and we all know that December sucks if you're in my family.

I'm watching an old episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live. He and Danny Devito are wasted. It makes me want to drink some limoncello. If I didn't have to buy booze for the making of egg nog this coming week, I'd so be looking for a bottle of it. Not that I'd know where to get it here, but I'd look.

I have more to say, but it's going to have to wait for another evening. It's way late, and I need to sleep. Kisses.

December 10, 2007

Today when I went to lunch at 2:00, the sign at the bank said 82 degrees. Please check today's date. 82. I had to turn on the AC when I got home because it was 80 in the house, and that's just too damn hot. 82. Let me say that again. 82. It's not supposed to cool down until the weekend, I think. And "cool down" will be 65. Holy crow.

There was so much to tell you, but for the life of me, I can't remember most of it.

Hmmmmm...new nail polish makes a difference in the outcome of your manicure. I polished my nails last night, and they ended up gross and bubbled. Polished them tonight with new polish, and they're lovely and smooth. If y'all are trying to find stocking stuffers for me...shades of red nail polish will work great. I don't like the plain red, though. It needs a little depth and a little sparkle or something ot make it interesting.

I'm trying to think what else. I think it's probably time to redo the bathroom. I've got to buy a new shower curtain, so it's probably time for the duckies to go. Not quite sure what to replace them with, though.

I have to take my phone in and have them look at it. I can't get the bluetooth to work, nor can I transfer files to my computer or from the computer to the phone. That means I'm eithe ran idiot (possible) or that there's something wrong (also possible).

This puppy is on the floor at my feet. I had to put my feet up because she was actually sleeping on them. She's heavy.

Ironically, I spent the better part of the last week trying to keep myself from getting sick, right? Sucking down green tea, taking vitamin c, popping cold meds. I'm a little snuffly, but that's about it. The boy? The boy wanted to come to dinner tonight (apparently), but he is sick as a dog. Said earlier that he was running a 101 fever. Good grief. Can't win for losing.

So, y'all know that occasionally, I get to feeling like the world is going to end. Right? And usually that winds up meaning absolutely nothing. I was feeling it something fierce today. All queasy and a little clammy. Totally anxious, all day long. Sent a couple of text messages out to friends asking them to be careful today. Almost immediately got a call from a friend asking me what I knew and what was going on because he'd just gotten a death threat and was leaving the police station. F-R-E-A-K-Y. Still feeling a little uneasy. Strange.

Can't believe it's alreayd the 10th of the month. I've got to get my Christmas cards done. Ugh. Not that I don't want to send them. Just that they take me so long because I wrote so much. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I suppose the sooner I get on it, the sooner it will be done, huh?

December 9, 2007

What a waste of a day. I got up the first time around 7:30, walked the doggie and fed her. Put the roast in the crockpot to make carnitas. Then went back to bed because my head was killing me. Slept until about 1:00. Got up, puttered around, went to the store, where there were no multi-grain or wheat tortillas to be found. Did my nails. Need to buy new nail polish and redo them tomorrow night because I have bubbles. The bubbles drive me insane I tell you.

I need to write my Christmas cards. I was going to do it today, but I couldn't find my green pen. Suppose that means I will need to pick one up tomorrow so I can get those out in the mail before it gets to be way too late. I should have done them long before now, but I just haven't been real inclined.

There's more to say, but I think I'm going to go to bed. It's very late, and I need to go to bed.

December 7, 2007

I took my puppy to Petsmart today so she could get her picture made with Santa Paws. What an experience. The picture is actually pretty crappy, but $5.00 from my $8.95 purchase price goes to the local animal shelter, so I suppose it was worth it. There are times when I wonder if my puppy is as well-behaved as I'd like her to be, and let me tell you, at least this afternoon, she was the best doggie in the whole wide world. I suppose I shouldn't get too big-headed. Maybe not the best doggie in the whole wide world. Maybe just the best doggie at Petsmart today.

There were tons of other dogs there, and she just sat between my feet. She didn't bark or try to get to the other dogs. Just sat between my feet. I was so very proud of her. Such a good girl she was, and I was such the happy momma. Some guy actually came up to me and said that he thought she was such a pretty girl. He wanted to know where I got my "lab". Had to inform him that she was just a mutt, but that she was a pretty good mutt, all things considered. I love my puppy.

In other news, I went to see The Golden Compass this afternoon. I love Iorek Byrinson! Love him! Gandalf's voice wasn't right for him, though. I pictured him as having a much younger sounding voice. He was a prince when he was exiled. He shouldn't sound like an old man. Other than that, I thought it was a good show. Oh, almost forgot Sam Elliot. He's still hot. Even if he is an old man. It was a very fast movie. Could have probably been a little longer so things could have been explained a little better. Certainly sets up the sequel. I'm ready for it.

It has been a rough day. Very sad. Y'all know that sometimes I get like that. today was kinda like a perfect storm of stuff. Unfortunately, I may have taken it out on the SCB. It's been almost three weeks since I've really seen him. My messages haven't been returned. I have issues. I admit that, and I know it. I don't like feel like I'm imposing on someone. I don't want to be somewhere I'm not wanted. If I'm not getting a response, I think I'm not wanted. If something has changed, then just let me know and I'll toddle off into the ether.

He says, though, that nothing has changed, he's trying to do the things I want, he cares about me. I just have to remind myself that this isn't a relationship. When I start thinking of it as a relationship, that's where I get into trouble. I suppose I also need to remind myself that I have issues. Which are mine to own...and I shouldn't take that out on someone else.

My head is killing me, and I'm pretty sure that I am in fact sick. There's a sort of soreness in my throat. I so cannot afford to be sick. I cannot afford much these days, but being sick is way up there on the list. I suppose I'll just tough it out, though.

Bought 17 pounds of pork today. It was on sale for 99 cents/pound, and it's the stuff that I use to make carnitas, which will be what I give the MS brothers for Christmas. Plus I like carnitas. I'm making them tomorrow.

Anyway, it's late and I need to go to bed. Sleeping will probably be good for this cold thing that I have going on. Plus I need to clean the house tomorrow and do laundry and cook. *sigh* And do my nails. This manicure I got the day after Thanksgiving is just now starting to look worn.

December 6, 2007

Earlier in the day, I really felt like the vitamin C and the green tea and the cold medicine was working, but now, not so much. I so don't want to be sick. The folks who have this grossness have been down for two weeks. Steriod shots. Drugs. Hundreds of dollars at the doctor's office and the pharmacy. That scares me. Being sick without health insurance scares me. Terribly.

I watched Grey's Anatomy for the first time in a long time tonight. I thought it was a good episode. I still can't stand Izzy. Think she's about the whiniest woman. *sigh*

I read a lot of stuff today that I could probably talk about tonight, but I can't remember it now. Not quite sure what that's about. Something about ethanol and how we're getting screwed on that deal. Which is true. (write your representatives and tell them to figure something else out)

Are y'all done with your Christmas shopping? I'm nowhere near done, but I pretty much have an idea for every one. I think. All that remains is to do the actual shopping and putting in the time to create the other ones.

Have I mentioned how much I hate cleaning the litter box? I've been spoiled the last three years with the littermaid. I need to get serious about the bidding for another one on ebay.

I need to take some more Vitamin C, a couple of cold pills, and take the doggie out before we curl up with our electric blanket.

December 5, 2007

So the vitamin C, green tea, and cold medicine does not appear to be working. I really, really don't want to be sick.

There was a discussion elsewhere today about what people would like to do to a man who shot a girl 6 times. Some of the proposed punishments were frankly barbaric. I really don't understand the urge to meet horrific violence with more horrific violence. I mean...we *are* rational human beings. To meet violence with violence when we are not personally threatened seems like an incredible loss of control.

I have more thoughts, but I really need to go to bed. Sorry. More tomorrow night. Maybe.

December 4, 2007

My tooth hurts again. But then again, I've been stressed out a bit, and most of my teeth are hurting. I've done some searching tonight on dental insurance or discount dental programs. It's looking like I can purchase a discount program for about $10/month (with a $45 processing fee for the year), and that will entitle me to a discount at participating dentists (which are in my area) that gets me a root canal at about $400...plus the cost of a crown. Which appears to be about $450. I'm not sure how much cheaper that would be than just paying for everything.

Regardless, I don't have that kind of money laying around. Looks like I really need to find a job with insurance. And one that pays me more.

Anyway. It's late, and I should probably go to bed. I put the electric blanket on the bed last night. One side of it doesn't really work. You can't turn it higher than 3 and then sometime in the middle of the night, it turns itself off. *sigh* I guess it's good that I like to sleep on the left side of the bed to begin with.

I'm feeling slightly sorry for myself. That's OK. It'll get better here shortly.

The dog has been rotten lately. She knows how to lay down and to sit, but the last two nights, she has not wanted to show that she actually knows how to do that. Amber, are y'all having problems with Max like that? Or is it just my lax parenting style?

Probably the later, huh?

I bought Eric's Christmas present tonight. Picked it up at Hudson's. I hadn't been in there in quite awhile. I was in search of red candles (didn't find them). I was unimpressed, although they do have a stock of clothes in from Kohl's, selling at $7.99/piece. I might go back and dig through to see if there's anything of interest.

There have been very sick people at work. I am starting to sniffle. I better not be getting it. I'm hoping to spend time with the boy this weekend, and it will piss me off to no end if I'm sick.

December 2, 2007

Wow. I am really struggling with the idea that it's already December. Where does the time go? I mean really? How does it get to be another month gone, almost another year? And what do I have to show for all of that time? What has happened in my life? It used to be that I documented the minutia of my life on these pages so I could easily see what I had done with that time, but I've gotten rather bad about that. Probably because there's not a whole lot to tell. *sigh*

I need to get y'all caught up a bit, don't I? Good grief, where to start? I suppose it might be easiest to work my way backward, huh?

Yesterday was the Hattiesburg Jaycee's Christmas parade. All-in-all, I think it was probably a better parade than last year. I'm pretty sure that we had a few less entries than last year, but I think we did OK. I also think we made money on it. We raised our entry fee from $10 to $20 this year and not only did we have basically the same number of entrants (maybe 5-10 less), we had the larger number actually pay for the privilege to be in the parade. The new police chief rode a motorcycle at the head of the parade, and that was really nice to see him come out and support us like that, although I realize that it wasn't about supporting us but rather about getting his face out there in the public, letting people know that he's not the former chief. Whatever it was, we were glad to have him.

After the parade, the MS parents and I went to Roots Reunion downtown. Some good bluegrass played. Amazing little fiddler. She should stick with playing, though, and stay away from the singing. The Cotton Blossom Singers from the Piney Woods School performed some excellent spirituals, although I'm not sure how the crowd appreciated it. Lots of folks left during. L.C. Ulmer was good, although the kid that was playing with him looked terribly uncomfortable and stiff.

Friday night we went to the Mahogany for some cocktails. Got the SCB to come out with us for a little while. He wasn't going to at first, said I was the only one there that he'd know. To which I responded, I'm not enough? I mean, it had been a week and a half since I'd seen him. Geez. So, he showed up until his friends made it into town. I should be happy with that, but I'm really not. He told me that he would be out of town this coming week for work. It kinda irritates me that if I hadn't invited him out, I wouldn't have seen him for two weeks.

As it is, this past week, I've been feeling like we're heading into territory that we've been through before, but I don't know. He said to trust him, so that's what I'm working on doing. I need to keep reminding myself that we're not in a relationship. We're not dating. So. That means that if I don't see him, it's OK. And you know what, I suppose it really is OK. No worries here. Certainly puts to test my theories about relationships and attachment, etc.

(See how quickly I can talk myself out of things? *sigh*)

Other than that, I think it was an uneventful week.

Other than the drives from hell, it was a good Thanksgiving at home. I got sent back with my very own pecan pie. The weather was crappy so there wsn't a lot of yard work that could be done. Saw Shannie, spent time with Cari and her sweet kids, had dinner with the extended family. Sner and I spent some time shopping and I brought lots of beer home with me (it's still in the trunk because I haven't felt like drinking it yet). I think that about sums it up.

Maybe later in the week I'll get some pics of the Thanksgiving and the Christmas parade up so y'all can live vicariously.

Anyway. I'm tired. Need to get in the bed with my puppy. Whom I let sleep in the bed with me last night. She hauled herself up, which was comical in and of itself, and she got the picture that she sleeps at the bottom or she sleeps on the floor. So. Yeah. Good deal.